This Valentines Day.........

Better than nothing. And if it happens to come with an economy diamond I definitely wouldn't mind. You know, half a carat or so.
no no no no you have it all wrong

give a girl a cucumber and she'll be entertained for hours and you don't even need to wait around. she'll have satisfied her urges before you get back home so your dinner will be on the table and she'll not be harassing you for sex when the footy is on
Am getting Mrs sabre the same as i always do, Naff all, i dont see the point in spending money on flowers etc.... when all they get you is a card and thats if ya lucky.

Hint you want free flowers Nick them from the local grave yard, just make sure you take the card out first, and also that it doesnt say Mum etc...
Ms Duke flying in today. So as it is Val's day on Monday and she flies back Sun, I have promised her a romantic day on Sat. We are going to visit a lovely little tourist town, but what she does not know that in the little tourist town there is a Brit Pub, and you can guess what Brit pubs show on a Sat when the 6 nations is on, yes you guessed, so i will be shocked to see all the lads from work in there. I will be steaming by 6pm. She will hate me, who cares because when Ireland beat Scotland, it will be only 3 games till we pick up the Grand Slam.

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