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Things that please me

Tool

LE
First good day of my working year. Woke up just before the alarm, ********* in the morning were a more fun class than I expected, made a young one turn green and almost faint and the two in detention did as they were told in silence. Best bit was the class I expected to be a ******* nightmare managed a half-decent double lesson and I didn't want to stab them in the eyes with scissors by the end.

I might have been at this school long enough to get enough of a reputation that the younger ones aren't pushing their luck. Alternatively it's just the first fortnight honeymoon period and it will all come crashing down around my ears before October :rolleyes:
Keep an eye out for a "mature" student with a bit of a BO issue, wearing a purple cape...
 
After months of moaning and back and forth trips to a variety of shops, SWMBO has decided on which mattress to select. Order has been placed before she can change her mind. Peace returns to the household.
 
After months of moaning and back and forth trips to a variety of shops, SWMBO has decided on which mattress to select. Order has been placed before she can change her mind. Peace returns to the household.
Cue sulphur and purple cape.
Expect a round of duvet cover, pillowcase and sheet selection next.
And then a complaint she can't sleep comfortably on he new one...
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
Things that please me seem to be few and far between these days, BUT... finished the first module of my OU studies and got a shiny new textbook for the next , starting in October. Enjoying a few days of fine weather and able to sit out in the garden and listen to the deafening cacophony of sparrows, silenced periodically by the arrival of the local sparrowhawk! And I think I may have increased my establishment of students from one to two....
 
First good day of my working year. Woke up just before the alarm, ********* in the morning were a more fun class than I expected, made a young one turn green and almost faint and the two in detention did as they were told in silence. Best bit was the class I expected to be a ******* nightmare managed a half-decent double lesson and I didn't want to stab them in the eyes with scissors by the end.

I might have been at this school long enough to get enough of a reputation that the younger ones aren't pushing their luck. Alternatively it's just the first fortnight honeymoon period and it will all come crashing down around my ears before October :rolleyes:

Have you tried ritual human sacrifice? Very motivational according to my old maths master.
 
Have you tried ritual human sacrifice? Very motivational according to my old maths master.
Given my previous attempts at attitude adjustment* were frowned upon by management I think cutting out their still beating hearts in the playground might not be acceptable. Nice idea though pour encourager les autres.

*making them line up outside in the rain was "unfair" and keeping them outside in the cold until they decided to shut up was "against school policy". The fact that I was outside with them at the time and it wasn't that cold was irrelevant.
 
I’m pleased to see the England and Australia cricket teams have agreed not to ‘take the knee’ at the start of their one day games. Cue outrage from Michael Holding who accuses them of misunderstanding what take the knee is all about.
Sorry Michael, but much as I respect you, you are the one who has got the wrong end of the stick here. Yes, the killing of Mr Floyd was avoidable and outrageous, but what has transpired ever since across most of the western world has been a complete over reaction.
Well done both teams for restoring some sanity in the world of sport and please don’t be intimidated into changing your stance.
 
This morning I had one of those moments whereby you just know that you're going to have a thoroughly good day.

I walked up the road this morning to buy my newspaper then sit outside the local cafe and have a slice of toast and a bucket of coffee while reading the paper as I do every Saturday and Sunday morning.

On the walk back i was passing the neighbourhood bores house and before I realised he was there polishing his fuckin car he'd collared me.

Of he went in his usual drone of a voice about fuck knows what, when a bird that must have had an arrse the size of a rhino AND the galloping shits, deposited the biggest pile of birdshit I have ever seen in my life right onto the middle of his newly polished bonnet.

I looked at this huge, slimy, white, black, yellow and green mess, looked at him, looked back at the festering shite, then back at him again and said, somehow straight faced, 'that ain't good is it?' Well as you can imagine there wasn't any joy to be found on the cnuts usually smug face, just a look of shock and the growing realisation that he had to clean the ungodly mess off of it.

I somehow managed to not burst out laughing, wished him luck and a good day and with a sudden spring in my step and a growing grin on my face I left him to it, I'm sure though that he could hear the laughter that erupted from me when I got indoors even from there, that's when I knew it was going to be a great day
 
My youngest dancing in the car on the way back from school. I wish I could be this happy. I’m not miserable or anything like it, but as she is just 7, she has no problems, no worries and is utterly carefree. She likes Little Mix's "Black Magic" (not my thing I have to say) and is completely entrancing, so innocently happy that she makes, just for a moment, all this Covid shite, these economic forecast worries, the crooked politicians and the selfish cunts who make the world such a depressing place at present, disappear for a few fleeting moments.
 
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Appearences can be deceptive. Whilst staying at a farmhouse digs, I was talking to the landlady and up waddled a very overweight chocolate Lab. 'Who's a good boy then?' quoth I. 'No he's not; he's very naughty' said the lady. 'What's he done?' - 'He ate the budgie'. I was in a very difficult situation as the first guffaw had already escaped and I was desparately trying to swallow my tongue and stop laughing. I apologised and retreated to my room crying with suppressed laughter. How did a 15 stone Lab get the budgie?

Patience, the mutt spent 15 years pretending to be a duffer, lulled the budgie into a false sense of security, then come the day, wham, mutt 1- budgie 0, revenge, always best served cold....

JB
 

Charles1948

Old-Salt
A thing that pleased me some years ago, was when I was waiting at a bus-stop. Across the road, a cat was sitting.
The cat ran across the road, and let me stroke it. I always remember that.
 

Tongnye

Clanker
What really pleases me is 3 weeks hospital free between courses of chemo, mrs nig poor cow only gets a week off ,so she isalways spewing her heart up, what really pleased me though was the letter accepting my cancer as a direct connectionto my service career
 
Women recreating Calendar Girls type photos for me, with a strategically placed kitten (No photos, I don't want a face slicing)

I didn't even ask for it, they just sent it to me
 
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Who say arrsers can't enjoy art, the works of Fanny Fielding seem ideal for the arrse massive with such titles as:

  • Daddy Leaves My Tiny Pussy Begging For More
  • Sisters Trim Their Bushes Together Outdoors
  • Best Amateur Cream Pie
  • Cock And Balls
  • Dripping Wet Beaver, Desperate For Wood
  • Neighbour’s Relentless Organ Leaves Me Trembling
  • Tits Around Fat Balls
  • Ex-Boyfriend Shocks Me With His Junk In My Back Passage
  • Surprise Facial For Grandma
  • Neighbour Fills My Gaping Hole (With Drawers Pulled To One Side)
  • Early Morning Swallow In The Bushes
  • An Impressive Pair Of Jugs
  • Tea bagging Boyfriend Squeezes Out Every Last Drop
  • Boyfriend Gets Pegging In The Garden For The First Time
  • Naughty Niece Loves Doggie
  • Nasty Birds Terrified By Tremendous Dong
  • Fraulein Wide Open For Hot German Sausage
  • Contented Pussy Full Of Cream
  • Spontaneous Bean Flicking Leaves Sticky Mess On The Floor
  • Boyfriend Destroys My Chocolate Box
  • The Intoxicating Smell Of My Dutch Oven
 
I find that seeing a woman scratching/adjusting her tits without her realising I'm watching/perving her doing it deeply pleasing, it happened again earlier this morning in the local cafe, I even feel like offering my help when I see it but I don't want to risk getting my teeth slapped out
 

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