Things that make you go "Hmmm"

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Gobby, Jul 1, 2008.

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  1. Hi all,

    I came across this whilst surfing the net, just thought it might be worth putting on arrse...

    Apologies if any of these are lame, but this is what boredom do to you sometimes :oops:

    Top 50 Things that make you go "Hmmm..."

    Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
    Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
    Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
    Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
    How do a fool and his money GET together?
    Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
    How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
    If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
    If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
    If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
    What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
    What was the best thing before sliced bread?
    Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
    Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
    What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
    In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
    Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
    How come there aren't B batteries?
    If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
    How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
    Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
    Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
    How is it possible to have a civil war?
    If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
    If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
    Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
    If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
    Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
    How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
    How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
    How do you throw away a garbage can?
    How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
    How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
    Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
    If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
    If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
    What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
    Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
    Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
    Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
    Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
    What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
    When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
    What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
     
  2. You bored?
     
  3. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways? // Eh?
    Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? // Who cares?
    Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse? // Eh?
    Can you be a closet claustrophobic? // Who cares?
    How do a fool and his money GET together? // Some fcker elects him
    Why does Hawaii have interstate highways? // Erm - who cares?
    How is it that a building burns up as it burns down? // Does it? OH who cares?
    If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation? // Your fcking exceeding your self
    If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan? // Yawn
    If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
    What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
    What was the best thing before sliced bread?
    Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
    Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
    What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
    In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
    Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
    How come there aren't B batteries?
    If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
    How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
    Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
    Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
    How is it possible to have a civil war?
    If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
    If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
    Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
    If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
    Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
    How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
    How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
    How do you throw away a garbage can?
    How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
    How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
    Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
    If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
    If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
    What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
    Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
    Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
    Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
    Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
    What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
    When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
    What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

    I got that far before I looked for porn... Stop wasting my time...
     
  4. Look on the bright side Gobby, if someone gets hold of your computer you should be fairly safe compared to those belonging to some of the 'surfers' on here.

    Mindyou, regarding the braille one... why the hell do they put braille on the inside of lifts :roll:
     
  5. Here's another:

    Why is there only one monopolies commission?
     
  6. How does the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers get away with it's name? It doesn't have any engineers.

    (And I've just trawled through its trades to check :) )


    And I've yet to meet a civil engineer.
     

  7. Hmmmmmmmm wanka!

    Edited to add - I couldn't restrain myself and threw myself at this big juicy worm on a hook and await being reeled in.
     
  8. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Being strapped down in a chair in MDN's basement with black-nasty across your mouth.
     
  9. No Biped, last time that made me go 'AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH'.
     
  10. How come there aren't B batteries?
    Because no one wants to sound like a stuttering Mlaarrr when they ask for some: "Can I have some b-batteries please?"
     
  11. Another musing on a military theme:

    There are a lot of Scots in the Scots Guards and a lot of Irish in the Irish Guards. Even a lot of Welsh in the Welsh Guards.

    But I'll warrant that there are fewer people from Coldstream in the Coldstream Guards than there are people from Grenada in the Grenadier Guards.


    And....

    Adultery is a practice engaged in by adults. So what's the Infantry?
     
  12. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Is Edam a Holistic cheese?
     
  13. :D
     
  14. If in the Kingdom of the Blind, the one eyed man is King, how did we end up with this one eyed fcuker in charge of the country?
     
  15. Where did Barn Owls live before barns were invented?

    Where are clouds 1 through 8?

    Where are Heavens 1 through 6?

    How long, exactly, is a piece of string? (OK, I actually know the answer to that one...)