Things you should nt have said to her "afterwards"

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aleegee1698, Jan 14, 2011.

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  1. I remember as a young strapping lad of 20 years doing some bird who was probably 38-40 yrs old. (The Ship Thorney Island/ Sammys Bar Gütersloh ?) After laying in the prone-position with her for about (in those days) 2.5 minutes, she started off with the feminate "how was it for you" etc, to which I romantically answered, "fuck me, youre old enough to be my mother", before calling a taxi. I think her (faked) orgasm was somewhat tainted by my comments, and I feel guilty cos I m now in the same age-area.

    What was your worst/best "roll-over" speech afterwards?
     
  2. "Hahaha, that was hilarious when I farted, wasn't it? It was like 'paaaaahhhrp'."

    Said last night to my girlfriend.
     
  3. Shuuushh a minute...... 14th June 1982 (It was dark in FRG at the time too) BFBS on in the background on the wireless
     
  4. I tend to keep my one-liners strictly in my head in the hope of not screwing up the opportunity for a return game, but sometimes the ladies can provide all the witticisms you need. A Bulgarian friend of mine that used to work in the fashion industry could not help but comment on the beauty of other women at every opportunity. Anyway we got it together rather spectacularly a few months ago and after putting in quite the performance on top she rolls off, tried to catch her breath and as soon as she has regained the ability to speak coherently panted: “So, do you still think I’m a lesbian?”

    That made me chuckle. She was in my good books anyway because her accent makes me feel like James Bond. :-b
     
  5. Having pulled a looker by my standards (4.5/10), managed to get her back to her flat and do the deed. She rolls over and asks me, as I've told her I'm Army (*ahem* TA), whether I have a gun in my house.
    "No", I reply. "I've got two" and flexed me biceps. She had the grace to laugh her head off. Failed to secure round two and I left.
     
  6. Get out of my bed if we get caught we really will be in the shit.
     
  7. Are you stalking me...........??

    Are you the 4.5 outta 10, or her? That she "rolled over" must be telling you something.You are an absolute zero in bed, "a gun in the house", obviously refering to shorts/longs, I ve got an FH70 in my bedroom.............
     
  8. I hope the kids will have short memories, ' cause I do.





    Father of 10....or was that 14.....
     
  9. Mr Tigger, you lion, sorry that I ask, but were you perchance an Officer??!!
     
  10. If we had a Chinese, why does my cock smell of curry ?
     
  11. ......and who the feck are you, anyway????
     
  12. only you will know, you lucky bastard.............
     
  13. squeekingsapper

    squeekingsapper LE Reviewer

    Amongst my worst has to be

    "Now your sperm count is definitley higher than mine" or "marginally better than a wank".
     
  14. I did once say something along these lines once... probably the most drunk state I have ever been, I went to say his name...then realised I had totally forgotten it and had to awkwardly ask...whatsmore next day I had to dig out my map of the city point out where he was and how he could get home...

    The most awkward thing I've ever said to a guy myself has got to be the immortal line "is it in yet?" - he was not a happy bunny at that one...
     
  15. Bit off topic but mmm babies heads I was up to the same thing at the same time. Oddly I was recording the play "joe egg" on radio 4 at the time for her and it was interupted with a news flash saying white flags seen over stanley. Hardly broke step, pausing only to think of a few of you who are now reading this had gone through hell to get there. Still I had a job to finish and even though the news was better than recalling the 1966 world cup squad I was about five minutes from driving her home when my dad burst into my room to tell me the news! Never gave her the tape, still play it now and again. Means so much to me on so many levels. Ho and My dad had burst in on me with the same girl to tell me the Iranian embassy was being stormed. Wonder now if he just wanted an excuse to look the old perv.