This film sounds promising

#8
auscam said:
Yeah, I auditioned for that, but the light reflected off my stretchmarks.
I heard your arse got stuck to the window. Bad times, I feel for you...
 
#12
Not completely, but I like the pain. The scars blend in with the stretchmarks and syphilis chancres, it's quite artistic, so my 'friends' tell me.
 
#13
auscam said:
Not completely, but I like the pain. The scars blend in with the stretchmarks and syphilis chancres, it's quite artistic, so my 'friends' tell me.
Well, I've ordered the 500 jars of vaseline you asked me to get in PM. They'll be with you in 5-10 working days. Hope your 'friends' can clean the wounds.
 
#14
Ooh yes, I like it when they burst the chancres with their teeth, lick the pus out, and spit into the back of my head. It's a brown streak in my otherwise grey existence, you see.
 
#15
auscam said:
Ooh yes, I like it when they burst the chancres with their teeth, lick the pus out, and spit into the back of my head. It's a brown streak in my otherwise grey existence, you see.
Fuck the dogging film. This sounds like it could win an Oscar. :D
 
#16
With Barry Humphries playing myself;
3 PARA Mortar Platoon as my 'friends';
Russell Crowe as the unsuspecting AA man;
Kylie Minogue as the social worker with an awful secret;
Rolf Harris as the landowner;
Nigella Lawson as the magistrate;
and MDN as the clap doctor.

Hollywood awaits!
 
#17
auscam said:
With Barry Humphries playing myself;
3 PARA Mortar Platoon as my 'friends';
Russell Crowe as the unsuspecting AA man;
Kylie Minogue as the social worker with an awful secret;
Rolf Harris as the landowner;
Nigella Lawson as the magistrate;
and MDN as the clap doctor.

Hollywood awaits!
I would queue to watch that movie, what a cast!!
 
#18
Screenplay by Ken Russell
Cinematography by Terry Gilliam
Sets and costumes by Ed Wood
Soundtrack by Nick Cave
PR by Paul Gadd
Narration by Grace Jones
 

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