Things that irritate me

I was not aware that was any other way of doing it....
I will have you know , on Wednesday I had a cream tea at Sainsburys , I cut the scone in half...on one I spread the (strawberry) jam and then added the clotted cream, on the other I put the cream on first , then dolloped the jam onto it

I can report to the collective the result of this scientific experiment, there is no fucking difference
if anyone can give me a genuine reason this experiment , and the results are in doubt , I will be willing, at great cost to myself, to partake in further testing
 
I will have you know , on Wednesday I had a cream tea at Sainsburys , I cut the scone in half...on one I spread the (strawberry) jam and then added the clotted cream, on the other I put the cream on first , then dolloped the jam onto it

I can report to the collective the result of this scientific experiment, there is no ******* difference
if anyone can give me a genuine reason this experiment , and the results are in doubt , I will be willing, at great cost to myself, to partake in further testing
Thank you for your service to the cause of perfection in Cream Teas!
 

Auld-Yin

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I will have you know , on Wednesday I had a cream tea at Sainsburys , I cut the scone in half...on one I spread the (strawberry) jam and then added the clotted cream, on the other I put the cream on first , then dolloped the jam onto it

I can report to the collective the result of this scientific experiment, there is no ******* difference
if anyone can give me a genuine reason this experiment , and the results are in doubt , I will be willing, at great cost to myself, to partake in further testing
Remember, there is the right way, the wrong way and the army way!
 
I will have you know , on Wednesday I had a cream tea at Sainsburys , I cut the scone in half...on one I spread the (strawberry) jam and then added the clotted cream, on the other I put the cream on first , then dolloped the jam onto it

I can report to the collective the result of this scientific experiment, there is no ******* difference
if anyone can give me a genuine reason this experiment , and the results are in doubt , I will be willing, at great cost to myself, to partake in further testing
It's only ever been important to the kind of West Country hayseeds who otherwise would only have an annual cattle auction to look forward to.
 
I will have you know , on Wednesday I had a cream tea at Sainsburys , I cut the scone in half...on one I spread the (strawberry) jam and then added the clotted cream, on the other I put the cream on first , then dolloped the jam onto it

I can report to the collective the result of this scientific experiment, there is no ******* difference
if anyone can give me a genuine reason this experiment , and the results are in doubt , I will be willing, at great cost to myself, to partake in further testing
Godless heathen
 
It's only ever been important to the kind of West Country hayseeds who otherwise would only have an annual cattle auction to look forward to.
Now that all the cattle markets are closed we don't even have that!
 
Coming off any blocked motorway (choose your own M.. number) because of hold ups and finding everybody else has tried to do the same thing, hence all the local roads are blocked.
 
People who bring up politics.
I have to work with a rabidly left wing bloke who is always bringing it up and foisting his opinion on you without any sort of prompting. He even does it to strangers new had a customer in watching us overhaul a piece of engineering equipment and he turned the mention of a local dignitary into a ten minute rant on brexit with his own left sided view.
Embarrassing argumentative twat.
Why can't people keep there own views to themselves without trying to 'educate ' every one else?
 
It's only ever been important to the kind of West Country hayseeds who otherwise would only have an annual cattle auction to look forward to.
It is an old wives tale that is told to gullible emmets and grockles in order to make them buy over priced stale scones and cheap supermarket jam, described on the menu as traditional home made cream tea!
 
I will have you know , on Wednesday I had a cream tea at Sainsburys , I cut the scone in half...on one I spread the (strawberry) jam and then added the clotted cream, on the other I put the cream on first , then dolloped the jam onto it

I can report to the collective the result of this scientific experiment, there is no ******* difference
if anyone can give me a genuine reason this experiment , and the results are in doubt , I will be willing, at great cost to myself, to partake in further testing
But you forgot the thick layer of butter which acts as the essential foundation.
 
People who name their kids after the place of conception IE:- Brooklyn Beckum

Does that mean our first born should have been named, " Shepton mallet cattle market"
& our second, " Chingford golf course"
 
But you forgot the thick layer of butter which acts as the essential foundation.
Yeeeees! I was wondering why there was no butter, but as Doris went to the counter as I sought out an available table, she came back with the cream teas and a pot of tea each, I asked her why there was no butter, "because I am on a diet !"..... Please come quickly and take me sweet death ...FFS.... do I have to repeat the experiment?.... please say yes
 
Yeeeees! I was wondering why there was no butter, but as Doris went to the counter as I sought out an available table, she came back with the cream teas and a pot of tea each, I asked her why there was no butter, "because I am on a diet !"..... Please come quickly and take me sweet death ...FFS.... do I have to repeat the experiment?.... please say yes
Yes, but remember to get EXTRA butter.
 
Yes, that one as well. Has a certain twee faux folksiness to it, doesn't it?

Another couple of mispronunciations that irritate are ones that are often to be heard on the BBC are 'feed' for 'food' and 'burk' for 'book'. For reasons that are inexplicable to me, these pronunciations seem to be used, almost exclusively, by women.

I was delighted to hear the second example being referenced during one of Ed Reardon's frequent rants.
 
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People who bring up politics.
I have to work with a rabidly left wing bloke who is always bringing it up and foisting his opinion on you without any sort of prompting.
Embarrassing argumentative twat.
Why can't people keep there own views to themselves without trying to 'educate ' every one else?
Replace 'politics' with:
a) Veganism/vegetarianism
b) Sexual orientation
c) religion
 

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