Things Women Can't Do

46 Things women can't do.........

1/ Know anything about a car except its colour
2/ Understand a film plot
3/ Go 24 hours without sending a text message
4/ Lift
5/ Throw
6/ Run
7/ Park
8/ Read a map
9/ Rob a bank
10/ Sit still
11/ Tell a joke
12/ Play pool
13/ Pay for dinner
14/ Eat a kebab while walking
15/ Argue without shouting
16/ Get told off without crying
17/ Understand fruit machines
18/ Walk past a shoe shop
19/ Make a decent bacon sandwich
20/ Not comment on strangers clothes
21/ Use small amounts of toilet paper
22/ Let you sleep with a hang over
23/ Drink a pint gracefully
24/ Get a round in
25/ Throw a punch
26/ Do magic
27/ Like your friends
28/ Eat a really hot curry
29/ Get to the point
30/ Buy plain envelopes
31/ Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
32/ Sit in a room for 5 minutes without saying " I'm Cold "
33/ Go shopping without telephoning 20 friends
34/ Avoid credit card debt
35/ Dive into a pool
36/ Assemble furniture
37/ Set a video recorder
38/ Not try change you
39/ Watch a war film
40/ Understand why flirting results in violence
41/ Spend a day by themselves
42/ Go to the toilet by themselves
43/ Buy a purse that fits in your pocket
44/ Choose a video quickly
46/ Get this far without having argued with at least 10 of the above
47/ Use a hole in the wall bank machine quickly
48/ Go on a trip without taking three times as many clothes as necessary
49/ Use most of the functions on a mobile phone
50/ Press trousers properly
51/ Pee in a bucket simultaneously with two mates.
52/ Reverse into a parking slot parallel to the kerb.
54/ Keep their mouth shut during a war film

55/ Do sword drill

56/ Accept without argument constructive criticism of their ghastly offspring

57/ Operate a digital camera correctly
Understand a joke without saying later "Do you remember that joke, I dont get it".
It is all rather reminiscent of a rather amusing spoof 1940s / 1950s sketch by Harry Enfield, in which his rather wooden-sounding Radio / Newsreel presenter with the Alvar Liddel-type voice, Mr. Cholmondley-Warner, issues the injunction “ Women of Britain, Know Your Limits! “
Women also cant ....

go out in skimpy attire without liberally applying fake tan
take less than an hour getting ready going out
give decent navigational directions whilst travelling in a car
pay for an entire night out without whinging
serve as an infantry soldier
serve in a submarine
get away with sporting a waxed moustache
Their also crap at giving hand jobs - never get it right, and squaking "am i doing it right?" half way through isnt a turn on :x


boney_m said:
Their also crap at giving hand jobs - never get it right, and squaking "am i doing it right?" half way through isnt a turn on :x
i did meet one she was fukin spot on , one problem she was married lasted 10 months , oh well such is life , still good wankin from her mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
they cant kill a chicken/rabbit etc without going "aahhh but hes just a lil creature :cry: "/ or giving it a name like mr fluffy

and they cant hold a decent conversation about the greatness of t!ts - they just dont get it!
dale_the_snail said:
ViroBono said:
Operate a digital camera correctly
Ah - now thats where you are wrong. Tra la la.
Tra la la what? you have proof? :twisted:
I can happily vouch for MS. The Snail , on the matter of skill at digital cameras Pt.1 :)

Which brings me on to my next point..

Dale, Piccies? Or shall I just help meself, subject to you pointing out what i can and can't use etc?

Hang it all, be simpler if you selected some shots and emailed them over

Whoa Whoa who has pictures of the trout

I have seen most of the chicks on arse, but not Dale, come on PTP spill the beans

Any bush shots :D :D or norks, don't mind

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