THINGS YOU KNOW IF YOU OWN A AK 47 / AR 15 / Mosin Nagant

Discussion in 'Shooting, Hunting and Fishing' started by Bilbo-K, May 23, 2012.

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  1. [TABLE]
    [TR]
    [TD="colspan: 3"][/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD]AK-47
    [/TD]
    [TD]AR15 / M16
    [/TD]
    [TD]Mosin-Nagant
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]It works even though you seldom clean it.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]It works as long as you buy the $9/ounce special non-detergent synthetic teflon infused oil.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]It was last cleaned before entering Berlin in 1945.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]You can hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You can hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You can hit the farm from the adjacent county.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Cheap magazines are readily available.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Cheap magazines melt.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]What is magazine?
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Your safety is a broad lever audible 300 meters away.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]What is safety?
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle came with a cheap nylon sling.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle now has a 9-point stealth tactical suspension system.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle came with two dog collars and a leash.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle's finish is teflon and polymers.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle's finish is low-grade shellac, cosmoline, and Soviet toenail polish.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Your bayonet makes a pretty good wire cutter.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your bayonet makes a pretty good steak knife.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your bayonet is as long as your leg.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]You can mount your bayonet and intimidate your foe.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You can mount your bayonet and make your foe laugh.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving your hole.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Recoil is manageable.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]What is recoil?
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Recoil is often used to relocate a shoulder dislocated by the previous round.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Your sight adjustment goes to an uncalibrated "10", but you have never bothered changing it.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your sight adjustment is calibrated in fractions of minute of angle.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your sight adjustment goes to 1200 arshins, and you've actually tried it.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle is used by two-bit nations' illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle is used by elite forces to fight two-bit nations' illiterate conscripts worldwide.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle has fought against itself and it won every time.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]You paid $350.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You paid $900.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You paid $59.95.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]If your rifle breaks, you can repair it with a hammer.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]If your rifle breaks, you can take your rifle to a certified AR15/M16 gunsmith, if it is still under warranty.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]If your rifle breaks, it is cheapest and easiest to just buy a new one.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]You buy cheap Yugoslav ammunition by the case.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You carefully reload precision crafted rounds one at a time.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You dig your ammunition out of a Ukrainian farm field and it works just fine.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]You can change between 7.62 mm and 5.54 mm, most easily by buying a second rifle.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You can change cartridge sizes by pushing a couple of pins and installing a new upper receiver.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You know that no real man would suggest that there is anything other than 7.62x54R.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Favorite movie: Red Dawn
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Favorite movie: Black Hawk Down
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Favorite movie: Enemy at the Gates
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]You could accessorize your rifle with a new muzzle brake or a modified stock. However, Ivan Chesnokov will tell you that you should not.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle's accessories are more expensive than your already expensive rifle.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid. But it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]You would really like to have an autographed photo of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You would really like to have an autographed photo of Eugene Stoner.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]You're uncertain if there were cameras when Sergei Mosin was alive.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="align: left"]Service life: 65 years.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Service life: 49 years.
    [/TD]
    [TD="align: left"]Service life: 121 years, so far.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]
     
    • Like Like x 10
  2. Made oi larf!
     
  3. Chortle!
     
  4. Things I know from watching (American) television:

    1. A single pistol shot will cause an automobile or truck to burst into flames like Cherries Jubilee.

    2. The magazine of a typical rifle or carbine holds about ten thousand cartridges.

    3. The best thing to do, when confronted by an armed criminal, is to shoot the gun out of his hand.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. dunno
    i think the best rifle i ever had was the short magazine lee enfield
    ive seen them bashed around they still manage 2 inch groupings at 100 yards
    rimmed ammo was a pain to load quickly
    but id have it over a nagant
     
  6. davidflies

    davidflies War Hero Book Reviewer

  7. Ooooh you've done it now...
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. pokemon_slap.gif

    COME ON...SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!

    What most people forget it is not about the type of gat you have...its about your choice of footwear. Take these for example

    Tactical_Slippers.jpg

    By the way the way, I have it on good authority that this is currently under evaluation by 'them' for those ops where you absolutely musnt get the carpet dirty.
    'They' are also testing this

    Rail_Mounted_Skull.jpg

    Here is what the manufacturers claim:
    Sometimes you need more than just combat effective gear and the more obvious accessories. Sometimes you need rail-mounted awesomeness that acts as a force multiplier by virtue only of being awesomely awesome and tacticool. The rail mounted skull increases the range of modern military assault rifles by a minimum of 17.4%. It will decrease the spread of an iron sighted shot group to about half what it was (at the hundred), and if you ever run dry or suffer a malfunction or miss you can flip the rifle around sideways and scare the hell out of whomever you’ve been shooting at (though with rail mounted skull it’s hard to imagine you’d have missed in the first place).
     
  9. davidflies

    davidflies War Hero Book Reviewer

    SLR - SLR - SLR - nothing does it better, or more permanently - simple, easy to use, easy to clean, point and squeeze, ENDLIFE
     
  10. L85A2.




    Wibble
     
  11. davidflies

    davidflies War Hero Book Reviewer

    Toy gun for real soldiers who should be using the ...wait for it ...L1A1 7.62mm SLR
     
  12. Err, 7.62 x 51 mm
     
  13. He obviously used the wrong sized flannelette!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. davidflies

    davidflies War Hero Book Reviewer

    No wrong sized finger on keyboard (and edited fast - but not fast enough!)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  15. I saw an SLR in a museum once...