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Those Annoying Little Habits

L

lumpy2

Guest
#1
You know the sort of thing. Those littlle mannerisms that drive you nuts.

For me its the silly little pretend cough emanating from someone when I light up a fag several metres away from them. It usually comes from a middle aged, middle classed female with lips pursed like a chicken's bottom, and generally means "I don't actually have a chest problem but I want you to know that I know that you're smoking and I don't approve".

So what little foibles drive you to homicidal rage??
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#4
Human beings existing near me. They do it deliberately, I'm sure of it.
Amen brother. Especially the ones who were clearly bred from fucking sheep.

I went to Fife last week and ended up on the beach (not exactly the riviera but it was a nice day) sitting in the sun and doing some reading. It was a weekday and there was not a soul for miles around.

A family pitch up, all wicker picnic baskets and tartan rugs, and they promptly decide to park themselves right fucking next to me on an otherwise empty two mile strip of sand.

Humans. Scum of the Earth.
 
#5
You know when you get to that stage in a relationship with a lady, & its time to pop that question, "can I stick it up your Arrse love" & she says NO! that's annoying.
 
#8
Amen brother. Especially the ones who were clearly bred from fucking sheep.

I went to Fife last week and ended up on the beach (not exactly the riviera but it was a nice day) sitting in the sun and doing some reading. It was a weekday and there was not a soul for miles around.

A family pitch up, all wicker picnic baskets and tartan rugs, and they promptly decide to park themselves right fucking next to me on an otherwise empty two mile strip of sand.

Humans. Scum of the Earth.
Glossing over the amusing image of you leaning on your lecturn like Bob Cratchit, thumbing through your Biographia Literaria, surrounded by proles eating pasties and picking sand out of their foreskins, I think you do have a point.
 
#9
Amen brother. Especially the ones who were clearly bred from fucking sheep.

I went to Fife last week and ended up on the beach (not exactly the riviera but it was a nice day) sitting in the sun and doing some reading. It was a weekday and there was not a soul for miles around.

A family pitch up, all wicker picnic baskets and tartan rugs, and they promptly decide to park themselves right fucking next to me on an otherwise empty two mile strip of sand.

Humans. Scum of the Earth.
My condolences.
 
#11
You pay through the nose for a ticket to see The Magic Flute and then, just as Papageno whips out his pipe and sings "Der Vogelfänger bin ich ja", some cunt hoiks a big greenie out and coughs his lungs into the stalls.

That's quite annoying.
 
#15
Bloody Greta Garbo! Bloody Greta Garbo - stark naked save for a shortie nightie.. She was hanging on to the window sill, and I could see her knuckles all white ...
 

TheresaMay

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
#16
One of my all-time pet hates on ARRSE...

You know when someone posts a genuine question (and NOT when we get fucking paid); something along the lines of say, conflicting information in a JSP, their OC's told them one thing but the BAO's told them another etc...

Someone comes along (eventually) and posts the DS answer.

Then 5-10 mins later you get that total chopper that has either never served / last served in 1967, adding their tuppence-worth which is most likely wrong or out of date "in my day we did it this way...blah blah".

Why God, why? They've got the answer they need. They've even said thank you. So why, in all your limited wisdom do you feel it necessary to unleash your head-dobber and let the world wide web know what an utter cunt you are? You utter cunt.
 
#17
Those Annoying Little Habits....

As I'm in a bad mood with TSO tonight I'm homing in on her freaking habits - and it pretty well all rotates around the tv.

Talking through every bloody tv program and making comments that have no relevance to the script/punchline/theme. I'm surprised that she hasn't been garroted yet at work.
Answering questions on quiz programs wrongly and then choosing every option i.e. mouthing off all four answers off "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and then when Tarrant reads the correct one out she says "There you go. I got it right."
Shouting down from upstairs through the noise of kids/tumble dryers/flushing toilets "What did he say?"
Fidgeting just when I've managed to retrieve the remote control and finding something blokey to watch and then she huffs around being busy.

Tv aside...
Going through the checkout receipt and telling me in detail what cost what.
Asking umpteen times what the weather's going to be.
Never answering a question. ND: "Do you want a brew my viper?"... "I don't know. What do you think?" she replies.
TSO works in Theatre - no, not nursey theatre - and anytime someone she's worked with or met pops up in the Media I have to listen to who they were married to, what they were in - usually with "You know, it's that bloke who was in that film." - their shoe size and how nice they are and all at least once a week. Babs Windsor, Nigel Havers, Sheilagh "She drives a Jag you know" Ferguson have all had the treatment this week.

Of course, like all Arrsers, I have no faults. Mild habits perhaps, things like Motorhead at full volume, breaking wind to paroxysms of laughter, calling all other drivers cnuts loudly... and answering Mastermind questions correctly and letting her know. There's no harm in that then is there boys, Lucretia and The Snail?
 
#18
People spitting in the street, dirty bastards, and dropping litter! Why? Cunts!

And people in shops who can't say 'Please' or 'Thank you'. It is only common curtesy you wankers, it makes the day a little nicer for everyone.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#19
1) Otherwise charming, erudite and well dressed chaps who do something so bone-jarringly fucking stupid you wonder if they are on drugs.

I went to Fife last week and ended up on the beach
Hi Sixty. How many fingers am I holding up?

2) People who start on Snail, my dear sister and wife, and believe they will walk away smiling, rather than me sticking however many fingers the degenerate drug fiend Sixty nominates, right up them.
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#20
1) Otherwise charming, erudite and well dressed chaps who do something so bone-jarringly fucking stupid you wonder if they are on drugs.



Hi Sixty. How many fingers am I holding up?

2) People who start on Snail, my dear sister and wife, and believe they will walk away smiling, rather than me sticking however many fingers the degenerate drug fiend Sixty nominates, right up them.
Shush, you Northumbrian cur. Your betters are discussing things unconnected with stotties, coal, poverty or Viz.
 

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