Thingy on the news about half an hour ago - No doubt Vaan will find it.

#1
A thingy about letting people loose on looters and right nasty people.

Imagine the scene.

17 year old kicking off (With a hoody on) and nicking stuff and just generally being a tit.

Me: Oy fucko, what are you doing?

17YO: I is nicking this innit.

Me: I don't fucking thing so sunshine.

17YO: Well I is well hard innit.

Me: Put it back, or fear my wrath. Trust me -- do not fuck with me or the ginger dog. I've got a headache that will kill a civvy and a bloke in one fell swoop and I can't find my lighter.

17YO: I don't see no dog man - Jesus - what is that smell?

Me: Never mess with me, or the Pipster. Now put it back.

17YO: It's back. It's back, do not let it near me.

Me: I'll take you back to your mum shall I?

17YO: Yes please.
 
#3
#5
No, you have a Ninja ginga dog
Never mess with the ginger dog. It snores.

I'd be ace at PCSO though.

"Errm - I don't think so sunshine"

"Wot, innit"

"Do not test my patience (straight face on)."

"Yeah well a big boy said"

"How interesting - back to your mum - chop chop - she'll be happy - not."

Note to all chavs - never mess with me when I have a headache or a dog. You will lose.

Badly.
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#6
i've seen a pic of your fleabitten dog somewhere. maybe it's time to take rover to the laundromat.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#7
In all seriousness I doubt if chav central would happen here in gods waiting room. I expect that if push came to shove and they tried breaking into my place the sound of a pump action shotgun racking back and a call to wake the gimp would put them off.
I did consider tooling up for my last foray north of Haywards heath but figured that I would get nicked instead.
I can always pick up a newspaper and harumph behind its pages instead.
 
#8
In all seriousness I doubt if chav central would happen here in gods waiting room. I expect that if push came to shove and they tried breaking into my place the sound of a pump action shotgun racking back and a call to wake the gimp would put them off.
I did consider tooling up for my last foray north of Haywards heath but figured that I would get nicked instead.
I can always pick up a newspaper and harumph behind its pages instead.
I take no prisoners you know that.
 
#9
Oooh and a Mail would be nice if it's no bother.
 
#11
Eat me- shithouse:
It's a bit early for crystal meth, even for you.
Fucking skiprats xxx

Tell everyone how ginger you are toilet teeth xx

Then kiss my arrse mighty man.

Psst, he's tiny, and short.

BRING IT XXX

Midget.
 
#12
Eat me- shithouse:

Fucking skiprats xxx

Tell everyone how ginger you are toilet teeth xx

Then kiss my arrse mighty man.

Psst, he's tiny, and short.

BRING IT XXX

Midget.

I am many things but ginger? that is an insult too far. You are dead to me.
 
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