Those Annoying Little Habits

#41
Oh, forgot to mention, people that mutter things under their breath, and when you ask them to repeat what they said, don't have the bollocks to say it out loud.

Hideous people.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#42
The boyenemy really winds me up with 'I need to have a conversation with...'.
'I phoned (anyone) as we needed to have a conversation about...'

I've only just got it to stop saying 'it's all going pear shaped'

If it starts saying 'At the end of the day' it'll get poisoned.
 
#45
The boyenemy really winds me up with 'I need to have a conversation with...'.

If it starts saying 'At the end of the day' it'll get poisoned.
Americanists who say "Can I speak with you?" Well, I'd really rather you learned to speak without support.

I was in a typically suicide-inducing meeting once, the topic of which was almost certainly the meeting we'd had the day before, with a cockney prat who's every sentence was punctuated with "Yeah, but, right, at the end of the day yeah..." My rather well-spoken boss eventually snapped and said "At the end of the day, Mr Cockneyprat, it is night time. Could we perhaps get to the point?"

I had to feign overwhelming interest in a Health and Safety poster for several minutes before daring to rejoin the conversation.
 
#46
Americanists who say "Can I speak with you?" Well, I'd really rather you learned to speak without support.

I was in a typically suicide-inducing meeting once, the topic of which was almost certainly the meeting we'd had the day before, with a cockney prat who's every sentence was punctuated with "Yeah, but, right, at the end of the day yeah..." My rather well-spoken boss eventually snapped and said "At the end of the day, Mr Cockneyprat, it is night time. Could we perhaps get to the point?"

I had to feign overwhelming interest in a Health and Safety poster for several minutes before daring to rejoin the conversation.
You should have given him a Curly Wurly to shut him up.
 
#47
Running out of petrol, shit drivers ypu CUNT!
I agree with that. There are few excuses for running out of petrol, it's just shit driving and you really do need to get your shit in one sock.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#48
Twatdangles who say thing like "You need to get your shit in one sock".

Wankers.

1) I shit
2) I wear socks
3) Update your Facebook page you fucking Muppet. Do I look like I shit in my fucking sock? Stupid cunt.

14) People who mow their lawn but ignore the moss.
 
#49
One thread in 2 months? You should have gone to Specsavers.

Oh, and people presuming I have tits is reaaaaaaally annoying.
Keep one of these handy dear, you can whip it out at the right moment and show him that you have tits (one at a time of course), then you can use it to search for his nob.

magnifying-glass-10.gif
 
#50
I fucking hate people criticising my lawn.
 
B

Boozy

Guest
#52
- People who are always whining at you for no reason or for matters that are beyond your control and not your fault either. Just stfu you horse faced, gummy toothed old whore.

- People who are convinced they are fantastic parents and can therefore chastise other people's kids, despite the fact that their wee jimmy, aged just 15 was on trial for murder not too long ago.

-People who cough or clear their throat, not because they need to, but because it's become habit. This continues even through the night waking you up every 15 minutes or stopping you from sleeping altogether - earplugs work but then you end up sleeping in and being late for work.

-People who take two baths a day and use all the hot water at ridiculous o'clock in the morning, meaning that when you get up in the morning the shower is ice cold, and when you try to take one at night it's still ice cold because they've had a second bath.

-Men who wax their back hair and leave the strips lying in the bath.

- Hearing people slap their tongue around their mouth when they eat and hearing all the saliva slapping about as they chew and swallow - fucking nauseating to the degree I can't eat myself lest I projectile across the table. I suppose it's good if you're on a diet though!

-People who leave briefcases lying around on darkened landings for you to trip over and brain yourself. Then it's apparently your fault for not looking down and seeing it.

-People who say "Chicargo" instead of "Chicago" and add the letter 'r' into other words where it is not present either, particularly bad in this region of the world for some reason, where are you getting this extra 'r' from?! Grrr!
 

CplFoodspoiler

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#53
You know the sort of thing. Those littlle mannerisms that drive you nuts.

For me its the silly little pretend cough emanating from someone when I light up a fag several metres away from them. It usually comes from a middle aged, middle classed female with lips pursed like a chicken's bottom, and generally means "I don't actually have a chest problem but I want you to know that I know that you're smoking and I don't approve".

So what little foibles drive you to homicidal rage??
Smokers.
 
#54
People who insist on talking with a scouse accent. I swear, if those fuckers at work don't stop it, I'm going to go postal. I'll just wait til the right week and then I can blame it on PMS and get away with it. Probably get a medal too.


-People who say "Chicargo" instead of "Chicago" and add the letter 'r' into other words where it is not present either, particularly bad in this region of the world for some reason, where are you getting this extra 'r' from?! Grrr!
My best friend, an otherwise fairly well educated person, spells the word "can't" as "carn't". She's a rather sensitive soul, so I haven't yet found a way of correcting her whilst keeping a straight face and not ripping the piss out of her.
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#55
What the fuck? Are you Shaft?
No. I'm not the required shade. I am, however, a sex machine to all the chicks so I can see why you were getting confused.
 
#56
Bloody people who say "can I get a........." when asking for something in a shop, well 'no you can't but I could get it for you' is the answer

People who say "to be fair" at the end of most sentences even though it is complete contextual nonsense.

People who stop at roundabouts to see if it is clear to proceed even though it was patently obviously traffic free from 100 yards back if only they had bothered top feckin look.

They do the same thing at junctions, -pull up to yield line, hand brake on, into neutral,look to right or left, in to gear, handrake off, look to right or left and then move off, having received a written invitation to proceed, Cunts!
 
#57
Bloody people who say "can I get a........." when asking for something in a shop, well 'no you can't but I could get it for you' is the answer

People who say "to be fair" at the end of most sentences even though it is complete contextual nonsense.

People who stop at roundabouts to see if it is clear to proceed even though it was patently obviously traffic free from 100 yards back if only they had bothered top feckin look.

They do the same thing at junctions, -pull up to yield line, hand brake on, into neutral,look to right or left, in to gear, handrake off, look to right or left and then move off, having received a written invitation to proceed, Cunts!
people who say yield instead of Give way, Cunts! Oh and those that keep rakes in their cars for some weird reason.
 
#59
I don't find others' habits annoying at all.

:)
 
#60
People who stop at roundabouts to see if it is clear to proceed even though it was patently obviously traffic free from 100 yards back if only they had bothered top feckin look.

They do the same thing at junctions, -pull up to yield line, hand brake on, into neutral,look to right or left, in to gear, handrake off, look to right or left and then move off, having received a written invitation to proceed, Cunts!
... and then having to find their fucking reading glasses, refold invitation and put it in glove compartment next to the Werthers and put the driving gloves - the ones with the little holes - back on and readjust the weird ball thingies on the seat that's supposed to support your back, check mirror and off we go.... BANG... enter one big fuck off artic through the right passenger door.
 

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