Things that irritate me

Issi

LE
Endless celebrity travel programmes. Usually on Channel 5.

There must be a queue of celebs at the car hire place on Route 66.
 
This is the Wilfred Owen Memorial, located in the grounds of Shrewsbury Abbey.

wilfred-owen.jpg


It is made of Granite.

It was installed in June 2003...

Apparently it is deteriorating and will cost £6,500 to restore it.

WTF?????

It is made of Granite and has only been there for 17 fecking years FFS!

How much does a broom, a bucket of soapy water and a couple of scrubbing brushes cost? :x

From Wiki: Granite is nearly always massive (lacking any internal structures), hard, and tough. These properties have made granite a widespread construction stone throughout human history.
Jesus, I'd hate to see the rest of the helicopter.
 
How much does a broom, a bucket of soapy water and a couple of scrubbing brushes cost?
Ahh but they are using a leading specialist in conservation and restoration of monuments and memorials to do the job.
So add on the costs on site managers, risk assessments, health and safety equipment, mine tape, portacabin site office, portable toilets, a small bottle of Wickes Granite Cleaner - it all adds up you know.
 

JAD

LE
Endless celebrity travel programmes. Usually on Channel 5.

There must be a queue of celebs at the car hire place on Route 66.
Idea for a new channel 5/E4 show, the ever eager fame hungry "celeb" coach(es) be revved up and hired to do a one way gig, to say, I don't know, Switzerland. Maybe stop off al fresco style do a fact finding study and product survey at one of those clinics with the large welcoming glass fronts? The film crew could do a fly on the wall reality documentary as the wannabes go through the facility sampling the wares, as if on a wine tasting trip and then gauging reaction as the penny drops. It's a rough draft but I think you've got my drift here. Anyone care to polish this turd and think of a suitable "on coach" presenter for such talent fest?
 
Idea for a new channel 5/E4 show, the ever eager fame hungry "celeb" coach(es) be revved up and hired to do a one way gig, to say, I don't know, Switzerland. Maybe stop off al fresco style do a fact finding study and product survey at one of those clinics with the large welcoming glass fronts? The film crew could do a fly on the wall reality documentary as the wannabes go through the facility sampling the wares, as if on a wine tasting trip and then gauging reaction as the penny drops. It's a rough draft but I think you've got my drift here. Anyone care to polish this turd and think of a suitable "on coach" presenter for such talent fest?
Rylan Clark-Neal.

How about celebrity pass the parachute where the parachutes are not connected to the pack, though the celebs are not told this.
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
My mum and dad used to do this many years ago

Far worse was the porter at the railway station asking if I was on leave again as I waited for a train back to barracks.
 

JAD

LE
Rylan Clark-Neal.

How about celebrity pass the parachute where the parachutes are not connected to the pack, though the celebs are not told this.
Yes, oh yes. I was only mentioning our darling Rylan just yesterday for his irritating, annoying cinch car adverts. He would be a perfect host, due to his height he would keep tw@ting his smug swede in the limited clearance as he shimmies through the cargo area of the celeb C130. When the music stops, green light on and the load master bundles the no mark with the dud 'chute out over the white cliffs of Dover. Height of the Herc. at the discretion of the pilot obviously. All the the time our Rylan is gurning into the camera with copious amounts of claret dripping from serious head wounds until we run out of Z listers and Rylan collapses into the cargo netting. The ever green aircraft does a final loop over Weston on the Green or similar to make one last drop. Sadly, the series is likely to die after one episode. However, I'm sure there a some folk on here could help with naming the "no mark" pass the parcel wannabes. You have to be careful so as not to overload the aircraft, so it really has to be the dregs, like, I don't know, Kerry Catona for starters.
 

TAFKA

Old-Salt
Have you tried explaining to her the impossibility of describing the immensity of the fuck you don't give?

I've actually given up on that now, as well as explaining that the max fill level indicator on the coffee machine is there for a reason, there is a weight limit of laundry that the washing machine can handle etc, etc. Easier just to do it myself - See, I've been successfully trained.
 
What about this.
A celebrity takes a new Mother and her recently born child to see her soldier husband/partner whilst he is at his FoB in some sandy shitehole.
Oh come on, no one has thought of this one before have they?
 

JAD

LE
Ahh but they are using a leading specialist in conservation and restoration of monuments and memorials to do the job.
So add on the costs on site managers, risk assessments, health and safety equipment, mine tape, portacabin site office, portable toilets, a small bottle of Wickes Granite Cleaner - it all adds up you know.
So, we're not thinking that ROP's could do it with a galvanised fire bucket filled with "deepio", fire hose and a toothbrush tonight between 1800-2100hrs, before returning at 2200 in 2's for a final parade and "show monument clean" then? I think the BOS/ROS could be on for a cheeky little backhander to split with the Orderly Officer if it went well.
 
What about this.
A celebrity takes a new Mother and her recently born child to see her soldier husband/partner whilst he is at his FoB in some sandy shitehole.
Oh come on, no one has thought of this one before have they?
An Alan Carr Christmas Special for the troops perhaps?
 

JAD

LE
What about this.
A celebrity takes a new Mother and her recently born child to see her soldier husband/partner whilst he is at his FoB in some sandy shitehole.
Oh come on, no one has thought of this one before have they?
I get the impression vann, like me, this current lockdown is leaving you with far too much time on your hands to think. Not going out, apart from a daily 2 hour prowler is like site guard but without looking forward the thill of a handover clean the Kharzi routine after a 3 week stag. Keep 'em coming btw.
 
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