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Things you can do in the mob that you cant do at Uni

#1
Title says it all really. I'm belatedly making the leap into the world of higher education, cheap(ish) SU drinks, easy student ladies and oh so easily offended right on lecturers!

So what can't I do there that I'd get away with in the mob? So far I've been told by others:

1. Mercilessly winding up lefties from day one is seen as a bit rude.

2. Losing control of all three orifices in the middle of the student union and being proud of it is seemingly not the done thing.

3. Likewise, shouting "naked bar!" and proceding to get nekkid is frowned upon.

4 Performing any of the suggestions in the "things to do in the block" thread in student halls will wind up with me homeless in pretty short order.

Any other ideas chaps?
 
#5
Carry a heavy but smallish carryall with some slightly rancid meat in it while acting very protective of it and, when asked what's in it, reply in a conspiratorial whisper before moving away quickly:-

"I found Maddie..."
 
#6
Airborne_Aircrew said:
Carry a heavy but smallish carryall with some slightly rancid meat in it while acting very protective of it and, when asked what's in it, reply in a conspiratorial whisper before moving away quickly:-

"I found Maddie..."
:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#7
Airborne_Aircrew said:
Carry a heavy but smallish carryall with some slightly rancid meat in it while acting very protective of it and, when asked what's in it, reply in a conspiratorial whisper before moving away quickly:-

"I found Maddie..."
Just spat my brew all over the laptop...now smells of burning.
 
#8
Bridge said:
Airborne_Aircrew said:
Carry a heavy but smallish carryall with some slightly rancid meat in it while acting very protective of it and, when asked what's in it, reply in a conspiratorial whisper before moving away quickly:-

"I found Maddie..."
Just spat my brew all over the laptop...now smells of burning.
Liar bridge, but that was funny
 
#10
Airborne_Aircrew said:
Carry a heavy but smallish carryall with some slightly rancid meat in it while acting very protective of it and, when asked what's in it, reply in a conspiratorial whisper before moving away quickly:-

"I found Maddie..."
Sick joke BUT cannot stop p1ssing myself.

now wait for the parents to sue you.....HA!
 
#14
i was refused entry to a bar over the weekend for "not being a student"

my reply should have been 'well not being a student should be a fucking good reason to let me into your bar you fat stinking bastard cos i will drink more beer without falling over probably wont be sick all over your staff...probably'

my actually reply was 'uuugggrrrhhgg fucking soap dodging....<dribble some half eaten subway sandwich> bastard hippies....grrruuuuuuulmmmm <fall over>'

anyone ever been to headingley in leeds?
charming place.

benjy
 
#19
I suspect skiffing may be frowned upon as well as discussing your turds with people, drinking vomit/p1ss, playing freckles or dragging everyone out of bed at 0600 every morning for PT.

On the plus side, the women will be much, much fitter and, as a mature student, you might have some cash to splash on them as well as benefitting from your 'life experience' which will enable you to persuade them that a hoop dhobi could save the world.

For proper sh1ts and giggles, join the university debating society and propose the motion 'Why whales, seal cubs, badgers, bunny rabbits and foxes are all asking for it.'
 

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