Right, I can't flog these to the Screws now, so I thought I'd post them here. They're genuine phone tap transcripts of Arrsers. Any more welcome..... Falshirmjager: "Hello, look, I'm going to sit on the fence on this one. To be honest, I've had words with the padre and I'm keen to embrace diversity. We airborne chaps could learn a lot from our French cousins." RECORDED 6/7/09 Mr Deputy: "Hi, yes, 'tis me. I wonder if I could borrow that old joke book again? The last one did me wonders. I got so many 'likes'.... er, no I'm not going to pay for it. I have an arrangement with the publisher." RECORDED 5/9/07 Jarrod: "Hi, is that (VERY FAMOUS ACTOR WITH SUPER INJUNCTION)? Hello, Heartface. I'm afraid I haven't got the shallots for the marinade, so it will have to be KFC as usual" RECORDED 4/2/09 Pararegtom: "Er, roger that. Can't seem to find the grid. Er, hang on, I've to put another 50p in the phone. BEEP BEEP BEEP. Wait out. BEEEEEEP" RECORDED 4/4/76 Good CO: "Look, I'm not prepared to have spam like this on the site unless you channel £60 into the usual account. Do you still have any of those bungee things left?" RECORDED 2/1/11 Tropper66: "Hello, is that the British Library? My name is Archimedes and I've invented this amazing screw-type thing." RECORDED 214BC I refuse to resign for posting this. It's all in the public interest.