Things that dont work on me Landy

The handbrake. Obviously.

Heater

Rubber seals that stop the wind getting in.

Radio? Pah. Dont make me laugh.

Brakes in the wet.

Brakes in the dry.

Brakes.

The engine if there is a R in the month. And sometimes when there is not.

The transfer box when its been whelted.

The transfer box when it hasnt.

Jesus. Why do we bother.

The only thing that works is me Landy spiders. I have two. Mary and Torquil.

 

You have strange names for them...

I just call mine "Left" and "Right".

It helps when trying to follow the satnav...



Lits

Edited to add: The boy did notice that, on the way to school, Lefty was trying to repair its web at 45mph. Righty was well hidden in its lair at the bottom of the wing mirror.

 

All those things will work if you love your landy and show it. A bouquet of oil, a surprise present or two - a negligee of waxoyl, perhaps a candlelit supper of leadfree.

I suspect you're having an affair with a Lada Niva and have been neglecting the old thing.

...My brakes are fucked, too.

 

Sounds a fine characterful machine and just in its prime. Good for at least another 30 years.



Just had a galvanised chassis put on mine.....

 

SRS warning light keeps winking at me but apart from it marking its territory everything is cool (fingers, arms, legs crossed)

 

Had to change the rear diff in mine recently but then drove to Cornwall and back (800 miles)with only one significant snag - exhaust popped apart and I had to weld it back up. Good for 70 on the motorway with the windscreen down to reduce drag

Mine's 54 years old.....

 

Any one else get a bad back from driving miles and miles in a Mk2 jobby?

 

No - mine's a S1 (107) - no back problems, cramped legs etc. Very comfy.

 

Lucky bugger! I used to get terrific back pains after driving from Hamshire to Scotlandshire in ours.

 

I've loved a '91 127, it never let me down always sounded sexy and did i say never let me down

 

I gave them up when the Queen took her shilling back, one question what is that smell?

 

I have a Freelander
If you shut either of the front doors the rear window (electric) will wind itself down
Somedays it just cuts out somedays it's fine

It's why I will always defend that we should keep the guys who built them in jobs
You can't teach any monkey the skills required to take a perfectly fitting door and still manage to get it to shut with a one inch gap at the top
It takes years of practise

 

Land Rovers are like women; they leak when you don't want them to, moan on long journeys, embarrass you in front of friends and peers, and consume more money than you ever anticipated once you've commited yourself to one.

 

You do know why LR never bothered with labelling switches, don't you?

Complete waste of effort, since none of them worked.

 

That's because the electrics were made by Lucas, the true Prince of Darkness