Things that are different in CIVDIV......

[Certa_Cito]

Here´s a few things that I have noticed about CIVDIV over the last few years:


Punctuality: Why do people walk into a meeting at 09:02 and think that they are on time. You are not on time, you are late !!

Teamwork: It exists to a certain extent but not all the time. The next time you´re doing overtime, (to all squaddies, that means extra work for extra dosh) take a look around you. It will always be the same faces. If you should go on one of these civvy team building courses, look for the ex squaddies. They will be working as a team; will finish all command tasks first and will be first in the bar.

Backstabbing: To all serving squaddies who think that the Army are a bunch of backstabbers. Wait until you hit CIVDIV. They´ll smile in your face whilst kicking you in the bollocks.

Etiquette: Whilst lagging into an empty wine bottle at Mess Dinners is "acceptable", please do not try this at a civvy business dinner. For some reason they tend to have a severe sense of humour failure when this happens.

Trust: You will seldom find people in CIVDIV who you wouldn´t trust with your wallet, beer or wife but who you would trust with your life.

Swagging: Contrary to popular belief, there are civvies out there who are absolute beer monsters and who can swag for Britain. Get them on the port first !!


Any other points that can be added ??

 

[B_AND_T]

The sense of humour.

 

[TheBigUn]

The work clothes

 

[Giblets]

Despite many requests in CIVDIV, I am not allowed to ge a gun and take it to bed with me.

Going to a competing company in CIVDIV and smashing seven bells out of them and there 'mess' gets you more time in glasshouse than forces.

There are no pubs in CIVDIV that have signs saying 'No Public'

 

[terroratthepicnic]

CIVDIV don't apprieciate the finer qualities of talking about your last poo, and for some reason farting in a lift just before you get out isn't funny.

 

[Certa_Cito]

I´m lucky there B&T. Stayed in Germany but I work for a very small department in a big company. Apart from the secretary and one other bod, everybody else is either ex Polizei, Bundespolizei or Feldjäger. Chuck two ex Brit squaddies in for good measure and the humour/banter is still there. Just a different language

 

[BeerFun!]

Swagging: Contrary to popular belief, there are civvies out there who are absolute beer monsters and who can swag for Britain. Get them on the port first !!

I have yet to find any! Im becoming known in the company as unbeatable, with young thrusters making a beeline to me to prove themselves on drinks nights, only to end up dribbling wreaks!
Downside is that its becoming expensive to get drunk!

Civvies cant drink! the closest are rugger players but thats it!

 

[amazing__lobster]

It's very refreshing to find someone in CivDiv who you can enjoy banter with like a squaddie mucker.

CivDiv do not appreciate swearing during meetings/presentations.

 

[Certa_Cito]

Hmmm, do coppers count as "real" civvies cos I´ve met a few of them who can drink......

 

[rickshaw-major]

The Universal Company Motto - Fcuk you, I'm alright.

 

[Mighty_doh_nut]

In Civvy Street I have yet to 'Stand to' and although I march myself everywhere to save me walking its not compulsary.

I don't strike seize and grasp my rifle in a Y like grip and noone yells 'one fcuking sausage' at me at the hotplate

Very rarely do I get CS gas in my eyes and my respirator isn't constantly glued to my hip.

Somethings are the same though, when I call people 'Sir' I still don't mean it and on occasion I do swamp the bed, I'm still 'mummies icckle soldier' and I can't help saying 'As you were' and 'Say again over' ten years on

 

[rickshaw-major]

Company Aims have more than one sentence and don't start with "To..."

 

[Certa_Cito]

How about PC ? I don´t know how bad it is in the Army at the moment, but in CIVDIV it´s a bloody nightmare

Was on a business trip over the big pond and some tech was whinging about only having 6 hours kip the night before. Quite a few heads turned when I told him to stop being a big girls blouse and get a fcuking grip ! I thought I was being quite diplomatic myself, cos there were a few other phrases going through my head at the time..........

 

[Oneshot]

Civdiv companies don't understand the essence of a good mission statement.

You never see "......in order to......."

And I will concurr that few Civdiv people truely know how to drink! The nearest I found in my company started the night with a shandy "to line the stomach!", i thought that was what pie and chips was for!!!

 

[hallveg]

I dont work with any but right know but i have and i now know for certain that resent disasters/drama's are no-go for jokes, ie the Ipswitch murders, or princess Di or anything involving kids, all of which most squaddies think funny. ive still got 9 years to push and already im as scared as a Ipswitch whore on dog stag (i know they've got him but MDN is still out there)

 

[Certa_Cito]

Port, gentlemen, port !! As a starter, in between courses and of course at the end. The more, the better. It gets them everytime and they´re on their last legs before you really get going.

DISCLAIMER The port approach will not work on ex squaddies. Especially if they were long term members of the Sgts and WOs Mess. If you should notice a "civvy" taking too much pleasure in his port, ask him if he wants an empty wine bottle. If a smile comes straight onto his face, you know he´s "ex"

 

[rickshaw-major]

Port, gentlemen, port !! As a starter, in between courses and of course at the end. The more, the better. It gets them everytime and they´re on their last legs before you really get going.

DISCLAIMER The port approach will not work on ex squaddies. Especially if they were long term members of the Sgts and WOs Mess. If you should notice a "civvy" taking too much pleasure in his port, ask him if he wants an empty wine bottle. If a smile comes straight onto his face, you know he´s "ex"

You are of course quite correct. Myself and another fellow ex-woopert went to someones fare thee well and started on quantities of the stuff. CIVDIV friendly forces crumbled and collapsed at the onslaught. Bloody Civvies!

 

[backblast]

There is no straight talk in Civ Div,some of the Bloke's i work with are unbelievable,they are alway's harping on about putting grievences in against people and running to the Union every five minute's.My suggestion's such as "Having it out with people face to face" or asking people if they would like to "Discuss matter's after work" off work's property alway's seem to fall on deaf ear's...

 

[Oneshot]

Thats also a very good point backblast.

If you have a problem, either do something about it or shut the feck up.

I'm as sympathetic as the next person, but if you keep going on about the same thing and don't have the balls to change your own life, then I'm not going to do it for you!!!!

 

[forniup]

I dont work with any but right know but i have and i now know for certain that resent disasters/drama's are no-go for jokes, ie the Ipswitch murders, or princess Di or anything involving kids, all of which most squaddies think funny. ive still got 9 years to push and already im as scared as a Ipswitch whore on dog stag (i know they've got him but MDN is still out there)

I can vouch for the above. At a works dinner buring the pre dinner drinks I read out a Ipswich Joke only to recieve a ten minute lecture on how sick I was.
Not all non military types are like this. After my "chat" my boss came over and told me he thought it was "fucking funny" and bought me a beer