Things its hard to say after a drink or two

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by theoriginalphantom, Oct 19, 2005.

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  1. Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk .

    a) Innovative

    b) Preliminary

    c) Proliferation

    d) Cinnamon

    Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk .. .

    a) Specificity

    b) British Constitution

    c) Passive-aggressive disorder

    d) Transubstantiate

    Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk ...

    a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.

    b) Nope, no more booze for me.

    c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.

    d) No kebab for me, thank you.

    e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?

    f) I'm not interested in fighting you.

    g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.

    h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no


    i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.

    j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
  2. Can just about say them sober!!!
  3. I've never managed any of the last section drunk or sober to be honest
  4. With addition to the downright impossible selection

    of course ill keep my clothes on when the zulu chant starts

    of course i wont come in your mouth
  5. One I never manage:

    Hello, May I have a taxi please?

    Seems to come out as "Hewwoo fsygh eye taxsheeee ghshshsh gsfyseee pwskekgkswkwkwk or something similar.

    One that is usually easy to say but never turns out to be true:

    Look at him! he is GOEGEOUS!
  6. No love, I've not been boozing, just had a couple of cokes.
  7. How about this damn right impossible one: 'Yeah, I'll pull out before I ...'
  8. "I'm over the limit, miles from home and even unlocking my car would be an offence at the moment"

    Actually quite easy to say, but seems to get lost in translation somehow. :lol:
  9. No more for me tonight barman. I've had enough.
  10. Criminal.
  11. "Tanks fur cuming hooome with me tonight, i think youuuur reeeeeally lovvvvvvZzzzzzzzzzzz"
  12. "Sorry love....I didn't realise that was your arrse...well I can't put it anywhere else now !"
  13. 'I'm terribly sorry ladies, but one of you two will have to go home now'
  14. Its when your brain wants to say one thing, but your mouth comes out with something else completely different.

    For instance, the other day I was supposed to ask the wife if she would like another drink.

    What I actually came out with was "YOU FCUKING BITCH, YOU RUINED MY LIFE"

    Only a slight slip of the tongue! :twisted:
  15. A few things my other half always manages to get out when he's had a drink or two are.....

    A quick demonstration of his sexual prowess as he does some bollocky lunges at the bottom of the bed in a vane attempt to win sexual favour....

    Before colapsing and emptying the entire contents of his bowels including that nights colonary delights of shabars kebab shop in our bed and up my leg....