Things that irritate me

You know what I reckon??

I reckon your “Full thousand yard stare” needs a bit more work.

Its a failure on your part. Had you been as ‘warry ’ and even ‘ally’ as you Thought you appeared..,this situation would have either not occurred ...or ended swiftly.
;)
My thousand yard stare has turned screaming kids in fecking supermarkets to jelly and clinging their mothers coat tails for dear life, it has stared bulls in the face and got them to back off. But bitches in theatres in semi blackness, needs reinforcing with the verbals.

Some people got no etticut FFS....
 
May I suggest you get a bit more practice in with the barracking fellow theatre goers.

Perhaps start with a couple of primary school nativity plays, and work up from there. ;)
I can barrack for Britain, I've done courses on barracking, I've won medals an all sorts. But when you've got your mum and dad with you, or your misses, it's a bit tricky doing barracking on a GT Scale.
 

Awol

LE
My thousand yard stare has turned screaming kids in fecking supermarkets to jelly and clinging their mothers coat tails for dear life, it has stared bulls in the face and got them to back off. But bitches in theatres in semi blackness, needs reinforcing with the verbals.

Some people got no etticut FFS....
Amateur. The trick is stare and say nothing, just stare......and stare....... and stare.....
 
Amateur. The trick is stare and say nothing, just stare......and stare....... and stare.....
I find staring & gurning all done while slightly bent forward with your hands on your thighs, then loudly breaking wind & soiling yourself works a treat for getting shot of unruly hoodlums.
The secret is to never break eye contact though. Important point there.
 
joke
[ johk ]
SEE SYNONYMS FOR joke ON THESAURUS.COM
noun
something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act:

He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.


something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce:

Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.


lol

j/k
 
My thousand yard stare has turned screaming kids in fecking supermarkets to jelly and clinging their mothers coat tails for dear life, it has stared bulls in the face and got them to back off. But bitches in theatres in semi blackness, needs reinforcing with the verbals.

Some people got no etticut FFS....
Is this you staring? Maybe THAT’S why the kids were screaming if it is

55F7D424-A233-43B7-B85C-CA05FCCCCDBC.jpeg
 
Fucking BBC sending some shite overpaid nobody journalist to tell us what the weather is like...FFS we KNOW what the weather is like, and asking some poor sod how they feel while the contents of their house/business is being dumped in a skip is fucking pointless and to think they are trying to save £40m, money wasting fucktards.
 

syrup

LE
******* BBC sending some shite overpaid nobody journalist to tell us what the weather is like...FFS we KNOW what the weather is like, and asking some poor sod how they feel while the contents of their house/business is being dumped in a skip is ******* pointless and to think they are trying to save £40m, money wasting fucktards.

Don't forget over to our correspondent at the other end of the street where surprisingly despite another camera crew and reporter it's still raining.
 
It really irritates me when someone won't answer a perfectly simple question.

Just had some Indian bint on the phone telling me my computer has got a virus on it and if I turned it on, she would tell me how to fix it. When I interrupted her and asked her what the colour of her underwear was, she wouldn't tell me. She even had the effrontery to tell me it was none of my business. Honestly, some people!
 
I've been out this week with brother in his truck do ing pallet deliveries to private residences in the Deeside and Cairngorms.
Irritating, is no house name or number and no reply or going to voicemail on the contact number.
Irritating, is asked to wheel a 1 tonne pallet on a pallet barrow up a gravel drive, Its kerbside he tells them, they get upset.
Irritating,is the la-de-dah ones "just stack it in the summerhouse round the back my man" this is the best bit when he points out its a two man lift, " well get your passenger to help " , and out of the cab I fall tethered only by my harness to a cry of " Give us a hand G'uvnor ". We left having dumped it on the pavement pi$$ing ourselves.
Oh and companies who order stuff for delivery direct to their customers house (job site ) without telling them and expecting a old boy / wifie to deal with it.

but most all Irritated by the throbbers who treat the ordinary working bloke like a bit of sh~t
God knows how he puts up with it.
Yet the ordinary folk with house names,map refs, explicit directions and working mobile are a pleasure, this week we've had plenty of brews, jar of honey , homeade bread ( sod the diabetes ) and a hug from a mad cat lady !
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
The M25. Again.

Actually not the road but the entitled, unable-to-anticipate w@nkers who drive on it.
 

RigPig

War Hero
The Mrs used to have a 64 plate Mini Cooper. It had a nice exhaust noise, burbling and a bit rumbling even when just pulling off the drive. She has just changed the car for an 18 plate Cooper Convertible (mid life crisis car). Same engine, so I expected the same exhaust note. No, it’s quiet and no rumble or burble, sounds like any other car out there now. Even she says it sounds boring and she hates most car exhaust noise. Nice V8 drive past and to her it’s just noise, but the Cooper sounded good. Does anybody have any idea what updates mini made to 18my cars.

Maybe I could have asked in the automobile threads but it still irritates both her and me. I even took the thing out and caned it in sport mode to try and hear the exhaust note.

RP.
 
The Mrs used to have a 64 plate Mini Cooper. It had a nice exhaust noise, burbling and a bit rumbling even when just pulling off the drive. She has just changed the car for an 18 plate Cooper Convertible (mid life crisis car). Same engine, so I expected the same exhaust note. No, it’s quiet and no rumble or burble, sounds like any other car out there now. Even she says it sounds boring and she hates most car exhaust noise. Nice V8 drive past and to her it’s just noise, but the Cooper sounded good. Does anybody have any idea what updates mini made to 18my cars.

Maybe I could have asked in the automobile threads but it still irritates both her and me. I even took the thing out and caned it in sport mode to try and hear the exhaust note.

RP.
Most likely detuned/emasculated to meet more stringent emissions rules, if it bugs you that much, and you don't mind stumping up some cash, then take it to someone who deals in aftermarket stuff and get a 'legal' but louder exhaust?
 
Mel Gridiron on R2 yesterday. I don't think I've ever heard a more obsequious presenter in my life.

I genuinely started to feel my teeth itching.
 
My evening today will include the world's gobbiest waitress, an utter fucking incompetent, who fucks up something every single shift, and the world's slowest self propelled Hesco. The fat wanker.

I'm not pleased.
 
And there we have it. The first **** up of the evening.

Failing to mention a food allergy.
I do enjoy reading about the goings on in the world of haute cuisine.
 

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