I brought a mate home direct from work the other day. The wife came downstairs still in her nightdress. "what you brought that twat round here for - look at me, still in me nightdress, not done me hair, no make up on, and if you think I'm going to start cooking for you - you can go and suck on a road kill" she says. "No love that was perfect" I said. "You see, he's thinking of getting married, so I thought I'd bring him round for a taster !!"