Obviously at this time of year one's thoughts turn lightly to "When is St Scammell's Day" and will the big brunette from the village shop be displaying even more of her chebs soonest? Yet also at this time of year the plaguey fuckers in yellow and black stripes come out to annoy...and I don't mean the inbreds of the "Seventh Nation" on an away day from Redruth. I mean bloody jaspers, wasps! Today I had three of the bastards in the house but these weren't the usual dozy bang-bang-bang against the window until a rolled up copy of RUSI Defence Journal puts them to "sleep". no, these my brethren were spetz-wasps. Wasp number one was under the tooth mug this morning. A good strategy but one that it clearly hadn't thought through...squish. Number two was in the fridge. A good FUP for an attack on Cuddles one would think but of course it cryogenically handicapped itself and was swiftly done away with using a handy chorizo sausage as an improvised baton. number three was hard-core. he had hidden in the dog's cupboard and was on the shelf at eye-level...on opening the door, I clocked him, he clocked me and raised his wings. I shut the door, armed myself with a convenient packet of Vanish and then swiftly opened the door and "double-tapped" him into extinction. I think he wasn't expecting such a swift response but he and his crew were compromised ever since tooth brushing time this morning. God alone knows what the missing fourth member of the team is up to but I'll pull the duvet all the way back tonight. He's probably half way to Syria, yacking about percentage points off the bottom line and US publicity tours on his mobile with his publisher though. In other news...I dug the mother of all flower beds Saturday and yesterday. Drinking my coffee I inspected it this morning full of artisan pride, "Capability Cuddles" to the life. already a fucking cat has designated my garden's new adornment as latrine du jour. I am taking the BSA to bed tonight and around six tomorrow, as the feline pooper is squatting to unload, it will get a Diablo .22 suppository.