Things you still do.

#1
Things you did when serving that you feel you still must do even though you are now a civvy. Here's a few of mine.

Must have a scrape in the morning.
Always hang my kit facing left.
Never, ever be late. 5 mins before agreed time.
Get kit ready evening before.
Always make sure car is fully tanked.

Come on lads, lets hear from you. I can't be the only one that "suffers" from after service behavior.
 
#2
polish boots - all boots
press kit - all kit
tell people they're out of step
say "NFI"
indicate rather than point
be first in the pub and last to leave
 
#4
Oh dear now heres a can of worms : :D always ask people on the phone or even to their face to "wait one" look with longing and deep love at my danner boots and even wore them on a long distance bimble at work (lake district),shave, neck shave ,and creases you can cut bread with on all shirts 8O oh lordy i'm getting wood :twisted:
 
#5
bustersboy said:
Oh dear now heres a can of worms : :D always ask people on the phone or even to their face to "wait one" look with longing and deep love at my danner boots and even wore them on a long distance bimble at work (lake district),shave, neck shave ,and creases you can cut bread with on all shirts 8O oh lordy i'm getting wood :twisted:
I always set the alarm for 06.30 scratch me nuts, think about all the lads on an early run, smile then hit the snooze button and get up at 0700.
 
#7
My Mrs is laughing, because my after service behaviour means that I have to do all the ironing in our house or it doesn't get done to the required standard. She's even given up pairing socks because she can't do that properly!

Still feel uncomfortable eating dinner in sports kit.
Won't nosey park my motor.
Always use 'say again' rather than pardon.

I could go on and the wife could go on longer.
Half the blokes at work are ex mob and all the same. The other half spend their lives in despair.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
Wank in my bedspace
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#11
#12
Skive off from work at about midday on Fridays.

Get dressed in sports kit on Wednesday afternoons for no reason.
 
#13
"Say again" on phone and during conversations to bemused civvys and the occasional smile from an Ex seviceman/woman and "Seen" to the wife/daughter when items of interest (To them :D.) are pointed out.
 
#14
skintboymike said:
I can't find the link, but trust me when I say this has been done to death.
you are right - it has!


You know you've been Defence institutionalised (Made military) when...You use target indication to point out hot chicks...

You use the term 'chicks'

You insist on dancing like a dick, whilst your civvie mates insist on trying to dance 'properly'.

Your civvie mates don't understand any of the terminology you use such as 'no dramas', 'squared away', 'take a knee' etc....

You can't help saying "Roger", "Say again" and other snappy bits of VP

You use acronyms thinking your civvie mates will understand what you are talking about

You don't have any civvie mates....

You cringe, and mutter under your breath 'haircut', when you see men with long hair.

You walk at a ridiculous pace and are physically incapable of walking at the shopping pace of your girlfriend.

You refer to personal organisation as "admin"

Your girlfriend is stored in your mobile phone address book as 'Zero Alpha'

You use patrol hand signals in a night club if people can't hear you

You always use the 24 hour clock....

Nothing soldiers do shocks you any more....

You can't watch war movies without giving a running commentary.

People in prison have more contact with women than you do....

Whenever you spell something out you use the phonetic alphabet....

You don't trust your mum/wife/girlfriend/any woman to iron your kit because deep down you think that your ironing is better....

You point using your whole hand in a karate chop motion....

You find that the conversation somehow always comes back round to you, because you're more interesting than most topics of conversation....

You think not shaving is a treat....

You get really irritated when people you don't know call you 'mate'....

You can read a junk mail catalogue from cover to cover and refer to everything that is useful as a Gucci bit of kit.

You refer to smoke as 'a double edged sword'.


You spend hours wondering where in civvie street you can get an equal disposable income and at least 6 weeks holiday a year, by completing an inversely proportionally tiny amount of tangible work

Your blood boils when you see civvies wearing DPM.

Going out on Thursday "international army night out" wherever it may be,or whichever course one is on, involves forming the ring-of-steel, talking about ourselves and the army and aggressively staring at girls; who if they don't immediately come over are obviously lesbians.

Should any man dare break this ritual, and despite talking to the prettiest of girls - as we would like to do, if it weren't for the fact we tend to chew our own tongues and dribble - he is clearly gay!

You come out in a cold sweat if you find yourself still working after lunch on a Friday....

You have to stop work at 10am for NAAFI break or else you might not make it to lunch....

At least half of your DVD collection are war movies....

Even though your disposable income is twice that of a civvie you still manage to spend it all, every month, with nothing to show for it, about a week after you've told all your soldiers that you 'can't believe how much money they waste on the urine'....

You feel guilty about wearing jeans in front of senior officers in the mess

The sight of rolling countryside makes you scan for 'enemy depth'....

You think that eating every meal for a week with the same spoon that you licked clean and kept in the pocket of the same shirt you've worn all week is perfectly normal....

All of your food has to be prepared by a chef because you're incapable of cooking anything that can't either be boiled in a bag or eaten cold....

You lie when people ask you what you do for a living....

When leaving your phone number on a voice message you can't just give it once, has to be repeated.

When surveying open ground (when not looking for enemy in depth) you think, good tank country. If a forestry block - I could get a platoon in here

You survey open ground.

When you are pointing out some natural feature you begin with "Reference bushy topped tree etc etc"

Your girlfriend has started saying "admin" and gave you the "Chop" when telling you to put the bin out.

When meeting mates in a pub you always turn up 5 minutes early and are secretly angry that nobody else has.....Worse still, if it's a venue you haven't been to before, you turn up 15 minutes early to put in a CTR, in order that you are definitely there 5 minutes early.

You subconsciously red-pen everything you read.
 
#16
terdal said:
Things you did when serving that you feel you still must do even though you are now a civvy. Here's a few of mine.

Must have a scrape in the morning.
Always hang my kit facing left.
Never, ever be late. 5 mins before agreed time.
Get kit ready evening before.
Always make sure car is fully tanked.

Come on lads, lets hear from you. I can't be the only one that "suffers" from after service behavior.
And this crud is better than my threads how? :roll:
 
#17
Dildo my own anus with whatever is lying around.

Wear an S6 or S10 for sex

Wear highly bulled ammo boots and medals for church on Sunday

Steal from the drying room

and I still break into training depots to suck off young trainee soldiers as they sleep
 
#19
I can continue the conversation I last had with a mate 30 years ago.

When I ask a mate to go drinking I don’t care if he has any money

There is a bed for a mate whenever he wants one, even though he’ll drink all my booze, make a pass at the misses and swamp his pit.

When a civvi gives an opinion on military matters I just smile and turn away

I take the p1ss and expect it in return

I’ll have the most violent argument over fcuk all while still getting the beers in.

I’ll give any young soldier the benefit of my wisdom and pretend not to notice his eyes glazing over.

I’ll drop my trousers for no apparent reason.

I’ll call the RAF all the names under the sun but if a civvi tries to do the same I’ll tell him to fcuk off.

If a mates in trouble I’ll drop everything and drive anywhere to help him.

If a mate dies I will get sh1tters at his funeral and tell everyone what a w4nker he was until the tears take over.

I wont let a mate down because that’s what civvies do.

When a kid asks how many I’ve killed I say “Fcuking hundreds I was in the ACC”

If a copper’s bollocking me I brace up.

If I could, I’d do it all over again.
 
#20
billy.winky said:
terdal said:
Things you did when serving that you feel you still must do even though you are now a civvy. Here's a few of mine.

Must have a scrape in the morning.
Always hang my kit facing left.
Never, ever be late. 5 mins before agreed time.
Get kit ready evening before.
Always make sure car is fully tanked.

Come on lads, lets hear from you. I can't be the only one that "suffers" from after service behavior.
And this crud is better than my threads how? :roll:
Don't get me wrong, it's a good topic. Worthy, if memory serves me, of a place in Now That's What I call ARRSE. It's just that it's been done already, and after a quick scan through the original thread you find all these witty answers already. (Someone please post a link, I'm sh*t and can't find it.)

You are to thread topics what Josef Fritzl is to childcare.
 

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