Those Crashey Dutscsh

Mr_Fingerz

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#4
This idea could only work on trains with non-opening windows. Otherwise it would only last until someone hurled a full bag out the window as their express hurtled past a crowded platform.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#6
That one's as old as the train itself. Probably the reason why they don't have opening windows any more.
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#7
This idea could only work on trains with non-opening windows. Otherwise it would only last until someone hurled a full bag out the window as their express hurtled past a crowded platform.
You can do that with HST/Mk3 stock in the UK, but I doubt that anybody would notice.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#10
Sounds delightful, very similar to walking through any part of Fortitude Valley. On Friday/Saturday night you can actually be pissed on in real time, if you don't avoid known impact areas.
 
#11
Would chucking a shite filled bag from a train window be in contravention of an obscure Railways Act?

When thrown, It could possibly land at the feet of a well heeled commuter. The bag would break, and in a fashion not too dissimilar to an exploding shit grenade, would cover the unsuspecting individuals strides in a foul plethora of rancid brown matter.

As the gaseous stench slowly emanated from the broken bag, other potential train users would obviously reflex gag, and begin a mexican wave of Involuntary projectile vomiting, thus adding to the platform confusion.

Bewildered staff would attempt to calm the stampeding commuters, as they exited the station, incommoding the incoming passengers already late for the 7.31 express about to depart from platform 3. Punches will be thrown, and the ground will be awash with blood and broken spectacles.

Rats would then appear from trackside, excited by the aromatic whiff of gentlemans arse gravy, and pack like, would ravage, the by now unconscious body of the original targeted well heeled commuter.

He could say goodbye to his season ticket, as it was mauled from his outstretched fingers, and it would be 'adios to the rolled up copy of his shit spattered morning paper.

The ubiquitous tramp sat idly by, would of course show no interest in the proceedings, save for flicking small lumps of poo shrapnel from his cold tea, with a gnarled finger.

By the time anyone realises as to what occurred, the shit bag bombardier would have left the train at the next stop, and cheerfully whistled his way to work.

I haven't given this much thought to be honest, but we should be told, before someone tries it.
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#12
Would chucking a shite filled bag from a train window be in contravention of an obscure Railways Act?

When thrown, It could possibly land at the feet of a well heeled commuter. The bag would break, and in a fashion not too dissimilar to an exploding shit grenade, would cover the unsuspecting individuals strides in a foul plethora of rancid brown matter.

As the gaseous stench slowly emanated from the broken bag, other potential train users would obviously reflex gag, and begin a mexican wave of Involuntary projectile vomiting, thus adding to the platform confusion.

Bewildered staff would attempt to calm the stampeding commuters, as they exited the station, incommoding the incoming passengers already late for the 7.31 express about to depart from platform 3. Punches will be thrown, and the ground will be awash with blood and broken spectacles.

Rats would then appear from trackside, excited by the aromatic whiff of gentlemans arse gravy, and pack like, would ravage, the by now unconscious body of the original targeted well heeled commuter.

He could say goodbye to his season ticket, as it was mauled from his outstretched fingers, and it would be 'adios to the rolled up copy of his shit spattered morning paper.

The ubiquitous tramp sat idly by, would of course show no interest in the proceedings, save for flicking small lumps of poo shrapnel from his cold tea, with a gnarled finger.

By the time anyone realises as to what occurred, the shit bag bombardier would have left the train at the next stop, and cheerfully whistled his way to work.

I haven't given this much thought to be honest, but we should be told, before someone tries it.
Bye Laws or no Bye Laws, it's got to liven-up commuter-time at Crewe.
 
#13
We are issued these bag at my work.
Rather than bother about a bag of jellied urine, I still simply pull over and use the verge.
Great Lakes Water shed, I piss it!
 
#14
Would chucking a shite filled bag from a train window be in contravention of an obscure Railways Act?

When thrown, It could possibly land at the feet of a well heeled commuter. The bag would break, and in a fashion not too dissimilar to an exploding shit grenade, would cover the unsuspecting individuals strides in a foul plethora of rancid brown matter.

As the gaseous stench slowly emanated from the broken bag, other potential train users would obviously reflex gag, and begin a mexican wave of Involuntary projectile vomiting, thus adding to the platform confusion.

Bewildered staff would attempt to calm the stampeding commuters, as they exited the station, incommoding the incoming passengers already late for the 7.31 express about to depart from platform 3. Punches will be thrown, and the ground will be awash with blood and broken spectacles.

Rats would then appear from trackside, excited by the aromatic whiff of gentlemans arse gravy, and pack like, would ravage, the by now unconscious body of the original targeted well heeled commuter.

He could say goodbye to his season ticket, as it was mauled from his outstretched fingers, and it would be 'adios to the rolled up copy of his shit spattered morning paper.

The ubiquitous tramp sat idly by, would of course show no interest in the proceedings, save for flicking small lumps of poo shrapnel from his cold tea, with a gnarled finger.

By the time anyone realises as to what occurred, the shit bag bombardier would have left the train at the next stop, and cheerfully whistled his way to work.

I haven't given this much thought to be honest, but we should be told, before someone tries it.
Pulitzer Prize material...
 

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