Things that irritate me

Right. This pisses me off. As a boat dweller, I spend alot of time carrying bags of coal etc to and from the boat. No prob. But why, as I'm plodding along with my burden, does some utter píss gargling one-person twát riot have to say; "that looks heavy"? Every. Fücking. Time.

I know it's fücking heavy, you utter mong. I want to save my breath for carrying it to a place where I can put it down, you píss-stained waste of a collection of molecules in loose formation, not stop and have a conversation about how heavy the fücking thing is.

As I was getting ready to carry an empty gas bottle (not actually that heavy) to replace it, I thought to myself; "I bet some total knobcheese tells me how heavy this looks". My prophecy came to pass within 500 yards of setting off.

Whilst informing me how heavy the empty gas cylinder looked, he also allowed his uncontrolled dogs to get under my feet for extra fückwit points. Thus being in a perfect position to fulcrum me over so I can brain myself with the bottle I'm carrying.

This may or may not become part of a post called 'cünts on the canal'.

And breathe.
 
Right. This pisses me off. As a boat dweller, I spend alot of time carrying bags of coal etc to and from the boat. No prob. But why, as I'm plodding along with my burden, does some utter píss gargling one-person twát riot have to say; "that looks heavy"? Every. Fücking. Time.

I know it's fücking heavy, you utter mong. I want to save my breath for carrying it to a place where I can put it down, you píss-stained waste of a collection of molecules in loose formation, not stop and have a conversation about how heavy the fücking thing is.

As I was getting ready to carry an empty gas bottle (not actually that heavy) to replace it, I thought to myself; "I bet some total knobcheese tells me how heavy this looks". My prophecy came to pass within 500 yards of setting off.

Whilst informing me how heavy the empty gas cylinder looked, he also allowed his uncontrolled dogs to get under my feet for extra fückwit points. Thus being in a perfect position to fulcrum me over so I can brain myself with the bottle I'm carrying.

This may or may not become part of a post called 'cünts on the canal'.

And breathe.
It's called "Making conversation." Similar to "You've missed a bit." when you're washing the car. Every single time.
The cunts.
 
Reading a book or watching a movie and someone either rolls up and asks what you're doing (missing the fucking glaringly obvious fact you're reading a book or watching a movie), or just begins speaking to you as if you've been sat there all the time staring at nothing waiting for them to come up and start talking (once again missing the fucking glaringly obvious).
 
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Reading a book or watching a movie and someone either rolls up and asks what you're doing (missing the fucking glaringly obvious fact you're reading a book or watching a movie), or just start speaking to you as if you've been sat there all the time staring at nothing waiting for them to come up and start talking (once again missing the fucking glaringly obvious).
"How can you read a book in a pub?"
"Very fucking easily - if people don't keep bothering me."
 
“I got off of the bus”
“Really,” I say, “did you get on of the bus?”

Or “Y’know”
“No, I don’t know”
(Repeat ad nauseum)
Back on topic: My SME SIL who irritates me more than the itching powder we made from Rose Hips back in the day, which is probably banned as a biological weapon or counts as ABH these days...
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
It most likely doesn't happen now but used to annoy me when going home on leave/grant/pass in uniform and to hear the first person I met say "Hello, when are you going back?"
 

skid2

LE
Book Reviewer
View attachment 359434
This knob was constantly pushing himself in front of the cameras today, as Politicians were being interviewed about the Budget.
Part of me admires his sheer determination, but a bigger part of me thinks he’s a twat!
I've seen quite a lot of him this last week, he's got it worked out. They move to a two camera system and he watches the camera people and positions himself accordingly.
He played a blinder if that was him drowning out Rees Moggs ' aw shucks I'm only a humble backbencher' press conference. The funniest thing I've seen in ages
 

skid2

LE
Book Reviewer
The late aged P. Due to return home, for probably the last time. 'Ok. I'll pick him up and run him home'.
'You can't Mr Skid he has to go home by ambulance'
'Really, OK'
Told him I'd see him later and went into work for an hour or two. Phone rings. No sign of parent. So off I go back to hospital and there he is sitting out in a chair, dressed and with his belongings in a plastic bag.
'Still here'?
'Are you here to take me home'? (He couldn't sit in a car for forty minutes yet could spend a couple of hours in a chair)
Give me a minute
There's a sort of mission control where these two suddenly start looking busy as I arrive.

'Hi, (big smile) it's skid the elder, he's meant to be going home, but he's still waiting on an ambulance'.
'We're doctors'
'Super, get on the phone, pull some rank and find out where the ambulance is, please'.
One of them did. Ending the conversation with 'I don't give a fuck, get one here now'. And slammed the phone down. Looked at me and said 'Sorry, they forgot about him and have allocated the days runs'
Her mate gets on the phone and with some more difficult conversation. '20 minutes, I'll sort out some tea and toast'.

'Great can you get some for my dad, too'
'Your dad is that the old guy with the medals'? (His last day out was Remembrance Sunday).
'That's him'
'He can have tea and toast' .
 
It most likely doesn't happen now but used to annoy me when going home on leave/grant/pass in uniform and to hear the first person I met say "Hello, when are you going back?"

Still getting that. Very annoying. Out of the sandpit on leave and the first thing people want to know is when I'll be buggering off again.
 
I've seen quite a lot of him this last week, he's got it worked out. They move to a two camera system and he watches the camera people and positions himself accordingly.
He played a blinder if that was him drowning out Rees Moggs ' aw shucks I'm only a humble backbencher' press conference. The funniest thing I've seen in ages
Needs a sharpened bicycle spoke in the kidney.
 
The almost consistent depictions in adverts and TV programmes of male black mixed race couples.
Mixed race families are c.2% of the population, of these c.80% of mothers are white (roughly culled from gov.uk figures), so reflects the demographic, but not proportionately. BAME are c.8% of the population but grossly over represented in advertising, but we mustn’t upset the frozen precipitation...
Ask for a ‘black coffee’ in (frinstance) Starbucks and you get looked at as if you’d ordered a turd sarni, however, ask for a ‘flat white’ and you’re 3% more hipster...
 

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