Things not to do in a public toilet

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Old Timer, Oct 12, 2012.

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  1. I came across a guide on a joke site that laid down some rules of things not to get caught doing in public lavies. The one that had me rolling on the floor was:

    "Never put your copy of Cross Dressers Weekly on the floor of the stall before pulling a strip of the bog roll".

    The mental image does it every time.

    Lets see what you Arrsers can add.
  2. Just never, ever go in a public toilet in Japan, chances are you'll end up mocked by the nation. These are ****ing gold!
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  3. Feckin' lunatics.
  4. Go in with George Michael
  5. Grunt, pant and gasp for about 10 minutes before dropping a Cantaloupe melon into the bowl from 6 feet.
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  6. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    say, "Hey, Mate, can you give me a hand with this?"
  7. Say , "can someone lend me their pocket knife to cut this off?"
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  8. God forbid you'd dare do something as bazaar as simply having a shite.
  9. A few Sundays ago I was in the gents of a local that had started doing very nice food, as I was standing there I read the advert for the pub in front of me, it showed the phone number and I thought I'll make a note of that for booking, better still, I'll take a picture with my iPhone, so I did, with my left hand as the right hand was busy holding the old chap. Sure enough, just as the flash went off a bloke came through the door of the Gents, well what would you have said?
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  10. "hope you had the zoom app on fella!"
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  11. Yeah, for those moments when a regulation 'sleepy' hand w@nk just won't do.
  12. Absolutely, although 'abseiling' may be too specialist for some!!!
  13. If you come across a hole carved out of the cubical wall,don't ask if anyone is on the other side.
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