Things to do in airport security queues...

S

Snoreador

Guest
#1
Yesterday I was flying from Heathrow. Standing in the queue for security scanning, a couple of stag-do-uniformed (printed polo shirts with "Bov's big weekend" or some other banal shit on them) lads decided to start being a bit lairy in my general direction:

Them: "Why did you just sniff your finger?" (seriously...)
Me (couldn't be arsed to be clever): "I didn't. I had an itch." Seriously, I hadn't just been scratching my balls or anything...
Them: "Are you English?"
Me: "Yes"
Then: "Do you like the queen?"
Me: "I've never met her"
... this continued for some time, and ended up with lairy cnut no. 1 loudly showing off his 'Free Wales Army' tattoo on his neck, which loudly proclaiming his love and respect for Sinn Fein and Gerry Adams. Surprisingly enough, this escalating exposition caught the attention of the assembled security folk, and he was taken off for a chat. I don't think he was very happy about that, given the naught naughty words he was saying. They'd make my gran blush!

The most amusing thing was the clear thought that going on about loving terrorist organisations and terrorists. Sorry, reformed politicians, in that situation is clever.
 
#2
Speaking about airports; with regard to the Moscow Airport bombing, I can hardly wait to see what "new and improved" security methods the TSA imposes on US airports. Perhaps they will cause everyone to strip for a cavity search in the parking structure then issue paper jumpsuits for the flight. I have not flown in over ten years and frankly don't care if I ever do again.
 
#3
I like to get pissed makes me less worried that the immigrant on security is gonna kill me.
 
S

Snoreador

Guest
#4
The ethnic make-up of the staff was decidedly non 'White, British, Other', as the surveys would have it.
 
#5
Was this really the best day to post a rant on airport security? We all know its shit and ineffective, but 35 odd people just died proving it so your rant is a little ineffective compared to what the Chechens have demonstrated.
 
S

Snoreador

Guest
#6
It's not a rant on airport security, it's a rant about an idiot who proclaimed to support somewhat suspect organisations while standing in a security queue.
 
#7
Was this really the best day to post a rant on airport security? We all know its shit and ineffective, but 35 odd people just died proving it so your rant is a little ineffective compared to what the Chechens have demonstrated.
Did you actually read his post? I'd suggest not.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#8
So, why did you sniff your finger?
 
S

Snoreador

Guest
#9
I had just scratched my arse, and wanted to see how fruity it all was. No, really, I was just scratching my nose!
 
#10
The security is a farce. I flew yesterday and was told to put my 'passport and ticket through the machine sir', paper is damned dangerous, bloody idiot.

Learn to fly, about 10 to 15K, a helicopter, book a landing slot at an airport, drop in a field on the way and pick up whatever you want, QED, whatever you want airside at any international airport you like, trust me landing and handling fees trump serious security anywhere.

Thats just a random thought, there are numerous ways of sidestepping any real security. Its all a joke and worthless.

Sorry not worthless, worth bloody millions by the security people, but useless.
 
#11
Did you actually read his post? I'd suggest not.

Not particularly, I was expecting stupidity and wasn't disappointed by the first few lines.
 
#12
Not particularly, I was expecting stupidity and wasn't disappointed by the first few lines.
So you feel safer with the current level of passenger security?
 
#13
So you feel safer with the current level of passenger security?

Passenger-wise, no. Increased security measures have yet to actually catch a would be terrorist.

Airport security has been a blind spot for ages. In many countries you can't get inside the terminal unless you're a passenger and have your bag x-rayed prior to entry. Logical enough, and if Nepal can afford it...
 
S

Snoreador

Guest
#14
Passenger-wise, no. Increased security measures have yet to actually catch a would be terrorist.
I suppose the relevant argument is that the measures may well have put off a would-be terrorist. Very few people would be stupid enough to try and get through security with explosives etc, given the level of scanning / screening / whatever (however flawed it may be).
 
#15
Passenger-wise, no. Increased security measures have yet to actually catch a would be terrorist.

Airport security has been a blind spot for ages. In many countries you can't get inside the terminal unless you're a passenger and have your bag x-rayed prior to entry. Logical enough, and if Nepal can afford it...
But it's all pointless, if you are serious about blowing up a plane you'd have to be pretty stupid to try and do it using a bottle of water or a pair of trainers. Affording it misses the point that it does nothing to make anyone safer. I bet you think fighting in Afghanistan makes you safer at home.

They've already won.
 
#16
So you feel safer with the current level of passenger security?
Well I do feel that it's so anal and pisses off so many normal people that there's no way anyone who so much as farts in a suspicious manner will get through. That's something at least
 
#17
I suppose the relevant argument is that the measures may well have put off a would-be terrorist. Very few people would be stupid enough to try and get through security with explosives etc, given the level of scanning / screening / whatever (however flawed it may be).
But the cost to business and commerce is huge by just reacting to this crap. We all pay for that.
 
#18
Well I do feel that it's so anal and pisses off so many normal people that there's no way anyone who so much as farts in a suspicious manner will get through. That's something at least
You're not the top guy in your department are you, you just go with the flow? You won't amount to much, following the crowd is your thing.
 
#19
You're not the top guy in your department are you, you just go with the flow? You won't amount to much, following the crowd is your thing.
Generally a good philosophy in airport queues ;)

Seriously though, if they'll go through your baggage because they smell something which smells something like something which might conceivably be used as part of a crime, you have to feel re-assured that if you really were smuggling something through then they'd be onto it like a tramp on chips. It's probably a pretty good deterrant as well and no doubt is literally whittling down the number of ideas they've got, it'll get to the stage when they can't do an original plot because they've tried them all.
 
#20
Generally a good philosophy in airport queues ;)

Seriously though, if they'll go through your baggage because they smell something which smells something like something which might conceivably be used as part of a crime, you have to feel re-assured that if you really were smuggling something through then they'd be onto it like a tramp on chips. It's probably a pretty good deterrant as well and no doubt is literally whittling down the number of ideas they've got, it'll get to the stage when they can't do an original plot because they've tried them all.
You didn't read everything did you?

Terrorists are not stupid.
 

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