Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas.

#1
Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas

1. I prefer breasts to legs

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!

4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!

5. I've never seen a better spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you put it in? .

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.

18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!

19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning

20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!

Any other suggestions?
 
#5
[h=6]Could you spare just £2? Ranji is a 24 year old muslim in pakistan, he has just one arm, one leg and one eye, each day he travels 7 miles to get water down a narrow road on a rusty bike with no brakes, one pedal and bent wheels, if you can spare just £2 we will send you the dvd, its funny as fuck![/h]
 
#8
now that you can say when the in laws arrive

Funnily enough I was informed this afternoon that my SIL has been invited here for the big day.Hence my disgraceful outburst,for which I sincerely apologise.
I call her Hoover,due to her ability to suck up food and drink and also her uncanny skill at emptying a room of atmosphere.
 
#10
Funnily enough I was informed this afternoon that my SIL has been invited here for the big day.Hence my disgraceful outburst,for which I sincerely apologise.I call her Hoover,due to her ability to suck up food and drink and also her uncanny skill at emptying a room of atmosphere.
Does she do blowjobs as a sideline? All that sucking up ability wasted. Such a shame.
 
#11
[h=6]Could you spare just £2? Ranji is a 24 year old muslim in pakistan, he has just one arm, one leg and one eye, each day he travels 7 miles to get water down a narrow road on a rusty bike with no brakes, one pedal and bent wheels, if you can spare just £2 we will send you the dvd, its funny as fuck![/h]
I can deal with that and the 32 for the donkey or abused dog, BUT The Sally Army want £19! cheeky cunts
 
#12
Funnily enough I was informed this afternoon that my SIL has been invited here for the big day.Hence my disgraceful outburst,for which I sincerely apologise.
I call her Hoover,due to her ability to suck up food and drink and also her uncanny skill at emptying a room of atmosphere.

I had put your outburst down to the fact that you were touched inappropriately during a visit to Santa's grotty grotto when you were a kid. The real reason is obviously much more psychologically disturbing to you.

PS You know the rules, photos.
 

CplFoodspoiler

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#15
[h=6]Could you spare just £2? Ranji is a 24 year old muslim in pakistan, he has just one arm, one leg and one eye, each day he travels 7 miles to get water down a narrow road on a rusty bike with no brakes, one pedal and bent wheels, if you can spare just £2 we will send you the dvd, its funny as fuck![/h]
Note to self. Put down beer and swallow BEFORE reading posts! There is a fine spray of Boddingtons all over my nice monitor. I know, shit beer but cheap and serves it's purpose.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#16
Any other suggestions?
21) Die in a fire





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TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#20
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
And something about a newsreader not wearing poppy the traitorous shite
 

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