Things Women Can't Do

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by babiesarm, Oct 9, 2003.

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  1. 46 Things women can't do.........

    1/ Know anything about a car except its colour
    2/ Understand a film plot
    3/ Go 24 hours without sending a text message
    4/ Lift
    5/ Throw
    6/ Run
    7/ Park
    8/ Read a map
    9/ Rob a bank
    10/ Sit still
    11/ Tell a joke
    12/ Play pool
    13/ Pay for dinner
    14/ Eat a kebab while walking
    15/ Argue without shouting
    16/ Get told off without crying
    17/ Understand fruit machines
    18/ Walk past a shoe shop
    19/ Make a decent bacon sandwich
    20/ Not comment on strangers clothes
    21/ Use small amounts of toilet paper
    22/ Let you sleep with a hang over
    23/ Drink a pint gracefully
    24/ Get a round in
    25/ Throw a punch
    26/ Do magic
    27/ Like your friends
    28/ Eat a really hot curry
    29/ Get to the point
    30/ Buy plain envelopes
    31/ Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
    32/ Sit in a room for 5 minutes without saying " I'm Cold "
    33/ Go shopping without telephoning 20 friends
    34/ Avoid credit card debt
    35/ Dive into a pool
    36/ Assemble furniture
    37/ Set a video recorder
    38/ Not try change you
    39/ Watch a war film
    40/ Understand why flirting results in violence
    41/ Spend a day by themselves
    42/ Go to the toilet by themselves
    43/ Buy a purse that fits in your pocket
    44/ Choose a video quickly
    46/ Get this far without having argued with at least 10 of the above
  2. ViroBono

    ViroBono LE Moderator

    47/ Use a hole in the wall bank machine quickly
    48/ Go on a trip without taking three times as many clothes as necessary
    49/ Use most of the functions on a mobile phone
    50/ Press trousers properly
  3. 51/ Pee in a bucket simultaneously with two mates.
    52/ Reverse into a parking slot parallel to the kerb.
  4. 53. Keep their yap shut during the ball game! :p
  5. ViroBono

    ViroBono LE Moderator

    54/ Keep their mouth shut during a war film

    55/ Do sword drill

    56/ Accept without argument constructive criticism of their ghastly offspring

    57/ Operate a digital camera correctly

  6. Soooooo true !
  7. Understand a joke without saying later "Do you remember that joke, I dont get it".
  8. To quote Gene Hackman in the Western 'The Quick and the Dead':

    Women can't shoot for sh*t
  9. They can't pee up high walls either 8)
  10. Wait at the lights in their car without fannying around with their hair, makeup, lipstick etc in the rear view mirror.
  11. It is all rather reminiscent of a rather amusing spoof 1940s / 1950s sketch by Harry Enfield, in which his rather wooden-sounding Radio / Newsreel presenter with the Alvar Liddel-type voice, Mr. Cholmondley-Warner, issues the injunction “ Women of Britain, Know Your Limits! “
  12. They cant keep secrets
  13. Women also cant ....

    go out in skimpy attire without liberally applying fake tan
    take less than an hour getting ready going out
    give decent navigational directions whilst travelling in a car
    pay for an entire night out without whinging
    serve as an infantry soldier
    serve in a submarine
    get away with sporting a waxed moustache
  14. Their also crap at giving hand jobs - never get it right, and squaking "am i doing it right?" half way through isnt a turn on :x
  15. i did meet one she was fukin spot on , one problem she was married lasted 10 months , oh well such is life , still good wankin from her mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm