Things its hard to say after a drink or two

#1
Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk .


a) Innovative

b) Preliminary

c) Proliferation

d) Cinnamon


Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk .. .


a) Specificity

b) British Constitution

c) Passive-aggressive disorder

d) Transubstantiate


Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk ...


a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.

b) Nope, no more booze for me.

c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.

d) No kebab for me, thank you.

e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?

f) I'm not interested in fighting you.

g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.

h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no

co-ordination.

i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.

j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
 
#3
I've never managed any of the last section drunk or sober to be honest
 
#4
With addition to the downright impossible selection

of course ill keep my clothes on when the zulu chant starts

of course i wont come in your mouth
 
#5
One I never manage:

Hello, May I have a taxi please?

Seems to come out as "Hewwoo fsygh eye taxsheeee ghshshsh gsfyseee pwskekgkswkwkwk or something similar.

One that is usually easy to say but never turns out to be true:

Look at him! he is GOEGEOUS!
 
#8
"I'm over the limit, miles from home and even unlocking my car would be an offence at the moment"

Actually quite easy to say, but seems to get lost in translation somehow. :lol:
 
#13
'I'm terribly sorry ladies, but one of you two will have to go home now'
 
#14
Its when your brain wants to say one thing, but your mouth comes out with something else completely different.

For instance, the other day I was supposed to ask the wife if she would like another drink.

What I actually came out with was "YOU FCUKING BITCH, YOU RUINED MY LIFE"




Only a slight slip of the tongue! :twisted:
 
#15
A few things my other half always manages to get out when he's had a drink or two are.....

A quick demonstration of his sexual prowess as he does some bollocky lunges at the bottom of the bed in a vane attempt to win sexual favour....

Before colapsing and emptying the entire contents of his bowels including that nights colonary delights of shabars kebab shop in our bed and up my leg....
 
#16
cait said:
A few things my other half always manages to get out when he's had a drink or two are.....

A quick demonstration of his sexual prowess as he does some bollocky lunges at the bottom of the bed in a vane attempt to win sexual favour....

Before colapsing and emptying the entire contents of his bowels including that nights colonary delights of shabars kebab shop in our bed and up my leg....
Nice!! Is that his idea of romance?
 
#17
Sluice_dweller said:
cait said:
A few things my other half always manages to get out when he's had a drink or two are.....

A quick demonstration of his sexual prowess as he does some bollocky lunges at the bottom of the bed in a vane attempt to win sexual favour....

Before colapsing and emptying the entire contents of his bowels including that nights colonary delights of shabars kebab shop in our bed and up my leg....
Nice!! Is that his idea of romance?
Yes i thought this was the mating ritual for all wifes of soldiers?
 

DieHard

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
Was in bed with wife afterv a few bevvies, convinced her it was time to do her bit ( only coz she was hoping i would fall to sleep}. while she was down below i said to her in my slurry speach "suck my ba**s" there was a moments hesitation then a most excruciating pain coming from my sac's. "What the fu*k are you doing"? i screamed through clenched teeth and tears. "Well you said slap my balls" she replied.
Still dont know if i was that drunk my speach was that bad, or if she just wasn't in the mood
 
#19
Some things its hard not to say..
'Did'nt I mention that I'm in the SAS'
'Go on,I deploy in the morning and might never see you again'
 
#20
Gunny Highway said:
"Tanks fur cuming hooome with me tonight, i think youuuur reeeeeally lovvvvvvZzzzzzzzzzzz"
I can see how dale is quite taken with you gunny, you old dog.

:lol:
 
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