Right that's it...
Point 1. Using irony instead of hypocrisy - just stop it!
Point 2. Using patronising instead of condescending - see Point 1.
Yes yes, they sort of mean the same thing, but they don't. In the same way an aeroplane can be fixed wing or rotary wing, but we don't call a helicopter an aeroplane.
Irony is more relevant to an effect having an uncanny resemblence (but not necessarily related) to the cause. Example:
"Mark was ran over by an ambulance"
Patronising someone, whilst it is condescending, it more specifically relates to situations such as false praise or assurance. Example:
"Please stay on the line, your call is very important to us". (like how do they know I'm sat in my skiddies and only calling to ask the woman what undies she is wearing).
Time for a beer.
And a w@nk.