Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by radiorental, Dec 16, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas

    1. I prefer breasts to legs

    2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

    3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!

    4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!

    5. I've never seen a better spread!

    6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

    7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

    8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

    9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

    10. Don't play with your meat.

    11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

    12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

    13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!

    14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

    15. How long will it take after you put it in? .

    16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

    17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.

    18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!

    19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning

    20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!

    Any other suggestions?
    • Like Like x 5
  2. 21. Fuck of you dull cunt.
    • Like Like x 6
  3. No I don't think you get the point, these are things you can only say at Christmas.
    • Like Like x 5
  4. :)

    Attached Files:

    • Like Like x 3
  5. [h=6]Could you spare just £2? Ranji is a 24 year old muslim in pakistan, he has just one arm, one leg and one eye, each day he travels 7 miles to get water down a narrow road on a rusty bike with no brakes, one pedal and bent wheels, if you can spare just £2 we will send you the dvd, its funny as fuck![/h]
    • Like Like x 23
  6. 22, You can fuck off as well.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. now that you can say when the in laws arrive
    • Like Like x 2

  8. Funnily enough I was informed this afternoon that my SIL has been invited here for the big day.Hence my disgraceful outburst,for which I sincerely apologise.
    I call her Hoover,due to her ability to suck up food and drink and also her uncanny skill at emptying a room of atmosphere.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Hello little boy/girl (insert as appropriate ooer). Come and sit on knee and rummage around my festive sack.
  10. Does she do blowjobs as a sideline? All that sucking up ability wasted. Such a shame.
  11. I can deal with that and the 32 for the donkey or abused dog, BUT The Sally Army want £19! cheeky cunts

  12. I had put your outburst down to the fact that you were touched inappropriately during a visit to Santa's grotty grotto when you were a kid. The real reason is obviously much more psychologically disturbing to you.

    PS You know the rules, photos.
  13. £19 for 3 meals and a bed. For that I expect a prostitute with a healthy penchant for lesbianism and posterior poking as well.
  14. Photos ? - you've done nothing so bad as to deserve that.
  15. CplFoodspoiler

    CplFoodspoiler War Hero Book Reviewer

    Note to self. Put down beer and swallow BEFORE reading posts! There is a fine spray of Boddingtons all over my nice monitor. I know, shit beer but cheap and serves it's purpose.