This doesn't bear thinking about !

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#1
Looks like it should be in this forum, you're supposed to be the all-singing, all-dancing experts on quack stuff.
I don't know if this is gen, but even if untrue it still makes me wince. In that case, what twisted brain thinks this kak up then ?

I was a newly arrived doctor at the local hospital of a town I had recently moved to, and was called to the emergency room one morning by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles." The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.
After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze
wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender.
A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, the I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were.
Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard.

We x-rayed the patient's scrotum to locate the staples; admitted him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning.
The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch.
Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened.

The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present.
Through-and-through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed.

Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less than a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me.
An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his coworkers.
Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of machinery.
One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt.
When his scrotum became caught between the pulley- wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away.
Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work.
One can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.

What a tosser
 
#3
So what was on the conveyor machine? Cornflakes or somesuch. And where the hell is his left knacker? Nothing should be eaten until this mans left nut is found!
 
#5
Apparently true, featured in the "Darwin Awards" and confirmed as real story
 
#6
Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of machinery.
8O

One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt.
:?

When his scrotum became caught between the pulley- wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away.
:(

Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work.
:cry:

One can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.
:lol: No Sh*t Sherlock! :lol:


:twisted: That'll teach him! :twisted:
 

TomB

Old-Salt
#7
Probably still safer than getting your bits too close to a few QA's I can think of!
 
#9
Perhaps this guy and that bloke Bobbit in the US whose missus cut his old fella off could get together and compare notes. Only one d*ck and three nuts between them. If they can find one more they could form a club.

But what would you call it? Come on you lot ideas please. Most creative name wins a bag of nuts.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#10
Birdie_Numnums said:
Perhaps this guy and that bloke Bobbit in the US whose missus cut his old fella off could get together and compare notes. Only one d*ck and three nuts between them. If they can find one more they could form a club.

But what would you call it? Come on you lot ideas please. Most creative name wins a bag of nuts.
One d*ck & three nuts ?

But isn't that normal ?

Per bloke I mean ?
 
#11
Cutaway said:
Birdie_Numnums said:
Perhaps this guy and that bloke Bobbit in the US whose missus cut his old fella off could get together and compare notes. Only one d*ck and three nuts between them. If they can find one more they could form a club.

But what would you call it? Come on you lot ideas please. Most creative name wins a bag of nuts.
One d*ck & three nuts ?

But isn't that normal ?

Per bloke I mean ?
if that is the case with you, it would explain a great deal :wink:
 

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