• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Thought of the day.

#1
And Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, all the while thinking ..........





" I wish I'd eaten more than fucking pancakes before I started this. "
 
#3
I've seen the Guinness adverts........

"Guinness for strength!"


"Guinness is good for you!"





I must have missed the one that said, "Guinness turns your turds into fizzy black gravy!"
 
#4
A real woman is a man's best friend.


She will never stand him up & never let him down.


She will reassure him when he feels insecure & comfort him after a bad day.


She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do, she will enable him to express deepest emotions & give in to his most intimate desires.



she will make him feel confident & sexy, seductive & invincible...........




No wait... I'm thinking of Lager, it's fucking Lager that does that.


Sorry.
 
#5
Fucking hell, I had too much to drink last night celebrating St Patricks day..........





I'd better get my arse out of bed and get to work as I'm late already and Friday is always a busy day.
 
#8
A husband in Romania set fire to his house so his wife couldn't get it as part of the divorce.........




In the UK we are a bit fairer, the house is split 50-50, with the man traditionally getting the outside.
 
#11
I was asked to make a speech at my mate's funeral.


Trying to put a positive spin on things, I said, "our only consolation is that Steve died doing something he loved......."





Apparently that's considered inappropriate in cases of autoerotic asphyxiation.
 

Latest Threads