Phrases you would rather not hear · We're sending you to 224 Signal Squadron · "You know I told you I was over sixteen ? Well..." · You've got three weeks to live · The Americans will be providing the close air support. · You're posted to Tidworth. · Your new Troop Sgt has just done P company. · Leave is cancelled. · Pick up the log. · Step off to my timings and my timings only .By the Front .. · Do you accept my award? · It's character building · I'm sorry, Sir, but I've had to remove your penis and both your testicles · We've always done it that way! · You are cordially invited to the 3 Para Mortar Platoon Rohypnol Party · My office. Now. · Move to Grid 12345678 where the helicopters will pick you up at 0300. · Do you have anything planned for leave? · It's your turn to blow the blind grenade. · OK, integrity question, did you do it? · I think it's yours · Crack, Crack, Ping, Ping, THUMP. · Sunray is down. · Breaking into double time · Taking you a stage further in your foot drill......... I left you in this position. · Reveille 05 early hours and Drill until NAAFI break. · Contact, wait..out. · Follow me, it's a short cut. · Of course the Claymore is pointing away from us...er..which way are WE pointing ? · Good effort lads, outstanding entry drills, but it's the wrong house. · Has anyone seen the enemy? Right, You! ... Draw Fire. · He's waking up, pass the KY, it's better when they fight back. · GAS GAS GAS. · The RMP are in the block. · You feature rather a lot in the Christmas duty list. · I forgot to tell you, I've got herpes · You will need this opened umbrella dragged from your piss slit · Don't make plans for the weekend · The PRE team have just come through the gates · You'll get it in theatre · Is that it? · We're all out of them, fill out all these forms and we will indent for them. · There's an Officer in here improperly dressed... · It's your round. · Too slow, do it again! · Standby.... · CDT are here?? · ONE! Two, Three, ONE!! · Mr Vice...take 5. · You're in your own time now. · My tea's a salad. · Shit rolls down hill. · Bug out!!! · Standby your beds! · You're up first. Now. · It's either cancer or penile warts. · The RSM wants your feet in his in tray NOW. · Tony needs something to whip up voter support and he's decided on another war. · Right, lads, this one's a silent breach. · Bend over. This may smart a bit! · We need a decoy.... · You shure got a prurty mouth..... · If it ain't raining it ain't training. · Soldier, I'm the Platoon Commander, I should have the map! · Right-ho chaps, I know where we are, follow me! · Can you just have a quick look at my 432? · More Tea Vicar? · Don't worry lads. I was in the RAF you know. · Has anyone actually read the manual Sgt? · One volunteer required! · Just a shandy for me please. · All leave is cancelled until morale improves. · Iraq? Is that near Catterick? · Mmmmm...I think it's time to PVR. · You'll like Osnabruck its a great posting? · The alert states gone up and we need to double the guard! · Remove your canister and take a deep breath. · Can I see his Conduct Sheets Sergeant Major. · 14 Days Restriction of Privileges, March Out! · Open your lockers? · Report to the cookhouse take some gloves. · Well, we finished an hour early , and as it's such a pleasant day... · AGAI 67... · Tony has decided to send troops to the Lebanon on peace keeping duties..... · .........using UN rules of engagement........ · .................with only 2 rounds each...... · .....................which have to last you the whole tour! · Ok lads we've got a choice. Either The US Army air corps A-10's do our close air support ... or its RAF Harriers! · Greenie to the pan! · Cyprus is cancelled lads. Budget cuts from LAND I'm afraid. However, we managed to get Sennybridge at short notice for April. · Do you know you have glowstick on your helmet? · We need you to lay this comms line... if you see the minefield you're going the right way... · I'm tired, you can finish yourself off... · For you Tommy, ze war is over! · Sarge, what is this stuck in my gun? · Thats no hill, just get up it! · Welcome to P Company. · If it's not raining, it's not training. · Civvy's pay a fortune to do this! you get to do it for free and get paid for the privlage!! · Brecon · Press-up position...Down!! · You've let me down, you've let the Battery down, but above all, you've let yourself down · JPA · Have you read this book? Brilliant innit?! · Otterburn · Lower... Raise... · You're on stag · Prepare to double! · Right you cunts, reference that prominent woodline roughly 4km away? I want each of you to bring me a twig from it... · DOUBLE!!!!! · Incoming!! · CRACK....THUMP. · This flu you've got ... you weren't in Mexico recently were you? · QUICK MARK TIME!! · Don't bother unpacking as there has been a change of plan. · I'm sorry, I can't find your name on the list. · Excellent idea Lieutenant. · Sure, take what you need from the stores. We got an excellent deal on Webtex the other day. · So, you served twenty years in the SAS, seven as a Royal Marine Commando and fourteen in the Parachute Regiment...?