Things that irritate me

My sister-in-law likes her tea weak, really weak, piss-water weak. The problem is, at home if she makes tea everyone has to have it the same as her. No amount of 'could I have mine normal strength/builders' or whatever changes things. Even if my b-i-l makes it, it still has to be to her specs, FFS.
If we make her tea and she's handed anything that isn't just off white; the face. I've given her brews of all hues, for effect and really can't understand why she drinks tea at all as you can literally dunk a bag in a cup of water to just colour it and she'll drink it happily.
Top tip do not visit the stupid bitch . Problem solved
 
I hate walking into the public (pubic infested) bogs in a shopping centre for a crap, only to find some ignorant moron has pissed all over the bog seat after having a crap and leaving the detritus hanging between the bog seat and bowl.

I also hate it when there is no bog paper (again) and I have to resort to the old trick of using newspaper like we did in the old days.
Have a shit before you go out then you tight arrsed Porridge Wog.
 
If someone has the temerity to give me weak tea I’ll give em the dreaded deadings! One thing I can’t stand is weak tea. You should be able to stand the spoon up in it.
It should bite the end of the spoon off.

Mind you, as a lover of a decent cup of tea I would like to point out to anyone who works in the catering industry, a mug of luke warm water with a tea bag floating in it does not a decent cuppa make.
When some sporty Herbert attempts to charge me 2 quid for the privilege, I find myself coming over all abrupt....
 
Indeed! The latest fad is 'gluten free' which is a load of nonsense unless you actually have Chrones disease.
My 2 youngest grandkids are allergic to dairy, its not put on because the eldest would hurl for England 2 hours after anything with milk or cheese etc. Now aged 4 and they're slowly trying to introduce some milky stuff. Worse for his baby sister, soya intolerant as well as dairy. Loads of info out there now on packaging which tends to highlight in bold dairy stuff but not soya and its in pretty much everything.
Have you tried some of the goats milk products.?

The missus is a dairy spaz, from the lactose and the goats stuff is fine for her. It's not bad tasting either, I don't notice it in tea.
 
She visited NI recently. When she was asked if she liked County Down, she remarked that it wasn't the same since Carol Vordeman left.

( I may have stolen that from a fortnightly satirical mag )
 
Busy commuting train issues just now - twats who park their rucksack/,handbag on a seat on the off chance they'll get a free space ride into Victoria / Blackfriars stations.
Similar twats who on the announcement that the train is "shortly to arrive at Victoria / Blackfriars immediately jump up onto the corridor to spend the next 4 hours standing by closed doors waiting for them to open.

( I may have exaggerated the timeframe somewhat, still twats though. I mean is getting off a train some sort of competition I'm not aware of? ) Fcukwits the lot of them.

I reserve the last of my ire for Cops on London Bridge - that is 'Cnuts on phones'. Head down walking through one of the busiest commuter locations at a period in the mornings. It leads onto to Gracechurch Street where getting on the pavement is a challenge even allowing for the cyclists and motor traffic.
 
Busy commuting train issues just now - twats who park their rucksack/,handbag on a seat on the off chance they'll get a free space ride into Victoria / Blackfriars stations.
Similar twats who on the announcement that the train is "shortly to arrive at Victoria / Blackfriars immediately jump up onto the corridor to spend the next 4 hours standing by closed doors waiting for them to open.

( I may have exaggerated the timeframe somewhat, still twats though. I mean is getting off a train some sort of competition I'm not aware of? ) Fcukwits the lot of them.

I reserve the last of my ire for Cops on London Bridge - that is 'Cnuts on phones'. Head down walking through one of the busiest commuter locations at a period in the mornings. It leads onto to Gracechurch Street where getting on the pavement is a challenge even allowing for the cyclists and motor traffic.
I find train journeys an interesting bit of 'people watching'. There are always the same stereotypes abound.

It's hard to comprehend how some people think what they do is acceptable or even "trendy".
Maybe in their world it is I who is the dick??
 
Have you tried some of the goats milk products.?.
Nah there is a vast range of non dairy stuff now made from all kinds of weird stuff, like almonds.
 
Have you tried some of the goats milk products.?

.
Now the problem with your goat stuff, you know the goats cheese, goats milk.
Your actual problem with all that type of stuff is, oh and goats meat.
Your problem is

IT TASTES OF FUCKING GOAT!!!

Which leads me onto MasterChef.

I quite like it, even though on the celeb version half the time I doubt even the 'Celebs' own mothers would know who they are.
Zippy in glasses can be amusing and the smug Aussie mostly keeps his mouth shut and just rolls his eyes.

What pisses me off is everyone likes everything.
No one ever turns round and says 'I don't like fish' or lamb and so on.

Where are the normal people who when faced with Simons 'Rotted badgers anus on bed of saffron rice served with a slug trail foam' go "You know I don't like rice."?
Its always tuck in and criticise how long the anus has been allowed to rot.

I don't like fish, my wife doesn't like fish, our daughter doesn't like fish. I heard Frank Skinners show at the weekend when it was suggested that no one likes fish and people just pretend they do, which I can well believe.
Why does everyone on cookery programmes like everything?
 
If that is the case notify the Food Standards Agency and they will order a product recall
I'll look again, because I know I've seen it quite a few times, last time was last week. I will keep my eyes peeled.
 
Food Information Regulations Dec 2012 - Allergens
Celery, Cereals containing gluten, Crustaceans, Eggs, Fish, Lupin, Milk, Molluscs, Mustard, Nuts, Peanuts, Sesame seeds, Soya, Sulphur Dioxide

Reputable suppliers/producers and marketing outlets require BOLD print but you should have your attention drawn to the content, ie

Extract from the FSA website
How to label allergens
Products containing allergens can be labelled in a number of ways. For example you could list them in bold, contrasting colours or by underlining them.
 

goodoldboy

MIA
Book Reviewer
Now the problem with your goat stuff, you know the goats cheese, goats milk.
Your actual problem with all that type of stuff is, oh and goats meat.
Your problem is

IT TASTES OF ******* GOAT!!!

Which leads me onto MasterChef.

I quite like it, even though on the celeb version half the time I doubt even the 'Celebs' own mothers would know who they are.
Zippy in glasses can be amusing and the smug Aussie mostly keeps his mouth shut and just rolls his eyes.

What pisses me off is everyone likes everything.
No one ever turns round and says 'I don't like fish' or lamb and so on.

Where are the normal people who when faced with Simons 'Rotted badgers anus on bed of saffron rice served with a slug trail foam' go "You know I don't like rice."?
Its always tuck in and criticise how long the anus has been allowed to rot.

I don't like fish, my wife doesn't like fish, our daughter doesn't like fish. I heard Frank Skinners show at the weekend when it was suggested that no one likes fish and people just pretend they do, which I can well believe.
Why does everyone on cookery programmes like everything?
Because they're invited celebs who have had a couple of rehearsals.
 

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