Things you have said without thinking!!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cancerman, Feb 20, 2010.

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  1. On dover -calais ferry once,very windy a young lady about 16 went past and the wind blew her dress up over her head she had the briefest of thongs on and a cute arse to boot! :D
    turning to the other half not thinking i said "will you look at the arse on that".........................she did not talk to me for a while!!! 8)
  2. When trying to make my way through the massed ranks of schoolchildren of various different nationalities when visiting Auschwitz the comment 'i feel like im about to be crushed to death' went down like a lead balloon.
  3. I have a friend who is a paralized after having a C-spine fracture. Shortly after they were out of hospital I walked through their front door and slipped on the laminate flooring, then said "Jesus, I nearly broke my fcuking neck" I was met by silence and shaking heads.

    Same person, I had been knealt on the floor sorting a printer, stood up, "oh sh1t dead legs, oh b0llcks cant feel my feet" just got given a withering look and told "yeah, I get that all the time".
  4. Famous Medic of Geordie extraction with an Irish surname was on exercise in the Bergen-Hohne area when he decides to take his young sidekick to see Belsen. Got there and parked in the car park and went for a look-see. The place was chocca with Jews. It turns out it's Yom Kippur. We decide to make a quiet withdrawal and come back another day. Gets to car park and there's a little crowd round the truck staring at the "Rations - No Lifts" Sign. Instead of apologies I managed to come out with 'it's OK it's empty'. Not my finest hour.
  5. Will you marry me :evil:
  6. No no, it's 'things you've said without thinking' not 'things you've said with a 12 gauge in your back'.
  7. Is it not the same :D
  8. I was chatting to a young girl student. I didn't know her at all well, not even her name. She asked me what I was doing that evening (by way of polite conversation) I said I was going to rent a film and watch it at home with some junk food.

    She: "oh, don't you download movies from the Internet?"

    Me: "Isn't that illegal?"

    She: "Yes, but it's a victimless crime."

    Me: "What, like rape?"


    Me: "Whoops"
  9. Yes I want children as well.

  10. That made me laugh moi arse off, no beverages in range though for keyboard/monitor destruction. Why the feck they get the hump over that I'll never know, fair play to you though - some day they'll get it.
  11. What, get raped?

    Own effort, said whilst concentrating on something else, comparing working at DSS with being dead and buried;

    'You're kept in the dark, immobilised by circumstances beyond your control, and surrounded by vermin'

    Guess that's why I was still on probation when I left six years later...
  12. "Yes of course your mother can come and stay"
  13. Thiink the last one was calling my other half by my exes name....

    I'm still resident in my dads spare room.......
  14. Her: does this look nice?
    Me: yes
    Her: should i try it on?
    Me: Yes
    her: does my ass look big in this?
    Me: yes...........wait what?
    silence for a few days.........bitch

    Me: you sound like your mum (she did)
    silence for another few days

    she was wearing this huge top the kind pregant chics wear
    Me: you look pregnant!
    Her: well.... i might be
    Me: is it mine?
    silence for yet another few days

    watching a film toghether she keeps asking who he is/ what she did/ what he said
    Me: shut up im trying to watch it you spastic!
    Her: we are finished!

    haha what a fun girl :)