Thingy on the news about half an hour ago - No doubt Vaan will find it.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The_Snail, Aug 17, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. A thingy about letting people loose on looters and right nasty people.

    Imagine the scene.

    17 year old kicking off (With a hoody on) and nicking stuff and just generally being a tit.

    Me: Oy fucko, what are you doing?

    17YO: I is nicking this innit.

    Me: I don't fucking thing so sunshine.

    17YO: Well I is well hard innit.

    Me: Put it back, or fear my wrath. Trust me -- do not fuck with me or the ginger dog. I've got a headache that will kill a civvy and a bloke in one fell swoop and I can't find my lighter.

    17YO: I don't see no dog man - Jesus - what is that smell?

    Me: Never mess with me, or the Pipster. Now put it back.

    17YO: It's back. It's back, do not let it near me.

    Me: I'll take you back to your mum shall I?

    17YO: Yes please.
  2. Have you been swilling the Toilet Duck again Dale?
  3. Indy. Not today. Show me the knitting needle.

    And your pants.
  4. No, you have a Ninja ginga dog
  5. Never mess with the ginger dog. It snores.

    I'd be ace at PCSO though.

    "Errm - I don't think so sunshine"

    "Wot, innit"

    "Do not test my patience (straight face on)."

    "Yeah well a big boy said"

    "How interesting - back to your mum - chop chop - she'll be happy - not."

    Note to all chavs - never mess with me when I have a headache or a dog. You will lose.

  6. i've seen a pic of your fleabitten dog somewhere. maybe it's time to take rover to the laundromat.
  7. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    In all seriousness I doubt if chav central would happen here in gods waiting room. I expect that if push came to shove and they tried breaking into my place the sound of a pump action shotgun racking back and a call to wake the gimp would put them off.
    I did consider tooling up for my last foray north of Haywards heath but figured that I would get nicked instead.
    I can always pick up a newspaper and harumph behind its pages instead.
  8. I take no prisoners you know that.
  9. Oooh and a Mail would be nice if it's no bother.
  10. It's a bit early for crystal meth, even for you.
  11. Eat me- shithouse:
    Fucking skiprats xxx

    Tell everyone how ginger you are toilet teeth xx

    Then kiss my arrse mighty man.

    Psst, he's tiny, and short.



  12. I am many things but ginger? that is an insult too far. You are dead to me.