Things you have to force yourself not to do

The church is still coming to terms with homosexuality, it’s far too soon for ladies without hats.
A very good point. Although you'd think the church would be ahead of the curve, what with centuries of long frocks and priestly pederasty.

I was reminded of the assorted 'hat' etiquette comments on here the other evening when a fellow diner at another table removed his jacket but left his flat cap firmly in place on his head for his entire meal. It would seem that standards are slipping even in Cambridge.
 
A very good point. Although you'd think the church would be ahead of the curve, what with centuries of long frocks and priestly pederasty.

I was reminded of the assorted 'hat' etiquette comments on here the other evening when a fellow diner at another table removed his jacket but left his flat cap firmly in place on his head for his entire meal. It would seem that standards are slipping even in Cambridge.
Maybe he was a guards officer looking to have a quiet meal.
 
I sometimes have to force myself to go to a Vets Breaky sessions and order a full English...... View attachment 357462

Effete square plate and chipolatas instead of real sausages. No black pudding (or white for that matter), no deviled kidneys, no grilled tomatoes, no steak, no beans, no pint pot of tea and only one slice of toast cut at an angle like a big poofy gayer.

You wuz robbed.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
Effete square plate and chipolatas instead of real sausages. No black pudding (or white for that matter), no deviled kidneys, no grilled tomatoes, no steak, no beans, no pint pot of tea and only one slice of toast cut at an angle like a big poofy gayer.

You wuz robbed.
"Effete". I like that. I shall use it everytime I'm privately thinking "gaaaaayyy!!!"
 
Hmmm, no corduroy trousers... He was a scruffy type and needed a good shave and haircut, so was probably a genome-wrangling eccentric multi-millionaire.

I did manage to resist walking past and flipping his cap into his dinner.
I am so disappointed in you.
 
I am disappointed in myself.

I was with my sister though, and she's a proper school ma'am so can be fierce.
You should have set her on him!
 
Had to go and print a form off yesterday, so I went down to my local Library.

Now I like Libraries, always have done. As you step in there is an instant sense of moving from noise and bustle to calm, order, gravitas and knowledge.

I went up to the desk and quietly, respectfully said "Good morning, may I use one of the computers?"
The young man was just about to reply when the older woman next to him loudly butted in "Daaahling ! Certainly you may, My Love! Do you know how to login, My Sweet?" all the while waving her arms about flamboyantly.

I extricated myself from her ongoing " I'm training up this lovely apprentice Librarian" and on, and on, for the entire room to hear.

Sat down, logged in, found what I needed and started to read.
Except I couldn't because in the background was this continual drone, prattle, blah blah "....and then you fill out this form, My Cherub !" blah blah....

I put my hands over both my ears and stared at the screen but, Nope, it was still there.
And it was then I felt the red mist starting to descend. Got up and walked out before I lost my temper.

I knew I'd seen her before somewhere and eventually it came to me. A poster outside the local Playhouse / Cinema.
She was in the local Amateur Dramatic Society. Fun for children, but 99.99% of adults involved are pretentious, luvvy *********.

If some Jihadi splodybloke decided to self-detonate on a local Wednesday night rehearsal of Mother Goose, I would find it hard to register any outrage.
Hang on tiger! Sounds like you pulled...
 
I am disappointed in myself.

I was with my sister though, and she's a proper school ma'am so can be fierce.
A friend was wondering if you have any photographs of her in a crisp white shirt, a string of pearls, horn rimmed glasses, black skirt slashed to the hip, patent leather high heel shoes, fishnet stockings, and holding her cane?
 
We all must have something that we have to force ourselves not to do in real life, mine is if I see someone sitting listening to music on their phone in a public place whilst wearing a big fuck off pair of headphones, I have to force myself not to go up behind them, pull the headphones apart, shout wanker into their ear then let the headphones smack back onto both their ears, it really does take some self restraint though
Why FFS, beats the fuck out of listening to you.
 
..... Not even if she was the last woman on Earth.
Once upon a time a legover was worth putting up with all sorts of odd female behaviour.
Now I put up with nothing.

Don't get laid often, but have a peaceful life.

Wanking is underrated but not as much as spaffing in the hair of the person in front of you on the bus.
 
Wanking is underrated but not as much as spaffing in the hair of the person in front of you on the bus.
Colloquially known as Hectoring.
 

Similar threads

New Posts

Top