Things that irritate me

So they can push certain dishes. Stuff that's approaching its use by date, or specials that haven't sold as well as we expect. We need the space for current stock that is selling, not storage for things that aren't.
I've got no issue with that and it's nice to draw my attention to dishes I might not immediately go for, however my bug-bear is when the 'concept' of the menu needs to be explained to me:

'Chef has created an artisan meringue of Venusian insect dishes that marry traditional Paleolithic concepts with post structuralist molecular cuisine........'

No mate - it's a burger bar
 
Bloody Xmas lights, you have people complaining about their elastictrickery bills and then covering every inch of their house in pointless, energy wasting, tat lights.
 
Bloody Xmas lights, you have people complaining about their elastictrickery bills and then covering every inch of their house in pointless, energy wasting, tat lights.
Biggest and first to go up (and last to go down) will very likely be under The Great Welfare "For life" Sponsorship program eg the White Lightening drinking SlimeBurger scoffing Big Telly goggling ....and generally a bit smelly..... Wolf Wearers.
In other words.....our Effin' money.
'Part from that they are alright.......
 
I did m'dear.
I was privileged to actually be there in 2003 and that is when I was permanently addicted.
I was staying in Albury/Wodonga on a long holiday and was also allowed to sit in one of the top cars I spotted in the Holden V8 workshop...when they spotted a certain stupid looking Scottish twat with his jaw on the pavement & his tongue stuck to their window. The smells, noises and being in the same room as utter explosive brute forces like these is unique.
So you weren't a tank crewman then? We got paid to do that. ;)
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
If there is a menu why is it necessary, as someone already stated, to have somebody reciting the menu to us?

Because someone has to translate some of the weird and wonderful expressions that chefs have taken upon themselves to start using to make their dishes sound like something pouncy.
 
Because someone has to translate some of the weird and wonderful expressions that chefs have taken upon themselves to start using to make their dishes sound like something pouncy.


It was amusing to discover via Anthony Bourdain's programmes that all the fancy swirls and reductions on your plate came from a selection of squeezy bottles......
 
Just go to a chippy. Honest food, menu above the counter that needs no explanation.

Feck the poncy hipsters.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Just go to a chippy. Honest food, menu above the counter that needs no explanation.

Feck the poncy hipsters.
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I still have no idea what a red pudding is!
 
Adverts full of fake happy actors making music (noise) whilst they eat.

Examples are when fast food repositories give out crap drinking glasses and a group of teenagers make drums out of them.

Other unhealthy foot long sandwiches are passed around like a sport as the soon to be fat cnuts dance around as if eating shit food is somehow a party.

I seriously cannot wait to die.
 
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I still have no idea what a red pudding is!
The fish might be very good (especially if the shop is near the coast and source locally), but my eyes were drawn reluctantly to two items; Deep Fried Pizza (sometimes known as a Pizza Crunch) and King Rib.

Deep Fried Pizza is self-explanatory. King Rib has nothing whatsoever to do with ribs, but is a tasteless deep fried mystery meat based patty with the qualities of a bath sponge. Both items are designed to absorb so much oil during the cooking process that the fryer needs to refilled on each occasion. The only thing missing from that menu is the 'Mock Chop' - something similar to the King Rib.

I can happily eat shite but I draw the line at any of those.
 
The fish might be very good (especially if the shop is near the coast and source locally), but my eyes were drawn reluctantly to two items; Deep Fried Pizza (sometimes known as a Pizza Crunch) and King Rib.

Deep Fried Pizza is self-explanatory. King Rib has nothing whatsoever to do with ribs, but is a tasteless deep fried mystery meat based patty with the qualities of a bath sponge. Both items are designed to absorb so much oil during the cooking process that the fryer needs to refilled on each occasion. The only thing missing from that menu is the 'Mock Chop' - something similar to the King Rib.

I can happily eat shite but I draw the line at any of those.
King Ribs are to mechanically recovered meat slurry as Crab Sticks are to fish sludge**. I.e. something that mother_mush would serve us to create the impression of a sophisticated dinner when in fact it was just a way of loading her brood with as many cheap calories as possible.

**For when a Doner Kebab is just too healthy, turkey twiglets though were always considered beyond the pale
 
King Ribs are to mechanically recovered meat slurry as Crab Sticks are to fish sludge**. I.e. something that mother_mush would serve us to create the impression of a sophisticated dinner when in fact it was just a way of loading her brood with as many cheap calories as possible.

**Turkey twiglets though were considered beyond the pale

I can't remember ever having tried a Turkey Twizzler but I have to confess that I was very nearly drawn to them when Jamie Oliver initiated his campaign against them.
 
Adverts full of fake happy actors making music (noise) whilst they eat.

Adverts for Birds Eye fish stuff...

Lots of happy smiling kids but you never see anyone actually put the advertised product in their mouth...


or their chicken stuff either...

 

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