Things that irritate me

TV executives and their moronic ideas.
Settled down to watch the new series of Car SOS last night on E4 and discover that in someone infinite wisdom has employed an announcer who has a fairly major speech impediment.
Isnt the one job of an announcer to speak clearly? I mean I don't expect John Snagge but I at least want to understand what the hell they're saying.
What next the bint off Watchdog working on Topgear?
 
Mongs who manage to struggle through a full 22+ year engagement and still don't feel uneasy going on about Ghurkas, the Naffi, Nissan huts.... oh and BOAR, if they ever served in Germany.
 
Mongs who, having served (allegedly), still can't spell NAAFI, BAOR or Nissen.
 
Kids in fucking restaurants again...it was only Morrison's.but I was carrying a tray with two pots of boiling tea, where she came from, , I have no idea, but her brother was chasing her around , tripped me and luckily the tea went away from her, and all over my fucking trousers
Could have been a badly scalded 2year old
they're your fucking kids lady... Fucking look after them
no ....oh just carry on looking into your fucking mobile phone then.....
 
I couldn't help noticing that you're not having any trouble with 'Ghurkas'.

Still, three out of four probably counts as a pass.
Yes, I recall a pass for the RMP at Sutton Coldfield was 25% ;)
 

greyfergie

MIA
Book Reviewer
Feckin lorrys at night that are lit up like the worlds biggest Christmas trees. With lit up Mitchelin men on the corners, and led lights sooo bright they’re a hazard to shipping.... I wonder how much of a twat they are perceived to be by other truckers when they drive into the services for a cup of tea?
 
It shouldn’t bother me, but everytime I see all those EU flags fluttering away outside Westminster (in News reports), I feel a surge in my BP and a dip in my mood. I detest that flag!
 
It shouldn’t bother me, but everytime I see all those EU flags fluttering away outside Westminster (in News reports), I feel a surge in my BP and a dip in my mood. I detest that flag!
Fuckingbrexit. Not the whole concept of politicians ignoring the will of the voting population, but the mongtards shouting outside Parliament when the broadcasters are trying to "educate" the viewing public. The very same mongtards who have posted the EU flags. F-tw@s.
 
People who sit on the sofa next to insomniacs then promptly fall asleep & snore like a freight train.

Just to stick it in and break it off further they then cannot be roused from this noisy slumber for more than 5 seconds at a time so every attempt to get them to go to bed is like a session of stop motion animation.

Just go to fcuking bed will you! I can't sleep so the last thing I want to hear is you constantly snoring in my ear, and being huffy with me because I'm near psychotic by 0300 hrs does not help.
 
People who sit on the sofa next to insomniacs then promptly fall asleep & snore like a freight train.

Just to stick it in and break it off further they then cannot be roused from this noisy slumber for more than 5 seconds at a time so every attempt to get them to go to bed is like a session of stop motion animation.

Just go to fcuking bed will you! I can't sleep so the last thing I want to hear is you constantly snoring in my ear, and being huffy with me because I'm near psychotic by 0300 hrs does not help.
Life's hard on the night bus, especially if you're the driver.
 
People who sit on the sofa next to insomniacs then promptly fall asleep & snore like a freight train.

Just to stick it in and break it off further they then cannot be roused from this noisy slumber for more than 5 seconds at a time so every attempt to get them to go to bed is like a session of stop motion animation.

Just go to fcuking bed will you! I can't sleep so the last thing I want to hear is you constantly snoring in my ear, and being huffy with me because I'm near psychotic by 0300 hrs does not help.
My missus nods off watching the telly, turning the volume down is usually a sure fire way to wake her up

Ironically shouting at her and she continues snoring, but make the place quiet and she wakes up
 
That's a Defensive Driving technique, sometimes know as '2 And 2': as long as you can see 2 tyres with 2 points of contact with the road, you have space in which to react.
Also known as Tyres and Tarmac. Learnt on a defensive driving course the bearded airline sent me on before I went off to Jo'burg in '96 to setup the flight operations. And yes, I did need to use the skills...
 
People who, with a captive audience on a flight, talk at their fellow pax and won't STFU.

Just got back after a week in Tenerife (yes, I know, but we found an excellent boutiquey villa place away from the Chavopolis that is Playa)

Row behind us on the way out was a South African couple, window and middle seats. Aisle seat was occupied by a female version of Viz's Cockney Wanker.

Probably about 65 but looked at least 108, skin that made her look like she's been set on fire and put out with a cricket bat, blinged up with Elizabeth Duke tat and smelling like a pub carpet.

Pretty much as soon as she's parked her arse, she was off. ''Allo, my darlin's, my name's Ginge'' and so it went on....and on....and on.....

I immediately went into lockdown mode (noise cancelling headphones and a book). 0A though is made of sterner stuff and loves to earwig. Some pearlers that were noted:

''Sarrrf Afrika? Nah, you wouldn't fakkin catch me there, I'd likely be raped from what I hear...''

''I'm going aaat wiv me girlfriends, Shell's got a flat in Playa and we go out wivaat the boys for a good girls 'oliday. Though we might not be good girls..." (cackle, cackle, hacking cough, hawk up phlegm, etc.)

''Ooooh, you're a surgeon are you? My Tel was on the buses for 30 years, Gawd bless 'im''

''Ritz Carlton, what's the fackin Ritz Carlton? Is that a resort?''

and on.....for four hours....

The couple clearly had the patience of a saint. We bumped into them at the baggage carousel. I took the opportunity to commiserate with them and ask them if they'd forgotten their headphones and books. Poor b*gger, he said that the kit was in the overhead bin and he'd planned on getting it out after take off. Once Ginge was in full flow, he didn't want to offend. Silly sod!

Slight thread drift - going through the terminal on the way home, 0A and I quickly decided it would be a good idea to try not to smile too much as having a full head of teeth would likely attract attention...
 
Fuckingbrexit. Not the whole concept of politicians ignoring the will of the voting population, but the mongtards shouting outside Parliament when the broadcasters are trying to "educate" the viewing public. The very same mongtards who have posted the EU flags. F-tw@s.
That's no way to refer to the BBC.

Wait a moment.

<pause>

Yes it is.

As you were. Carry on.
 

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