• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Things to say to the chaps on Ark Royal

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#1
Ark Royal is coming back to her birthplace on the Tyne, before being carted off to the knackers yard. Me and Posh Bird and some of our chums have been invited aboard for pink gin and some old chat from the sailors who sail her.

None of us have much experience around Jolly Jack Tar types. One of me Uncles served on a Corvette and Posh Bird went a bit pink when sailors were mentioned, but I love her so I didnt push it.

I appeal to the NAAFI for amusing bon mots, what might amuse the sailors. Apart from "Hello sailor. New in town?" Obviously.

I thought "Nice boat".
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
Ark Royal is coming back to her birthplace on the Tyne, before being carted off to the knackers yard.
A sister company in a group I used to work for had the contract to break up the 70's vintage Ark Royal. Bankrupted them.

1) The ship was stuffed full of asbestos.
2) It's not easy cutting through an armoured deck to get at all the high value metal underneath.

Opps.....

Wordsmith.
 
#6
'Gosh, what a big boat. Think of all the aircraft you could get in here. Here. Here. Here.........'

See, that was an echo. 'Cos they have'nt got any aircraft. And you're in a big, empty space. 'Cos there's no aircraft. And no money to buy some.

Trust me, they'll smile at that one.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#9
Not even fish swim in the Tyne if they can help it. Its not nice in there
We have salmon up the Tyne I will have you know.

But I have thought of this. My small enamelled lapel poppy has a black centre. The camera is linked to a mobile phone-like device in my inside pocket which transmits to a series of SIM cards every 30 seconds. One cannot be too careful around sailors. I may wish to relieve myself at some point, and I have heard the 'Golden Rivet' story.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#14
I shall be up that way this weekend, when will she be there?
She is there now. Open to the public 10.00am - 3.30pm Sat and Sun. She's at Northumbria Quay in North Shields. The Harrier GR9's will jump off for the very last time when she leaves the Tyne. Not dry eye in the house.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#15
She is there now. Open to the public 10.00am - 3.30pm Sat and Sun. She's at Northumbria Quay in North Shields. The Harrier GR9's will jump off for the very last time when she leaves the Tyne. Not dry eye in the house.
Oh right will go have a look I'll be in south shields. Won't be able to go inside I'll have the dog with me.
 
#19
Any young lady is welcome to ask to see the inside of the Olympus Module, it was my oppo's favourite shagging place on the Manchester, I prefered my office.

Failing that turn up with a pair of skis and a woolie bobble hat a la Eddie the Eagle and ask where the ski jump is.
 

Latest Threads