Things that please me

We were told today that our business premises (car main stealer) were classed as a retail environment, so the customer has to wear a mask. The staff do not have to, but it is suggested that we do if a customer requests it.

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According to the checkout bitch in Morrisons, they all have to wear them from tomorrow. This pleases me as I find it quite kinky.
I've got cat face masks on order, if I'm going to have to wear a mask to go shopping I might as well have a face full of pussy
 
In High Wycombe where I've been staying whilst away on work, there's a short (100m) strip of road lined with Chicken Shacks, Burger Joints, Kebab Houses etc. It's one-way only apart from buses who can go both ways. The local Asian wideboys with their S3s, Merc AMGs, BMW M2s etc, all dripping with bling, over tinted windows, 30 profile tyres on oversized wheels, use it as a drag strip until the late hours.

Until one met a bus coming around the corner. The bus won. I reckon the S3 is a write off
High Whycombe isn't that where the White Widow came from?
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
Does it do chocolate or lemon drizzle cakes?
If I mix the ingredients and put them in for the correct length of time...
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
According to the checkout bitch in Morrisons, they all have to wear them from tomorrow. This pleases me as I find it quite kinky.
Surely not needed if they have a screen...
 
Crab salad. This is the second week we got a couple of dressed crabs. I like them so much we once went on holiday to Cromer for a week to indulge. The balance will go back the other way if the gout plays up. Until then . . .
 
Crab salad. This is the second week we got a couple of dressed crabs. I like them so much we once went on holiday to Cromer for a week to indulge. The balance will go back the other way if the gout plays up. Until then . . .
Jezus, that proves you must really, really like them, going to Norfolk to get some nosebag? That takes dedication
 
Going to the shop the other day. Fairly bland advert on for something (gym, fitness centre, whatever).
”Clean, safe and ready to go” was the catch line.
If that doesn’t sound like the recipe for a perfect girl/boy friend I don’t know what is.
 
Going to the shop the other day. Fairly bland advert on for something (gym, fitness centre, whatever).
”Clean, safe and ready to go” was the catch line.
If that doesn’t sound like the recipe for a perfect girl/boy friend I don’t know what is.
I've seen something similar in the window of the newsagents

Errrr,a friend, a FRIEND, has seen something similar in a newsagents window...
 
Fly zappers that work.
My old Poundshop zapper broke in half when I tried to dislodge a wasp from the grid with a swing and swift stop. It never zapped with a 'crack' much and normally shredded/battered insects to death, touching the grid did sting a bit, though.
I bought a new one through eBay:
Zapper
Dearer than Poundshop, but this is more a taser disguised as a swat. The Vmax is alleged as 30000v with a rechargeable 3v Lithium battery kicking out 4v.
It incinerates, nay vapourizes little flying fuckers. My old one would leave houseflies that survived impact looking a bit wobbly, this one often doesn't leave anything worth picking up and causes a 'crack' that can be heard next door (as can my sniggering). Indeed, my wife still hollers every time, and I haven't even used it on her.
If you look at the spark, you get yellow spots in your vision, arc-eyes from a fly swat! I'm not touching the grid on this one.
Fantastic, It's cooler today but I'm leaving all the doors and windows open in the hope of more victims.
 
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