Things to say to the chaps on Ark Royal

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheIronDuke, Nov 18, 2010.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Ark Royal is coming back to her birthplace on the Tyne, before being carted off to the knackers yard. Me and Posh Bird and some of our chums have been invited aboard for pink gin and some old chat from the sailors who sail her.

    None of us have much experience around Jolly Jack Tar types. One of me Uncles served on a Corvette and Posh Bird went a bit pink when sailors were mentioned, but I love her so I didnt push it.

    I appeal to the NAAFI for amusing bon mots, what might amuse the sailors. Apart from "Hello sailor. New in town?" Obviously.

    I thought "Nice boat".
  2. jim24

    jim24 Book Reviewer

    " God you Matalots were lucky to be affiliated with the best regiment in the British Army"
  3. Wordsmith

    Wordsmith LE Book Reviewer

    A sister company in a group I used to work for had the contract to break up the 70's vintage Ark Royal. Bankrupted them.

    1) The ship was stuffed full of asbestos.
    2) It's not easy cutting through an armoured deck to get at all the high value metal underneath.


  4. Long shore leave then???
  5. Guns

    Guns LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. The Royal Navy

    Ask about the Golden Rivet.
  6. 'Gosh, what a big boat. Think of all the aircraft you could get in here. Here. Here. Here.........'

    See, that was an echo. 'Cos they have'nt got any aircraft. And you're in a big, empty space. 'Cos there's no aircraft. And no money to buy some.

    Trust me, they'll smile at that one.
  7. Was just wondering your grace, merry quips and bon mots are all very well, but can you swim?
  8. Not even fish swim in the Tyne if they can help it. Its not nice in there
  9. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    We have salmon up the Tyne I will have you know.

    But I have thought of this. My small enamelled lapel poppy has a black centre. The camera is linked to a mobile phone-like device in my inside pocket which transmits to a series of SIM cards every 30 seconds. One cannot be too careful around sailors. I may wish to relieve myself at some point, and I have heard the 'Golden Rivet' story.
  10. I shall be up that way this weekend, when will she be there?
  11. Goodbye, last one off please turn out the lights
  12. Arriving tomorow, not sure on departure but probably there for the weekend.
  13. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    She is there now. Open to the public 10.00am - 3.30pm Sat and Sun. She's at Northumbria Quay in North Shields. The Harrier GR9's will jump off for the very last time when she leaves the Tyne. Not dry eye in the house.
  14. Oh right will go have a look I'll be in south shields. Won't be able to go inside I'll have the dog with me.