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Things you only do once

minniemouse

Clanker
Oh Bigbird, should have done the sensible thing and just booked a c section with the attitude of too posh to push!!!!!! Leaves everything intact and still as pretty as a picture :tongue:
 
what...and have a nasty big scar ruining the line of my stretch marks!!!!!!
 

sea-king

Old-Salt
Put right hand on GPMG barrel that has just had 10 billion rounds pushed through it, then drive a 438 on a night march across the entire Batus area.
Try driving one of them feckers with your left hand and your right one in a bucket of water. :razz: All fecking night!!
 
Watched my Mrs Taffridge getting sewn up after her episiotomy, not squeamish but got an almighty bollocking for the "Put an extra stitch" line to the german doc so I wont be doin that again
 

lancslad

War Hero
Moving swiftly on from the episiotomy topic... can remember Mrs. lancslad having one some years back and it made my eyes water then - mind you she was trying to push out something the size of a small watermelon at the same time :biggrin:

But I digress... another thing you should do only once is play connect 4 for money/drinks/sexual favours with any of the bar girls working in Bangkok or Pattaya... you will never win - got more chance of the bird with the big hands not having a c0ck :shock:

lancslad
 

Issimondias

Old-Salt
Try to run through things.

1. the stud partition wall in the Jock Nag bar in Ballykelly, success!

2. A fire door in the NAAFI in Aldergrove, head went through mesh reinforced window panel, still got scars and had to pay for replacemnt glazing. not a success.

Oh, yeah and trying to get a breath of fresh air in an extremely smoky room on the first floor, by standing on the window sill, and then falling off the window sill and knackering your back for ages.
 

taff_dee

Old-Salt
Swamp_Rat said:
He really should have known better, having taken the bedside light bulb out the night before and shoved his finger in the socket.

ive done this when trying to repair the fooking lamp which me and my brother broke playing rugby in our mums living room wont be doing that again
 

numbered_3

Old-Salt
Issimondias said:
Try to run through things.

1. the stud partition wall in the Jock Nag bar in Ballykelly, success!

2. A fire door in the NAAFI in Aldergrove, head went through mesh reinforced window panel, still got scars and had to pay for replacemnt glazing. not a success.

Oh, yeah and trying to get a breath of fresh air in an extremely smoky room on the first floor, by standing on the window sill, and then falling off the window sill and knackering your back for ages.
You my friend, are a legend :D
 
Hats off, indeed.

Imagine the exclamation when the paddy glazier arrives to see a head-shaped hole in the wired glass; "Whale oil beef hooked!".
 
numbered_3 said:
Issimondias said:
Try to run through things.

1. the stud partition wall in the Jock Nag bar in Ballykelly, success!

2. A fire door in the NAAFI in Aldergrove, head went through mesh reinforced window panel, still got scars and had to pay for replacemnt glazing. not a success.

Oh, yeah and trying to get a breath of fresh air in an extremely smoky room on the first floor, by standing on the window sill, and then falling off the window sill and knackering your back for ages.
You my friend, are a legend :D

Not a great idea but if you put on your body armour and helmet you can make it through the walls in the Ritze Hotel up at the Airport in Basrah. Although he did nearly break his arm doing it.
 

bob_lawlaw

Old-Salt
1968 - Ord. Sgt. duty as a newly arrived RAF PJI to close the NAAFI Club in Aldershot on a Friday night. I wondered at the time why there were so many RMP l/r's in the vicinity and why they were discussing betting.

That no 2 dress of mine sits alongside Cheshire VC's flying kit in the RAF museum at Hendon.
 
Being from a disadvantaged family in inner city Liverpool in the 70's we had to take our washing to the local launderette. I'd put the washing in and set it off. Half way through the cycle the machine stopped, I'd seen the assistant lift the top off the machine and move the timer on. There was no one in the shop when it happened so little E_M thought I'd move it on myself, lifted the top of the machine and touched what I thought was the dial, turned out to be the live motor!!!! my hair stood on end (in the days when I had hair) the motor blew a hole in my thumb and the shock threw me across the room. My so called mates thought it was hilarious and asked me to do it again - the bastids!! :outlet:
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
Leave incriminating photo's in unlocked office drawer, fcuk of to BATUS, and give wife permission to collect mail etc from said office.

I have since remarried
 

veritas

Old-Salt
Over heat wax from a roll on waxer when doing the bikini line. Gave myself First, second and Third degree burns from where it landed and as it ran down my thigh cooling down. Since then I use wax strips.
 

chrisg46

LE
Book Reviewer
bobath said:
numbered_3 said:
Issimondias said:
Try to run through things.

1. the stud partition wall in the Jock Nag bar in Ballykelly, success!

2. A fire door in the NAAFI in Aldergrove, head went through mesh reinforced window panel, still got scars and had to pay for replacemnt glazing. not a success.

Oh, yeah and trying to get a breath of fresh air in an extremely smoky room on the first floor, by standing on the window sill, and then falling off the window sill and knackering your back for ages.
You my friend, are a legend :D

Not a great idea but if you put on your body armour and helmet you can make it through the walls in the Ritze Hotel up at the Airport in Basrah. Although he did nearly break his arm doing it.

Broke his camera though. Has the video made youtube yet?
 

crabnomore

War Hero
Fcuk girlfriends mate, on the night your girlfriend tells you she's pregnant. Then a month later Fcuk her sister.
Still amazed I've got me testicles attached
 

chemystery

Old-Salt
crabnomore said:
Fcuk girlfriends mate, on the night your girlfriend tells you she's pregnant. Then a month later Fcuk her sister.
Still amazed I've got me testicles attached

Misread this at first...thought it said fcuked mates girlfriend and was gonna call you a cnut...having re-read...I doth my cap :thumleft:
 

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