Things youll never hear...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Random_Task, Nov 29, 2005.

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  1. This will either flop or do rather well.

    Something along the lines of things you'll never hear whilst serving, for example :

    RSM : "It's ok lads, sleep in tomorow, it is a sunday after all, and you were up till 4 am drinking.."


    "Don't bother cleaning your gats tonight,we'll only be firing them again tomorow."
  2. don't worry about polishing your boots, they'll only get muddy again!
  3. The Unit will deploy at 1400 instead of 0200 as previously stated.
  4. You will get you pay soon
  5. RSM "I'm sorry lad, I didn't mean to shout, didn't realise you had a headache. Its only drill, it doesn't matter, Shall I come back later or leave it till tomorrow? OK Tomorrow it is!"

    TCB "OK, I Admit it, there were no WMDs, GW and I made it up for something to do!"

    Glasgow "Here is your pay sir, all correct and please may I take this oppotunity to apologise for mesisng ti up in the past, It won't happen again"
  6. SPSI: "Fcuk off home lads, I'll clean that gimpy."
  7. Glasgow: "you're absolutely right, you HAVE been a bit shafted on promotion! here, you're promoted - and this is your backpay and seniority to go with it!"
  8. Its ok we dont need you for christmas duties you were in Iraq last year and you were duty the year before
  9. MOD: OK lads, what do you need to do the job?
    Lads: X,Y and 20,000 Z.
    MOD: No Prob, have it with you by tomorrow. Are you sure 20,000 z's are enough? Here you go, have 30K! best give you a few V&W too; just to be on the safe side.
  10. Glasgow: That's right...I'm sending you replacements for all the gapped posts in your Bn. None of them will have to deploy for 2 years.
  11. TTB (That Twat Blair): We have decided that instead of defense cuts we are going to cut back on the number of commitments around the world and I will stop promising George that he can have as many of our soldiers as he wants.
  12. "Just lock the main gate tonight, no need to dikc someone for stag, if it's urgent, they'll phone..."

    "we've layed on extra hot water in the ablutions block.."
  13. CO: "RSM what the hell are those men doing PT for. Its raining and its December. See that somebody opens the bar"


    Tom: "I say chaps that 48hour guard duty was so much fun. I cant wait until next month"
  14. dont worry lads i will pick up the brass.
  15. You didn't get six months notice for your posting, oh well in that case you can stay where you until something more convenient comes up.