Things/lies your parents told you..

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by mortars2cg, Jun 7, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. We've all been told by our parents that carrots make you see in the dark,eating veg makes you big and strong,and if your Dad hadn't of had that last bottle of Brown Ale he would have pulled out and you wouldn't be here ect ect.

    I recall when I was about 5 or 6 talking to my Dad who was a builder.He was unpacking his tool bag and he put a saw on the floor,. I asked him what happens when the saw goes blunt and he replied " I take it to the Saw Doctor and he sharpens it" .

    I say things like that to my kids all the time now,but the annoying thing was I believed that there was such a thing as a
    Saw Doctor for years afterwards,.

    Anyone else been taken for a cnut by their parents?
  2. Daddy's gone to Australia for six months but he could be back in four with good behavior.
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Mummy and Uncle John were just wrestling.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    None of my sons will be a f,,,,,,,g HAT!!
  5. IIRC it was the RAF that started the story about Carrots during WW2
  6. My Daddy told me that the last thread about lies your parents tell you would be the last.

    The fucker lied!!!!
  7. If you don't stop playing with it it'll fall off.
  8. I'm going to fucking kill you if you tell the social worker.
  9. I'm more worried about one of mine coming out with the immortal question. "Do you want fries with that?"
    • Like Like x 2
  10. 'Rover was finding it hard to cope with being in the house, so we took him to a farmer to look after him. He's got nice big fields to play in now, and he's really happy ... How do we know he's happy? Well, he just is ... No, dearest, you can't visit the farm to see him ... It's too far away ... The farmer doesn't like visitors ... Well he made an exception for us ... Look, stop acting up son or you're grounded!'
  11. No, dear, she was just kissing daddy's tummy...
  12. You will grow into it!
    • Like Like x 2
  13. You'll be perfectly safe Father Murphy is in full charge.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. That one's true.
    • Like Like x 2
  15. When the ice cream van plays his tune it means he's run out of ice cream. Bunch of cunts.
    • Like Like x 1