This, lads, is a fish knife

Discussion in 'Officers' started by barbs, Jul 3, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. This, lads, is a fish knife

    New Statesman - Feb 07

    Several threads about commissioning from the ranks reminded me of this article about the Potential Officers Development Course, which I thought may be useful for a wider audience.

     
  2. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    You mean . . . you can't blow your nose into the napkin?
     
  3. cpunk

    cpunk LE Moderator

    Only after the loyal toast.
     
  4. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Well thank gawd for that. I'm sure I could manage to sniff me snot back up until the toast was completed.

    I'd best get this technique sorted out pretty damned quick as I've been invited to a forthcoming Regimental Dinner.
     
  5. Fisk knives? How vulgar.
     
  6. I seem to remeber one of the questions asked in 'The Sloan Ranger's Handbook' (the original one...) was wether the Queen used fish knives and the answer was that she does!

    If its good enough for Queenie....
     
  7. That's not a knife, this is a knife!
    [​IMG]
     
  8. Believe it or not, I remember reading a really, really old etiquette book from about 1805 (or thereabouts), in which attention was drawn to the fact that it was no longer acceptable to blow yer schnozz on the tablecloth.

    So you're not far off the mark there, Biped. :D :D :D

    MsG
     
  9. Heathen!! - I bet you p*ss in the bath as well, a true gentlemen will p*ss in the sponge and then wring it out into the sink! :D (Allegedly :oops: )
     
  10. "They send you away on training days/weekends . . . to learn the ins and outs of what fork goes where and how to talk like a constipated fruit gargler."

    Always handy when Terry is fragging you with RPG rounds.
     
  11. HM the Queen Mother was once invited to a dinner, where a guest subjected her, the hostess and his fellow diners to a diatribe about how fish knives were simply vulgar and how surprised he was that the hostess was using such common items.

    Said guest was later invited to dine with HMtQM. There was a fish course on the menu, and the offending articles were at every place setting. Every time the anti-fish-knife chap turned up to dine with HMtQM over the next three decades, fish would be on the menu as the main course.

    Apparently, as they were about to tuck in, HMtQM would always comment on what a useful thing fish knives were, and how clever the person who thought of them was - just loudly enough for said dinner guest to hear...
     
  12. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    HMtQM was a Lady of distinction, and better versed in politics and social etiquette than said big-mouth could ever hoped to have been. One can only hope that the big-mouth was not too much of a dullard to miss the point over 30 years.
     
  13. As a young gunner many, many moons ago, I was given jankers serving at a oofercers mess ball. One of my duties that night was to serve the wine, one of the oofercers was a “real pain in the arse” he kept telling everyone at the dinner table that he knew everything about wine, he was one of those broomstick stuck up arrse sort of *anker.
    Any way to cut to the chase, he managed to down at least two bottles of very good Mosel mixed with urine, without commenting on “How much body” the year1963 had.
     
  14. The Americans run a similar course for their Defence Attaches - rather too many were drinking the finger bowls and cutting their food up at the start of each course before forking it down like toddlers.

    As I recall fish knives were introduced because Victorian fish courses used so much lemon and the acid would have damaged the steel blades of those usually used.
     
  15. I think it more likely that they were devised for lifting the fish from the bone more readily than can be achieved with a table knife.