Things/lies your parents told you..

#1
We've all been told by our parents that carrots make you see in the dark,eating veg makes you big and strong,and if your Dad hadn't of had that last bottle of Brown Ale he would have pulled out and you wouldn't be here ect ect.

I recall when I was about 5 or 6 talking to my Dad who was a builder.He was unpacking his tool bag and he put a saw on the floor,. I asked him what happens when the saw goes blunt and he replied " I take it to the Saw Doctor and he sharpens it" .

I say things like that to my kids all the time now,but the annoying thing was I believed that there was such a thing as a
Saw Doctor for years afterwards,.

Anyone else been taken for a cnut by their parents?
 
#2
Daddy's gone to Australia for six months but he could be back in four with good behavior.
 
#5
We've all been told by our parents that carrots make you see in the dark,eating veg makes you big and strong,and if your Dad hadn't of had that last bottle of Brown Ale he would have pulled out and you wouldn't be here ect ect.

I recall when I was about 5 or 6 talking to my Dad who was a builder.He was unpacking his tool bag and he put a saw on the floor,. I asked him what happens when the saw goes blunt and he replied " I take it to the Saw Doctor and he sharpens it" .

I say things like that to my kids all the time now,but the annoying thing was I believed that there was such a thing as a
Saw Doctor for years afterwards,.

Anyone else been taken for a cnut by their parents?
IIRC it was the RAF that started the story about Carrots during WW2
 
#8
I'm going to fucking kill you if you tell the social worker.
 
#10
'Rover was finding it hard to cope with being in the house, so we took him to a farmer to look after him. He's got nice big fields to play in now, and he's really happy ... How do we know he's happy? Well, he just is ... No, dearest, you can't visit the farm to see him ... It's too far away ... The farmer doesn't like visitors ... Well he made an exception for us ... Look, stop acting up son or you're grounded!'
 
#11
No, dear, she was just kissing daddy's tummy...
 
#16
Saw doctor is a genuine profession...

The classic parental lie has to be "There's an ice cream van at the top of the hill." Worked with me - and with my kids.
 
#18
Mummy, Daddy the Milkman and Uncle John were just wrestling.
 
#20
Here, hold this for me you won't get in trouble.
 

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