Things you don't get ....... but everyone else does

That ain’t gonna work bro.

You‘ll get a white coffee because it’ll be made by a dreadlocked and heavily made up bloke called LeShawna from East Acton, now residing in Brixton (to show solidarity) who’s family go back to the Norman Conquest and have never bred outside the postcode, never mind outside the race. Stan, as he was formerly known, has clocked that the more boxes he ticks the more of a protected species he becomes.

Whilst the coffee machine goes through more technical evolutions than a moon shot (and takes about the same time), Stan will make small talk about how he’s got a degree in Business Studies from University College Watford but can’t get a job running the IMF because, well, he doesn’t know why but anyway, the gig economy is where it’s at, zero hours is unethical, Boris Grrr, that’ll be £9 and would you like a FreeTrade cinnamon roll?
You old cynic, you!
 
Accepting gifts would breach most companies Bribery and Corruption Policies not to mention the drugs and alcohol policy. Booze not allowed at work even if you are not actually consuming it.

Hey, teaching is a legitimate business whereby your offspring are prepared for their station in life. Why should those who contribute so much not be allowed to "wet their beaks" on occasion?

Particularly if you want to ensure that station has a first-class waiting room.

Capiche?
 
Hey, teaching is a legitimate business whereby your offspring are prepared for their station in life. Why should those who contribute so much not be allowed to "wet their beaks" on occasion?

Particularly if you want to ensure that station has a first-class waiting room.

Capiche?
My kids are experts on rights, a little short on responsibilities (they've done the long, catch-up course with me so all sorted). About the only thing school has equipped them with beyond a level of education entirely achievable on line is a thorough knowledge of every religion and culture except their own and, should they be minded (thankfully they’re not) a sense that ticking and moaning about stuff, toppling statues, kicking coppers in the balls and kinetic shopping are the answer to everything and someone else will pay.

I certainly capiche.
 
My kids are experts on rights, a little short on responsibilities (they've done the long, catch-up course with me so all sorted). About the only thing school has equipped them with beyond a level of education entirely achievable on line is a thorough knowledge of every religion and culture except their own and, should they be minded (thankfully they’re not) a sense that ticking and moaning about stuff, toppling statues, kicking coppers in the balls and kinetic shopping are the answer to everything and someone else will pay.

I certainly capiche.
Ticking and moaning should not appear in regard to a certain religion.
 
Terry Pratchett. I've read five of his novels and I've hated every single one of them. I think he's very witty, and I've laughed out loud at some of his quips, but as far as a narrator, I think he sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls.

And the same goes for Hemingway.
 
Terry Pratchett. I've read five of his novels and I've hated every single one of them. I think he's very witty, and I've laughed out loud at some of his quips, but as far as a narrator, I think he sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls.

And the same goes for Hemingway.
I have tried three Hemingway books and got nowhere. It's just the style and tone. He is either languid in his description or staccato in his dialogue and action. Maybe he was a man of his time, but not for me I'm afraid.
 

Chef

LE
I have tried three Hemingway books and got nowhere. It's just the style and tone. He is either languid in his description or staccato in his dialogue and action. Maybe he was a man of his time, but not for me I'm afraid.
Same hre, I tried 'For whom the bell tolls' shortish book in the Spanish Civil War and stalled repeatedly after a few pages.

The best Hemingway are the pastiches done by Alan Coren. Far superior.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Same hre, I tried 'For whom the bell tolls' shortish book in the Spanish Civil War and stalled repeatedly after a few pages.

The best Hemingway are the pastiches done by Alan Coren. Far superior.
I heard 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' as a play on radio 4 extra recently. Finally understood what it was about.
 
I have tried three Hemingway books and got nowhere. It's just the style and tone. He is either languid in his description or staccato in his dialogue and action. Maybe he was a man of his time, but not for me I'm afraid.
I absolutely love reading, it's my favourite thing, curling up with a decent book, a glass of something to hand, in the evening after the kids have gone to bed and I have time for myself but I find that so much "classic" literature is in fact extremely tedious.

There are very few bookshops near me where I live and the books they do sell are mostly coffee table design books or self-help/new age religion but there is a large selection of Wordsworth Classics that are very cheap, about three quid a pop, and I have bought dozens of them but have usually been disappointed by most of them.

The great books of the past were products of their time, designed as the equivalent of soap operas to fill the long, dull, never-ending evenings and weekends at home without any other form of entertainment. People would pore over them for hours on end merely to kill the mind-numbing boredom that would otherwise fill their lives without any sensory stimulation beyond staring into the fire in the grate or having sex with their siblings.

Thus you could have entire chapters of Moby Dick devoted to the finer points of whale flensing or Robinson Crusoe on how to make a palm-leaf thatch roof. And don't get me started on Dickens, Eastenders has more believable plot lines than he does, and yet we are somehow supposed to revere this great literary heritage, most of which is frankly a load of overwrought tosh.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
And don't get me started on Dickens, Eastenders has more believable plot lines than he does, and yet we are somehow supposed to revere this great literary heritage, most of which is frankly a load of overwrought tosh.
Yeah, the English bastard.
 
I absolutely love reading, it's my favourite thing, curling up with a decent book, a glass of something to hand, in the evening after the kids have gone to bed and I have time for myself but I find that so much "classic" literature is in fact extremely tedious.

There are very few bookshops near me where I live and the books they do sell are mostly coffee table design books or self-help/new age religion but there is a large selection of Wordsworth Classics that are very cheap, about three quid a pop, and I have bought dozens of them but have usually been disappointed by most of them.

The great books of the past were products of their time, designed as the equivalent of soap operas to fill the long, dull, never-ending evenings and weekends at home without any other form of entertainment. People would pore over them for hours on end merely to kill the mind-numbing boredom that would otherwise fill their lives without any sensory stimulation beyond staring into the fire in the grate or having sex with their siblings.

Thus you could have entire chapters of Moby Dick devoted to the finer points of whale flensing or Robinson Crusoe on how to make a palm-leaf thatch roof. And don't get me started on Dickens, Eastenders has more believable plot lines than he does, and yet we are somehow supposed to revere this great literary heritage, most of which is frankly a load of overwrought tosh.
Christ, Dickens. I did Dickens and Shakespeare at school, my god it was s***.
 
If you really want to set me off on a rant about an over-rated pile of "literary" keek, just ask me about James Joyce's Ulysses.
And don't even go near to Tolstoy, guaranteed trip to the land of nod
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
If you really want to set me off on a rant about an over-rated pile of "literary" keek, just ask me about James Joyce's Ulysses.
He stepped straight out of a Python sketch.

2346.jpg
 

Scunner

Old-Salt
I absolutely love reading, it's my favourite thing, curling up with a decent book, a glass of something to hand, in
Eastenders has more believable plot lines than he does, and yet we are somehow supposed to revere this great literary heritage, most of which is frankly a load of overwrought tosh.
I've found the same.
My method for book selection is to pick one at random from the shelf, don't read the blurb on the back (never, ever, read the blurb) pay little attention to the author, title or cover, select a page near the middle of the book and read that. A paragraph or two on that page will either hook me or bore me.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
I've found the same.
My method for book selection is to pick one at random from the shelf, don't read the blurb on the back (never, ever, read the blurb) pay little attention to the author, title or cover, select a page near the middle of the book and read that. A paragraph or two on that page will either hook me or bore me.
Top shelf only ?
 
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