Thinking of batting for the other side!

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#1
Well to be honest I'm not because of 2 main issues.

1. The only thing I had in common with my ex wife was that neither of us were interested in cock.

2. My poop shute is a one way street.

Now after my last, rather pathetic, attempt at getting a no commitment shag has anyone got any ideas?
 
#2
Yeah go on Be Naughty, if you can't get a shag on there then you really need to consider your options

Shag Linky
 
#3
Buy a knife, if you can't force a woman to have sex with you, with the knife, use it to slit your wrists.
Hope this helps!
 
#4
I'm not sure of the current results but last I heard I thought that England was doing well against Sri Lanka so there's no need for you to change sides. How are you at bowling? We may need some help there.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#6
Well to be honest I'm not because of 2 main issues.

1. The only thing I had in common with my ex wife was that neither of us were interested in cock.

2. My poop shute is a one way street.

Now after my last, rather pathetic, attempt at getting a no commitment shag has anyone got any ideas?
Sex change is the only way for you I'm afraid. Pick a nice feminine name such as Horace.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#7
Swerve it, I've got a gay mate, very straight acting but his dits are foul, he hasnt enough fingers and toes to count the amount of times he's pulled out of someones arse and its spat hot shit everywhere.
I feel slightly ill now!
 
#9
B and T.
You've got over 7 thousand posts on here which is admirable.
BUT that could be 7 thousand posts of pure sex pest on some slut site.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#10
B and T.
You've got over 7 thousand posts on here which is admirable.
BUT that could be 7 thousand posts of pure sex pest on some slut site.
You mean this isn't one?
 
#13
Token gayer on the piss, always good for attracting very fit straight burds'
He is a fucking wretch, handsome cunt though and could pull in the frozen food section at Aldi's. Load of us went to London for the weekend once, all couples (piss boring) and he brought his new squeeze with him, about 8 in the morning I was banging on everyones door to see if anyone wanted to come to scran and he poked his head out to tell me to fuck off, I poked my head in the room and was met with the vile odour of stale sweat, Armani Code mixed with the shit fuelled funk of two well used bottoms that nearly put me off my pile of hash browns
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#17
Well to be honest I'm not because of 2 main issues.

1. The only thing I had in common with my ex wife was that neither of us were interested in cock.

2. My poop shute is a one way street.

Now after my last, rather pathetic, attempt at getting a no commitment shag has anyone got any ideas?
You can always replace her. Ask Northern Monkey for tips on how to snap up a good internet deal. Either that or pucker up big fella...you're only gay if you push back!
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#18
Try the Facebook numbers game. It's a sure fire way to get a fuck with a half decent looking bird.

It's pretty simple. Type a girls name into the search box, Laura for example, scroll down, and use the 'poke' function to attract the attention of any that look like honeys. Do this as many times as you can be arsed, it will probably only take you a few mins to 'poke' 100 or so good looking Lauras.

From here it's simply a game of basic maths. Out of the hundred Lauras you poke, maybe five will reply with a recipricol poke or message saying 'who the fuck are you?' Out of these five, statistically one of them will be a desperate bunny boiler looking for someone to plant their seed up her clam.

So to conclude, a few minutes of 'poking' a day, will pay big dividends, it's a simple numbers game. My oppo has been doing it literally everyday for years and he always has a different fit as fuck, but slightly mental bird hanging off his arm. It probably helps that he has a Porsche, but the principle is the same.
 
#19
Your non-interest in cock is academic. Get yourself some camp femme hermer who only likes to take not give, that way you'll be noshed for eternity and any talk of reciprocated anal will never ever be muttered.

Every hole's a goal!
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#20
Try the Facebook numbers game. It's a sure fire way to get a fuck with a half decent looking bird.

It's pretty simple. Type a girls name into the search box, Laura for example, scroll down, and use the 'poke' function to attract the attention of any that look like honeys. Do this as many times as you can be arsed, it will probably only take you a few mins to 'poke' 100 or so good looking Lauras.

From here it's simply a game of basic maths. Out of the hundred Lauras you poke, maybe five will reply with a recipricol poke or message saying 'who the fuck are you?' Out of these five, statistically one of them will be a desperate bunny boiler looking for someone to plant their seed up her clam.

So to conclude, a few minutes of 'poking' a day, will pay big dividends, it's a simple numbers game. My oppo has been doing it literally everyday for years and he always has a different fit as fuck, but slightly mental bird hanging off his arm. It probably helps that he has a Porsche, but the principle is the same.
I gave up doing that once they started threatening me with the police. Maybe I need a Porsche.
 

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