Things that irritate me

Annoyances. The avian shitstorm caused by incontinent pigeons all over my decking, not to mention all the tree detritus they cause. Squirrels that have eaten every nut off my hazel tree for the last 30 years; never had a one. With the roads being quiet, those that do drive, do so at high speed and get honkingly pissed off if you get in their way at reasonable speeds. Snails on my pea plants. Whining leftist political commentators who couldn't suggest anything better without a money tree. Unfunny TV comedians. Quota filling dramatic productions that make a mockery of a writer's work and historical fact to further the political message. My aching, failing joints after a digging session in the garden. The bin man who hurls my wheelies into the middle of the drive. Well I think that's todays list covered. I must be having a gouty/piles day. At least the sun is out so time to work on the melanoma.
What size are your boots?
 
Annoyances. The avian shitstorm caused by incontinent pigeons all over my decking, not to mention all the tree detritus they cause. Squirrels that have eaten every nut off my hazel tree for the last 30 years; never had a one. With the roads being quiet, those that do drive, do so at high speed and get honkingly pissed off if you get in their way at reasonable speeds. Snails on my pea plants. Whining leftist political commentators who couldn't suggest anything better without a money tree. Unfunny TV comedians. Quota filling dramatic productions that make a mockery of a writer's work and historical fact to further the political message. My aching, failing joints after a digging session in the garden. The bin man who hurls my wheelies into the middle of the drive. Well I think that's todays list covered. I must be having a gouty/piles day. At least the sun is out so time to work on the melanoma.
I'm sure you left something out of that list for today.
 
Annoyances. The avian shitstorm caused by incontinent pigeons all over my decking, not to mention all the tree detritus they cause. Squirrels that have eaten every nut off my hazel tree for the last 30 years; never had a one. With the roads being quiet, those that do drive, do so at high speed and get honkingly pissed off if you get in their way at reasonable speeds. Snails on my pea plants. Whining leftist political commentators who couldn't suggest anything better without a money tree. Unfunny TV comedians. Quota filling dramatic productions that make a mockery of a writer's work and historical fact to further the political message. My aching, failing joints after a digging session in the garden. The bin man who hurls my wheelies into the middle of the drive. Well I think that's todays list covered. I must be having a gouty/piles day. At least the sun is out so time to work on the melanoma.
Something’s telling me, & I’m not sure what, so forgive my presumption, that, how can I put this? That you’re not entirely a happy camper.
 
Frikkin laddish fishermen who leave their frikkin litter lying around. Went for an evening amble and walked past a few of them on the 'beach' near us (and also not social distancing but that's another gripe). Next morning, this time for our daily jog, saw the empty beer cans, roll up filters and other crap left lying around in the same spot. And this is where there's a couple of litter bins within a few paces.

Some clever dick lawyer may point out that I didn't actually see them dropping it, but I've never seen that amount of litter when others have been in the same spot, so putting 2 + 2 together I think I'm right. And f*ck the lawyers.

Anyway, in case it was 'other people', frikkin 'other people' who leave their frikkin sh1t lying around when there's bins within a few paces. Grrrrrrrr.
 
Frikkin laddish fishermen who leave their frikkin litter lying around. Went for an evening amble and walked past a few of them on the 'beach' near us (and also not social distancing but that's another gripe). Next morning, this time for our daily jog, saw the empty beer cans, roll up filters and other crap left lying around in the same spot. And this is where there's a couple of litter bins within a few paces.

Some clever dick lawyer may point out that I didn't actually see them dropping it, but I've never seen that amount of litter when others have been in the same spot, so putting 2 + 2 together I think I'm right. And f*ck the lawyers.

Anyway, in case it was 'other people', frikkin 'other people' who leave their frikkin sh1t lying around when there's bins within a few paces. Grrrrrrrr.
I heard fishing being described as an 'activity' by some journo on the news the other day.

Inactivity would be a better moniker.
 
Factory churned & delivered "dinner box kits".
View attachment 473585
Diabolically bad nutritional value £0.00 per 100g for a kick off, and WFT please?
Landfill shit by the ton. Harrumph.:mad:
Lazy fekkers.
But they come in, like, amazing rough-looking, like, awesome cardboard boxes so, like, they're totally, like, eco-friendly, like.

Free the 5-a-day!

Or something.
 
You're sat reading something and someone comes up to you and asks you if you're reading. When you interrupt what you're reading and answer in the affirmative, laying on the sarcasm with a fucking shovel, they coyly ask if they can interrupt you.

What the actual cunting fuck do you think you've just done?!

99.9% of the time it's something utterly bone that 3 nanoseconds of thought would have dealt with, but they're clearly incapable of any fucking form of thought whatsoever.

Eugenics. We need it desperately if the species is to survive as a life form any higher than fungal deposits.
 
I watched that for the first time last week.

Suffice to say I didn't watch it this week. I could not believe the 'camp as John Inman' presenters or indeed the stitcher who was binned at the end, who 'liked sewing with Jersey because he made his dancing costumes with it'.

Picked for diversity box-ticking rather than seeing talent, imho.
Don’t watch the flower arranging programme then...
A friend of mine is a ace baker and got to the final cut of bake off. White, married with kids, both parents with responsible jobs. Chinned off.
 
Whacking them sounds a bit OTT. I'm sure a good beating, while not up to mafia spec, would do the job admirably.
My SIL asked me what I wanted for Christmas.
“A Tazer that looks like a whiteboard eraser please”
“Is that the one on Amazon?”


lying bitch...
 

Bob Upndown

War Hero
Room for the ones who ride their brakes downhill?
there’s a whole fcuking mass of cnuts who have no idea how to use a gearbox down hill or to assist smooth driving in traffic. That and those who don’t know how to go around a bend - if you really, really,no REALLY have to brake, complete before the commencement of the turn so the geometry can level and take you through.

NOT, you fcuking fcuktard, brake hard through the apex and wonder why your vehicle feels like a trawler in a gale.
 

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