Things that irritate me

Women in Petrol Stations that take an age to fill up, then spend half an hour trying to find their purse in the ******* cavernous bag they have draped over their arm before realising it is in the ******* car all the time, then when they get back to the car they spend an hour putting on their seat belt putting everything back in the handbag/kitbag.... Meanwhile the rest of the population are queuing up behind them..

GET A ******* GRIP, YOU *******, FUCKWITTED IMBECILES.....and breath.
Same applies to cashpoints. What the fuck takes em so long?
 
Same applies to cashpoints. What the **** takes em so long?
And at supermarket checkouts.

All my groceries gone through. How nice. Oh, I need to pay. Oh now where is my purse? Which card shall I use? Loyalty card? It's here somewhere...
 
You forgot to add, pulling the rear view mirror down and fluffing their hair and doing their makeup before readjusting the mirror and then driving off.
Our Septic cousins recognised this situation a while ago..

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: ‘Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.’
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake.
 
Our Septic cousins recognised this situation a while ago..

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: ‘Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.’
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake.
Well, a bit of stereotyping but man do women carry around so much stuff in their handbags. They would be great to have around when you need something in the middle of nowhere...
 
People who can't even be bothered to flush the toilet after use - listen dick head I've been waiting outside for you to get out and you can't be bothered to flush your own stuff. Twats. Men sometimes are disgusting creatures, the amount of people I see walking out of the doors after a slash or dump in London is amazing. Not even a cursory splash of water on their hands.
 
It should be a simple case of - what's your interest in this field/ company and how much would you accept as an offer of money. 2 or 3 month probation contract and if you're useless at it, we fire you. That's it. What a faff.
Disagree because the interviewer needs to find out whether you will fit into their team/organisation or be the kind of disruptive, idle or needy sod that isn't worth employing because they take so much managing.

And whether you really know what you claim to know, in case you put yourself or others into danger.
 

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