Things that irritate me

Just having my first cold can of Kestrel Super (not as sweet as Special Brew Or Tennent's S.) on the street after being evicted at the end of last month.
It seems that it is not 'de rigueur' to do so whilst sporting a pristine fur felt racing trilby, regimental short reefer, polished veldtschoen, Rolex wristwatch with one's fag in an Ivory cigarette holder (fashioned as a pharoahonic sarcophagus).
Who'd a thunk it??
ETA The coat is the only one I had as I was at the High Court when the Empress and the cat were slung out by five bailiffs, two housing officers and two nasty policewomen who took all of my firearms and one bailiff stole our copy of the Radio Times. C@nts!
 
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Tool

LE
Just having my first cold can of Kestrel Super (not as sweet as Special Brew Or Tennent's S.) on the street after being evicted at the end of last month.
I thought that any super lager had to be enjoyed "at room temperature", not cold? Bad news about the reasons behind it though.
 
You’ll be singing Sandy Shaw’s Eurovision song next “With a whippet on a string”
I'd have to borrow one. The cat (currently cosying up to the wife's best mate & her niece at the former's abode, the fickle b@stard) would not stand for it. The git.
Maybe a sign with the legend 'Hopeless, need beer' or 'Will cripple dance for money or cheap sherry' may bear fruit.
 

Tool

LE
I'd have to borrow one. The cat (currently cosying up to the wife's best mate & her niece at the former's abode, the fickle b@stard) would not stand for it. The git.
Maybe a sign with the legend 'Hopeless, need beer' or 'Will cripple dance for money or cheap sherry' may bear fruit.
"Asking for donations toward alcohol research"?
 
Bic disposable razors. I have used safety razors for all of my shaving life with either Wilkinson or, if feeling extravagant, super-thin, super-sharp, Japanese Feather blades.
I have, on occasion, used other disposable razors with no problems.
Why is it that as soon as an orange handled booby trap of a Bic comes within a yard of my baby soft (ok, frazzled & leathery) fizzog, I am immediately lacerated from ear to neck and dripping with claret?
 
Bic disposable razors. I have used safety razors for all of my shaving life with either Wilkinson or, if feeling extravagant, super-thin, super-sharp, Japanese Feather blades.
I have, on occasion, used other disposable razors with no problems.
Why is it that as soon as an orange handled booby trap of a Bic comes within a yard of my baby soft (ok, frazzled & leathery) fizzog, I am immediately lacerated from ear to neck and dripping with claret?
Beards. About this shaving business...

For Supermatelot, RIP
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
When you have a flight of over 8,000 miles 16 hours and you get told that due to a passenger having a nut allergy there will be no hot food and only limited cold snacks
 
Watch another channel. Al Jazeera is good. Even GB news, for a short while, can be informative. BBC news is all 'Government Grr. Robbing Universal Credit'. Plus stoking panic buying of food and fuel.

No mention that folk have had an extra £20 a week for months, thanks taxpayer. Or questioning why UK folks don't want to be lorry drivers any more. AJ has its agenda but reports a lot more actual news from. Around the world.
I as many did worked through the lockdowns but did not receive extra pay
 
When you have a flight of over 8,000 miles 16 hours and you get told that due to a passenger having a nut allergy there will be no hot food and only limited cold snacks

Did you whack your todger out and smerf the offending passenger going "So much for you having a nut allergy"
 
Now, how about a bit of sympathy for the bloke who was dragged screaming to watch Wicked yesterday



A Sunday afternoon I am never getting back
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I'd have to borrow one. The cat (currently cosying up to the wife's best mate & her niece at the former's abode, the fickle b@stard) would not stand for it. The git.
Maybe a sign with the legend 'Hopeless, need beer' or 'Will cripple dance for money or cheap sherry' may bear fruit.
No chance of you cosying up to your wife's best friend and niece then?........just a thought



Oh, and any pics of your wife's best friends titties? asking for myself of course
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
Has anyone else noticed that rumbling, low-frequency 'Wooomf!' noise added to the action sequences of current cinematographic offerings? It bears absolutely no relation to any sound occurring in nature or in the real world. It is used in everything from over-elaborate vehicle crashes, spacecraft near misses, explosions, laser strikes, collapsing buildings.... absolutely anything.

I am sure that it is added by the post-production sound techs to fill up the sound spectrum and to add atmosphere. Of course, it is beloved of the kind of people who install very expensive, over-elaborate and unnecessary home movie sound systems, where the amplified, low-frequency rumbling will shake their (and their neighbour's) homes to their foundations.

Who needs fine acting, a storyline or a plot when you can saturate everything with excruciating levels of noise?
 
We've noticed on channel 5 that the sound levels vary wildly, especially when a program cuts in some ambient music - at an absurdly high level.
 
We've noticed on channel 5 that the sound levels vary wildly, especially when a program cuts in some ambient music - at an absurdly high level.

It's always been apparent everywhere when advertising is involved. Advertisers want maximum bang for their bucks and in order to project they will ensure that the audio levels are set high.

YouTube can be quite scary as well. This is more to do with the varying levels of editing skill of those putting up their stuff. Even within the same item the levels can veer from nearly inaudible to ear-splitting. YouTube, of course, do nothing to impose submission standards or to otherwise manage audio levels.
 
Creeping Yankisms.

Store instead of shop.
Hood instead of bonnet
Sidewalk instead of pavement
Twenny instead of twenty

And others which due to post Saturday night beveraging I can’t remember at the moment.

It’s a trait my primary school teacher friend has also noticed with the kids.

We should lament at what’s occurring with the language of Shakespeare, cos in the future, where will we be at?
 
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