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This cant be happening....

#1
.....the powers that be where I work have set up a new media network, offering ad space inside kids playcentres.

We have been instructed that we are all required to go and visit some of the sites this Friday!

Now, excuse me, but I really do not want to pile onboard the sunshine bus with the other 19 sales staff and look like paedo's in some bloody playarea all afternoon.


I need advice on how to get out of this....and fast! Arrsers, It's over to you...........
 
#2
Moody:

Isn't that illegal?.. Advertising to kids in a ' captive environment ' or something?.. aren't there child exploitation laws ?.. I know that in certain media [ TV mostly ] you can't target kids...or is it okay now that they allow TV screens above the urinals and pepper drunks in bars with adverts for breath mints and high powered sports cars when they're defences [ and pants ] are down...?
 
#3
Suicide? Or just perhaps attempted suicide. Simply enough pills and alcohol to comatise you from now until Saturday, but not quite enough to end your life.

Hey presto, good excuse not to attend on Friday.
 
#4
Rocketeer said:
Moody:

Isn't that illegal?.. Advertising to kids in a ' captive environment ' or something?.. aren't there child exploitation laws ?.. I know that in certain media [ TV mostly ] you can't target kids...or is it okay now that they allow TV screens above the urinals and pepper drunks in bars with adverts for breath mints and high powered sports cars when they're defences [ and pants ] are down...?
Parents must remain on site while their kids are there - so 'technically' we offer an opportunity to target the parents.
 
#5
get a camelbak and fill it with red food dye. cut a hole in it and secure it to your stomach under your baby doll outfit or whatever you wear to work. Maybe a french maids outfit. At an opportune moment in front of your boss, double over and grip your stomach. Scream like michael jackson having his tradesmens introduced to his cellmate 'Bubba'. squeeze the camelbak so the dye comes shooting out (preferably downwards) look shocked at your boss and run out in tears. gotta be worth a couple of weeks off at least.
 
#6
Moodybitch said:
.....the powers that be where I work have set up a new media network, offering ad space inside kids playcentres.

We have been instructed that we are all required to go and visit some of the sites this Friday!

Now, excuse me, but I really do not want to pile onboard the sunshine bus with the other 19 sales staff and look like paedo's in some bloody playarea all afternoon.


I need advice on how to get out of this....and fast! Arrsers, It's over to you...........
Make yourself a Michael Jackson outfit for the day and invite the kids to play with you in the Neverland wendy house

or else tell them about your paranoid phobia of oompa loompas, dwarves and small folk generally :lol:

Hope this helps keep us posted
 
#8
Spend thursday cutting the heads off dolls and arranging them into a totem. When challenged, explain it's your new idea for advertising cornflakes, then reach under your desk saying "all it needs now is the finishing touch..."
pull out a jar of offal
"...my old placenta, I saved it specially"

Job jobbed
 
#13
RTFQ said:
Moodybitch said:
I've never offended anyone during sex I'll have you know
That's a lie, you called me a pin pricked waster who wouldn't know a climoris (or something) if one grew on my nose.
I actually said you couldn't find a clitoris with a miners headlamp, but glad you remember the jist of it......how is your little fella by the way?
 
#14
Moodybitch said:
RTFQ said:
Moodybitch said:
I've never offended anyone during sex I'll have you know
That's a lie, you called me a pin pricked waster who wouldn't know a climoris (or something) if one grew on my nose.
I actually said you couldn't find a clitoris with a miners headlamp, but glad you remember the jist of it......how is your little fella by the way?
Hey says hi and sorry for the 'missunderstanding'. They're both very close together you know. :oops:
 
#15
RTFQ said:
Moodybitch said:
RTFQ said:
Moodybitch said:
I've never offended anyone during sex I'll have you know
That's a lie, you called me a pin pricked waster who wouldn't know a climoris (or something) if one grew on my nose.
I actually said you couldn't find a clitoris with a miners headlamp, but glad you remember the jist of it......how is your little fella by the way?
Hey says hi and sorry for the 'missunderstanding'. They're both very close together you know. :oops:

I didn't notice. Probably cos its so teeny so no harm done... :D
 
#16
My God, you really do have a horrible job. BO! Kids!

I'm so sorry! I wish that I could offer something but I can't seem to escape from any of my assignments either!

You might want some retail therapy afterwards there. That works for me.
 
#17
Take a big bag of sweets with you when you go, i.e jelly beans or some such, and just sit there on your toadstool eating them, and really playing on it to the kids.

Teh kids will get jealous and ask you for a sweet, at which point you say NO
Then taunt the kids more, they will start crying, and youll be asked to leave the class room

Alternatively

grab kids bag when in the class room, and start going trough them,

take out there packed lunch and have a few bites from everything in it, before spitting it back in the bag, saying it tastes like crap, by the time you reach the third bag youll be asked to leave, and never come back.

Sure fire way to stay out of schools!
 
#18
Or just pretend that you have a really bad cold there. Nothing teachers hate more than a person with a cold that could make the kids get a cold so that they have to deal with the aftermath.

Imagine 30 kids with snotty noses and hacking coughs. Not a pretty sight!
 
#19
roxygirl said:
Or just pretend that you have a really bad cold there. Nothing teachers hate more than a person with a cold that could make the kids get a cold so that they have to deal with the aftermath.

Imagine 30 kids with snotty noses and hacking coughs. Not a pretty sight!
All kids always have snotty noses and hacking coughs so that won't work.
 

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