Things you use to do as a kid to annoy or be cruel to others

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  1. This thread is dedicated to our memories, and the cruelty we inflicted on others.

    Some of my ones as a pointer

    I once convinced my Cousin her name was not 'Emma', It caused my uncle and aunt all kinds of problems convincing her it was


    I told my nephews that coy carp, could dislocate there jaws and eat things whol such as small boys. I them shown them a tape of a great white shark, devouring so bait when it was dangled over the side of the boat.
    Next time the youngest played up, i grabbed his ankle and dangled him over the pond in the garden.
    He still has nightmare even now, and that happend over 5 years ago.

    What are some yours?
  2. I used to play "Cowboy and Indian" and was invariably the Indian tribe chief, proceeding to bind my cousin to the totem pole, to torture her.

    Nuff said.

    She's never forgiven me. :twisted:
  3. I had a kind of pal called Gavin Garside as a kid, he was the lad you called for when noone else was playing.

    Short ugly and fat but a treat to pick on and make miserable.

    In the summer holidays I was allowed to put my two man tent up in the garden and have pals stay over........ I thought it was awesome and it gave my mum and dad chance to get stuck up each other without me interupting :D

    When no proper friends were available I got Gavin to Stay over and I would devise new methods of making him cry / storm off home sulking.

    One evening developed into a dead leg and dead arm competition, only he wasn't allowed a go, i just malletted him until he wanted to go home..... he gathered his stuff into a pillow case and decided I was a bully and wanted to leave.

    Me being the cnut I was put my cowboy boots in my pillow case and waited at the bottom of the alley for him, he came speeding past on his BMX and got the treat square in his kisser.....he went flying and yelped in a similar way a dog does when you stand on its legs. I of course ran away back to the tent and pretended to be asleep, content that I'd made his life considerably more miserable. The poor fcuker had done nothing wrong, he just invited cruelness by his very looks.

    His parent were friends of my parents and he was in the remedial class for everythign at school and his mum and dad never believed any of his bullying stories.

    He got home that night and couldn't get in the house because his mum and dad had gone to bed... he got another hiding off his dad for arsing about.
  4. As kids we used to play a game in Science called “No Noise”….

    The rules were simple you could to do anything you wanted to the other person with the sole purpose of inflicting as much pain as possible. However they weren’t aloud to make any noise at all, if they alerted the eastern european hippo we had for chemistry teacher (a Chernobyl by-product) they lost.

    There was 3 of us that were hardcore “No Noise” gladiators and being invited to join in was considered an honour and a right of passage into the “it gang”. Although nobody really got chance to refuse because invitations were sent via a well aimed jab to the thigh from a ready sharpened HB pencil :D

    The element of surprise was always the favoured tactic, waiting until your victim was preoccupied then landing a precise wrap across the knuckles with a metal ruler…. that normally forced a whimper from even the most seasoned No Noise competitor.

    The game would progress to heating up iron fillings with a bunsen burner and tipping them onto your challengers forearm, to dropping 1kg weights on fingers!

    We put a lump of magnesium ribbon in Steven Whalens rucksack and set it alight.... whilst he was wearing it... now he did squeal a bit, well rather alot... so i reckon he lost but on appeal he reckons because the pain wasnt direct it didnt count. He shut up when i booted him square in the swingers though.:D
  5. RTFQ


    When I started a new school, I told them I could do tattoos in order to make friends and appear dangerously attractive to the rounders team. I used to heat up the point of a set of compasses, dip it in a ptri dish containing fountain pen ink (it was a posh school before I got there) and 'ink' my classmates. I was shite at it, my worst being an attempt to create Heather Locklear from TJ Hooker on the arm of the chess club president. I got as far as doing her left breast and one NYPD collar before he ran off blubbing. The best bit was the fact I convinced everyone that the tattoos would only work if they had decent muscle mass in their arms, so the lads berated themselves if it came out wrong.
  6. I used to live with a girl who had a couple of kids (ginger twin boys, about 5 yrs old). When she wasn't around, I'd spend my time teaching them new words but telling them they meant other things.

    My triumph was persuading them that the word "vulgar" meant "beautiful", like when applied to Grandma's Christmas Tree.

    Another relationship that didn't last . . .
  7. We had a phase at school with a particularly limp teacher of saying "Sperm" instead of "Sir".

    The idea was to be louder than the individual before you until hilarity ruled and the lesson ground to a halt.

    The game caused much humour and reached a pinnacle when one chap stood up and clear as a bell (and very loudly) yelled "Sperm".

    Still makes me laugh, although you did need to be there to really appreciate it!!
  8. Farting in class, then looking at a victim who could be guaranteed to blush and get the blame.

    Dipping cotton balls in volatile liquids (ether and chloroform were favourites) before igniting them and throwing them at others.
  9. a kid up my street called danny used to be used for everything from ramp holder when we were playing evel kenievel to a barricade during mud fights.

    after a particularly hard day for danny, during which i had run his fingers over with my my grifter trying to jump 13 other kids, and he'd nearly been burnt alive in a grass camp we'd accidentaly torched while he was still in it.. a game of war ensued over the local woods ... and danny was picked as our sniper, there was a lot of fly tipping in these woods, and i persuaded danny that the ideal place for his hide would be in a festering pile of builders waste and household rubbish as no one else would ever think of hiding there, so i liberally applied some "local cam" to him and he ended up looking like the f*cking tin man from the wizard of oz .... then janet his mum turned up


    the only words i can think of to describe janet are "fu-cking" and "mental" ... and seeing her little soldier covered with corrugated cardboard, pie dishes and a saucepan on his head didn't put her in a good mood i can tell you ... i believe the childhood phrase for what she did next was "gave us a legger" all the way back through the woods screaming at the top of her mental voice while we tried to trip each other up, and stop giggling long enough to find a decent hiding place.

    when she dragged her podgy offspring around to my parents later that evening... to fully impress on them how bad i was she made danny stay as i'd dressed him .... my old man thought the fair was in town.

    after a cursory b0llocking at the front door my old man dragged me through to the back kitchen

    and p1ssed his sides laughing for about 20 minutes :D

    the problem is ... danny is now a double hard f*cker who's mates are a couple of yardie crack dealers, oh how we laugh (nervously) about our childhood exploits, but strangely enough i dont bring that particular story up.
  10. I'd have put money on Cait being vindictive, spiteful monster at school, but of recent weeks I've lost enough in that department so have shut up :D

    We played a similar game but called it 'Silence' My favourite implement was the mallet shaped bit of kit in the woodwork room with a spike in it for scribing a line.

    A tap from one of those on a knee or elbow resulted in a loud squeal and I never met a person who could hack indirectly making me the king

  11. In the senior year at school, I managed to convince this small, naive little 13 year old scrote that having a wank with deep heat made the entire experience much more pleasurable.

    Next evening the TV room was full (something involving killing the french was on), only to be interrupted by one of the most bone-chilling (excuse the pun) screams from the first year dorm that any of us had ever heard. When the teacher on duty, one of the most eccentric blokes I've ever met, came waddling in to discover the cause and managed to get the story out of the sobbing runt who was curled up in the corner in the foetal position, he spent the next 1/2 hour pishing himself laughing and then gave me a beer for initiative!
  12. Another one of mine was heating a metal rule with a soldering iron and playing burn the longest,

    Basically as described we heated a metal rule with a iron, then see who could hold it on there hand the longest.

    Fine i hear you say

    Shame the guy the trick was played on was always the same guy, yes we has our iron plugged in, but we had no fuses in the plug so ours never heated up.

    His did

    Seen him about 3 years ago and he still has a scar on his hand from the game!!
  13. I told my sister to close her eyes and I would give her a surprise! I cut her eyelashes off, my fcuking mother still goes on about it.

    I was looking after the dull white rabbit from school during the holidays, I painted it red and blue! Was NEVER allowed to look after a school pet again.

    I convinced my sister that ghosts only haunted people with curly hair, showed her some horror films frightened her enough for her to cut off her hair!!

    Some of the games as kids??

    We used to play ring a bell run, black and nastying ALL the doorbells on the German occupied flats and run like hell......

    Why as children was there always a 'witches' house in the neighbourhood, the one house that ALL the kids were frightened to go near for fear of being taken/eaten/changed into something. Not only did a witch live in the house, the house was ALWAYS haunted.
  14. Poor old Gavin Garside bore the brunt of the big boys wrath from being four to the day he left school, in fact later, i recall pulling his pants down in a club whislt on leave from Junior leaders.

    We used to heat coins up with bunsen burners and drop them in his pockets.

    Due to only being small and a wee bit behind the rest in the development area, when it came to PT he would get changed in the bogs rather than the changing rooms and be outside earleir than the rest of us that were comfortable with our four strands of armpit hair and partially dropped bollocks...

    This resulted in us grabbing his school bag and uniform and leaving them in the shower....

    He caught on eventually, got changed, doubled to the other end of the school to put his kit in his locker....... he then got bounced around the rugby pitch for being late.

    I can vividly remember him crying to the PT teacher when we played murder ball 'Sir I haven't even touched the ball and I've had my head kicked in'

    Gavin is now a hotel owner in Skipton and apparently driving a porshe.... Ugly wife but it doesn't look like we did him any lastign harm, despite our best efforts.
  15. Once also convined a mate that rabbit were like sheep, and that i could shear his rabbit.

    As you might expect thing didnt out to plan.

    The rabbit died of shock, and all i had was a stripey rabbit, as i was using at the time a single blade razor which i had nicked from my dads shaver.

    Mate was servely peed off, but for gave me when i handed him his first jazz mag, nicked from my dads collection.