Things that irritate me

I just got a ticket requesting a purchase and installation of a fax machine for one of our departments.

FFS, are we in the 70's again.
Last week it was a fax machine, today I'm asked to buy a new dot matrix printer.

I need to go out and buy a couple of hundred shares in Apple before time reasserts itself.
 
The moment you hit the motorway and your knackers start to itch, you can fucking guarantee that you’ll also get caught up in traffic and it’s nearly impossible to scratch them without looking like you’re having a wank, you can also guarantee there will be a woman in the cars beside you to make it even more awkward
Awkward?

Stimulating I would call it.
 
Last week it was a fax machine, today I'm asked to buy a new dot matrix printer.

I need to go out and buy a couple of hundred shares in Apple before time reasserts itself.
Surely the dot matrix will be more expensive to buy and run than a modern jobby?
 
Surely the dot matrix will be more expensive to buy and run than a modern jobby?
Thank Gawd for Dot Matrix! I used to have to fill in reams of MoD forms (Form 640, if memory serves). They were in Christ knows how many coloured copies and were luckily available fan-folded, tractor fed. With a dot-matrix printer set to hammer-the-bejesus it would just penetrate to the last layer. With the R.E. depot addresses in a file and some cut'n'pasting, the job could be done lazily. Laser/jet couldn't have done that.
 
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Throbbers that 1 put bread in the conveyor toaster single file when there is ample room for side by side and 2 stand right in front of toaster in the way instead of getting the rest of the breakfast. Explaining this to the female porker didn't go down well.
 
Throbbers that 1 put bread in the conveyor toaster single file when there is ample room for side by side and 2 stand right in front of toaster in the way instead of getting the rest of the breakfast. Explaining this to the female porker didn't go down well.
Conveyor toasters in hotels that are set so low you have to put the bread through twice to get it a decent colour.
 
Thundercunts who use the word racist in answer to anyone who doesn't share their POV, the utter thundercunts.

Did I mention they're all weapons-grade thundercunts.
 
quote[ Just got back after a week in Tenerife (yes, I know, but we found an excellent boutiquey villa place away from the Chavopolis that is Playa) ]

nothing wrong with Tenerife been there many times , the clientele who go there are as entitled to a holiday as you are
handy tip though, if it is a package , hotel should be at least of 5 star if all inclusive , which would approximate to a 3 star decent hotel elsewhere
remember your table manners when dining at night, the staff notice very quickly and there is usually better interaction between you and them, try this , in the bar , when they pour out the huge amounts of spirits when you ask for a drink, say thank you but could you make that Gin and Tonc with much less gin , point out what a proper double should be , by the time you leave the staff will know you aren't just there to get wasted , and are generally much friendlier
Avoid the noisy chavs like the plague, but remember also they also paid the same as you for their holiday
if in Playa or Los Cristianos , avoid the area around Veronicas like the plague (is it still there I wonder), but there is a nice German restaurant just along the road from it and cafe und kuchen are very nice in the late afternoon after your walk
consider Lanzarote as an alternative , especially if it is winter sun your after on a cheap holiday, ( cheap holiday, you wont get a decent week A/I for less than £400), it's a much nicer Island

or go somewhere more to your liking , but who you get seated beside is in the lap of the gods if you, like me, travel cattle class
 
Conveyor toasters in hotels that are set so low you have to put the bread through twice to get it a decent colour.
Not meaning to sound Know it all, but if the toast on a conveyor toaster is underdone the it is moving too fast to toast it properly
my biggest gripe about this is they always remove the knob so you cant adjust the speed to suit your own preference how your toast is "toasted"
 

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