Things to do to a scum sucking piece of filth ?

#1
Won't go into details, but someone has seriously pissed of my family and I'm need of some suggestions.

I'll start off with,

1. 9mm to the forehead.

or my preffered choice

2. Nail their bollocks to a bench then slowly roast them with a blowtorch.

I await the incoming.
 
#2
Just do it, posting it on here before you do it will just land you in Jail. If you really was going to do either of those things you would have done it by now :p

Good luck getting away with it eitherway Cheerio
 
#3
Won't go into details, but someone has seriously pissed of my family and I'm need of some suggestions.

I'll start off with,

1. 9mm to the forehead.

or my preffered choice

2. Nail their bollocks to a bench then slowly roast them with a blowtorch.

I await the incoming.
As your from Sheffield I recommend a WKD fueled scuffle in the street outside Yates, lots of shouting and someone will rip someones tight white t shirt, before the police turn up and you shout a lot about getting your cousin or brother involved, while your bloaty head girlfriend screams "It's not worth it Darryl, leave it, its not worth it!".

Am I on the money?
 
#5
Arby, I'm 43 for christ's sake, I wouldn't be seen dead inside, never mind outside Yate's.
By the way, my wife is far from being a " bloaty head ", take it back you bounder !!
 
L

Lechies

Guest
#7
A plank of wood with a nail hammered half way through it. Moe from the Simpsons chased Aliens away from invading the Earth with a plank with a nail in it, so I'm pretty sure it'll work in real life.
 
#8
Fuckin kill the cunt innit.
 
#9
make him suck you off then tell him you had better, that'll hurt his feelings
 
#10
Arby, I'm 43 for christ's sake, I wouldn't be seen dead inside, never mind outside Yate's.
By the way, my wife is far from being a " bloaty head ", take it back you bounder !!
A bounder, you say? I am a lot of things, a cheat, a drunk, a theif, a mouth rapist, but I am not a bounder. Im a gentleman. Just ask bloaty head.
 
#11
Whatever you do, good luck with getting away with it now that your intention has been put on t'web.

If the revenge warrants a police investigation one of the first things they will do (after putting their fingers up your bottom to check for something or other) would be to trawl through your pc/lappy hard-drives,all your sms'ssss, mobile calls, emails and snail mail...et voila, hoist with your own petard, a full confession on ARRSE which is admissable in all the Courts of the world.

Best thing to do is as someone cleverer than me said, oohh last week I think, "Speak softly and carry a big stick...then hit the twat on the back of the head" I might have paraphrased that.
 
#12
That's all too simple to go and damage someone, you really ought to give it more brain cells in your revenge. The more data you have on someone the better, and you can get someone else to do the job for you. For instance....

Even a phone number is a good start. Then go off masquerading as them on YouTube,etc posting lurid comments about children and giving out said phone number. Another is to leave the number in mens toilets.

Fictitious Facebook accounts are always a giggle, gain as many friends as you can then put as much known details as possible before starting to post pictures of.... well whatever you like.

Dating sites are also great fun, choosing a few absolute desperate mingers and then supplying the address to turn up to, sit back a watch the fireworks.

You can do all these from the comfort of your own home too.... It's not me by the way is it? If it is, don't do any of that, it's wrong.
 
#13
Won't go into details
You'll get more replies if you do. If the truth isn't lurid enough, just make something up. Do an Advanced Search on 'revenge' in the NAAFI Bar, there's ten pages of threads on the subject. That should keep you in Monty Burns mode for days.
 
#14
Dating sites are also great fun, choosing a few absolute desperate mingers and then supplying the address to turn up to, sit back a watch the fireworks.
Winding up a few bunny boilers from plenty of fish and then abandoning them with nothing but the target's address and the target's partner's mobile number??

Seems like a good idea but only really endorsable if you post pictures here of said bunny boilers.
 
#15
A sock-full of snooker balls to the back of the head has been known to be eminently satisfying. (But don't tell the coppers I said so.)
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#16
Snap to and get good. The reputation of northerners as artists in this field is at stake.

You will need half an ounce of ching, a ticket to Nassau County, New York and some household bills with his address on. Go through his dust bin and lift some latents off of his beer cans. Fly to New York. Book into a hotel under a false name. Fill it with his clothes and household bills and latents and the half ounce of ching. Phone Babylon and tell them the man in room 412 tried to sell you coke and showed you a big bag of the stuff.

Fly home to watch the local plod drag him off to be extradited safe in the knowlege his dick is about to be eaten by rats *Linky*
 
#17
crash test said:
As your from Sheffield I recommend a WKD fueled scuffle in the street outside Yates, lots of shouting and someone will rip someones tight white t shirt, before the police turn up and you shout a lot about getting your cousin or brother involved, while your bloaty head girlfriend screams "It's not worth it Darryl, leave it, its not worth it!".

Am I on the money?
Arby, I'm 43 for christ's sake, I wouldn't be seen dead inside, never mind outside Yate's.
By the way, my wife is far from being a " bloaty head ", take it back you bounder !!
Well as you're a bit more mature (physically not mentally) then perhaps it'll be a fisty-cuffs in the bogs of the local Shite Northern Working Mens Club? You'll drop bloaty Head off at the usual semi-circle cushioned seating arrangement around a peeling formica table. She's have the usual, something tacky shes drank in there since she was 12 when her Mum an' Dad used to pop her in for a treat, with Pork Scratchings of course.

The faimly dispute will be over who did and who didn't make the Club Presidency. Your family are in dispute because you made the dizzy heights of Fee's member and your dad should have been the President, it's his time after all. But I suspect that Cyril Arkwright got re-elected again? Possible because apart from you, the entire club commitee is made up of Arkwright's.

Look mate, live with it. Get your dad to bide his time, the presidency will come. It the meantime wee in the lager (although it always fucking tastes like it when I drink up north) and stir up a conspiracy that Fred Arkwright is fiddling the books (As every Working Mens club always has a sordid history of someone pocketing the cash?).

Before you know it, the Crash's will be top dog and you'll be the most poweful family in your area. (Notwithstanding the Roma mafia down the road and the Serbian drug family around the corner)

Good Luck!
 
L

Lechies

Guest
#18
Sneak into his room in the middle of the night, give him a blowy, catch his seed in your mouth but don't swallow, go and kill a prostitute and spit his seed on her face... voila, he'll be in the frame for a sex murder and you'll be safe in the knowledge that you've blown another bloke off, but you're not gay.
 
#19
So as you havent gone round and knacked the bugger I'll assume he can batter you quite easily? Why else would you be looking for faceless revenge on the net?

Dont let the fact that your a seven stone weakling that wets the bed get in the way of your revenge though. Embrace it and use it. Go round his house and kick his motor until he bursts through the door and kicks you up and down the road. When he goes inside drag yourself to a nearby cliff and ring the police to say he's threatened to kill you. All you have to do then is roll yourself up in a carpet and jump off.

He'll do life for killing you and your familys honour is restored. They also dont have to listen to you weeping yourself to sleep because the big boys call you names.

Happy to help.
 
#20
Won't go into details, but someone has seriously pissed of my family and I'm need of some suggestions.

I'll start off with,

1. 9mm to the forehead.

or my preffered choice

2. Nail their bollocks to a bench then slowly roast them with a blowtorch.

I await the incoming.
Oh please give us a clue. I'll start then: Messed up your drug deal? Bitch late with ho money, you are a poncy avon rep and you ordered some lippy a client does not want now.
Please, clue......
 

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